crazy military men?

Question

ok, first of all im not here to have anyone attack me. I just found out today that my bf decided to voulenteer himself to go to iraq.... do all military men go crazy and decide to completely change their future plans and screw over thier partners?? I know i sound angry, thats cause i am. What im asking is if anyone knows or has gone through anything like this, and if so how did you handle it. Even if you were in the military and did something nuts like this.... can you tell me why>?

I havent been hard on him, i havent even said anything to him about wanting to go there, wanna know why?? I dont want to upset him, i am a very supportive person, i am his rock. What sucks is that no matter how much i hate him today, i cant tell him, the last thing i wanna do is upset him. So i get to sit at home and be miserable, waiting for him and trying to be his everything while he is out having the time of his life and doing what he wants to do (He is the one who said he is having the time of his life) so no one give me **** about not being supportive.

Answer 1

I agree with you. I really think that these military men are being brain washed because it does not make since. My husband is in the military and he is so into his job and it gets on my nerve. He has not gone to Iraq yet, but any day now it might happen. I really do not want him to go either because to me it's like committing suicide. I know that he loves his country however, when he goes and gives up his life what do I get. A flag and his name on a wall for him to be acknowledged. It really sucks this whole military crap and he gets mad at me because I am not being supportive. Ok, so I am a little selfish. I also care for him and I do not want him to get killed. Good Luck to you and I know how you feel.

Answer 2

Go to war? He must be crazy. It is not like the Military is in the business of going to war? I mean geez, you would think it was his job or something. And what was he thinking when he made that decision, it is not like it is his life. He is an adult and should not be able to make his own decisions. WOW...insane.

(I hope you all picked up on the sarcasm.)

He obviously had reasons to join the military. They are probably the same reasons he decided to answer his call to duty by volunteering to help out where he can. Good on him, I'll see him there and buy him a beer when we get back!

EDIT: After reading your additional details I sense a bit of jealousy on your part. I do not know where your relationship is, but if I may let me give you some advice. I have been on active duty for 14 years, married for almot 12. I have spent more time away from home than I would care to. And for the next 1 1/2 years I will not be there at all. My wife used to get upset too that I was out doing all these "cool" things while she was sitting at home taking care of our family. I can tell you for every 1 day that I have had the "time of my life", I have had 10 days in hell. It comes with the job. I used to explain to her that she has the hardest job in the military...being a military wife. She is a stay at home mom that runs my house and takes care of my family while I am gone. And she does it well, she sometimes does it on a moment's notice, and she sometimes does for extended peiods of time. The job does not pay any cash, but the rewards are priceless. When I see my children, I see what an incredible and strong woman my wife is and what a wonderful job she has done being a mother and the father while I was gone. Much of my success has come knowing that I had a "rock" holding things together back at home. So while your military man is out there serving his country, do not think for a minute that you should be sitting at home miserable...you have a job too. When you marry someone in the military you marry the military...remember that. Best of luck to you guys.

Answer 3

Of course it's okay. Have fun! The reason that older men are with younger women more often than the other way around is entirely biological. Men are programmed by nature to seek out women who have the greatest child-bearing potential. A guy may have no interest personally in having kids, but that hot 19 year old in the bikini will get his attention. Women on the other hand are programmed to seek security - a good provider that won't stray and will devote himself to the raising of their kids. So, the older partner has tended to be the guy. No matter. If you've aged gracefully enough to attract the young guys (and you're not looking for a provider) - you go girl!

Answer 4

Well actually if you were his rock you would be his wife! If you haven't noticed he really doesn't care much about what you think or how you feel. My husband would never do anything like that because he values "our" future too much. I know that it is a possibility that he will get sent to Iraq so instead of being upset about it I am proud of him. Your bf is doing something that he feels is right and if you can't understand his reasons for going and be happy for him then maybe your not right for him. If he's telling you he's having the time of his life, he's possibly excluding you from it. It really sounds like he's wanting away from you. I'm not trying to be mean or anything But I've seen this happen a lot since my husband has been in the military. I think you need to take a long hard look at your relationship.

Answer 5

The whole mentality of military personnel is different. Part of the reason some people join the military is related to their overwhelming sense of duty. Duty to their country, families, God and themselves. They feel the need to protect, support and defend those they love and the freedoms they whole-heartedly believe in. The thought of having others die to defend their rights while they sit back safely and do nothing is very unsettling to them. My husband was scheduled to go on a 6 month tour to an area which is considered a medium risk area and was terribly upset that he would be away from me and our 3 kids that long but was thouroughly willing to go. Shortly before he was to deploy he screwed up his knee and needed surgery. This made it impossible for him to be deployed as scheduled. He was really miserable and felt he was letting the others deploying down. It is a hard character trait to live with sometimes in situations like the military but you truly have to admire the loyalty, fortitude and respect that these people hold so dear to their hearts that they are willing to leave their loved ones to defend them AND strangers. Good luck to you and God Bless & protect your bf.

Answer 6

I don't know your husband personally but it sounds alot like he has the same feelings as I did in the military and still do by the way. The military is a brotherhood, I love the guys I worked with and I know they felt the same way. So when I got sent back in the early part of our redployment I felt guilty when I got back to the states. I was no longer there to watch their backs.

If your in the military and everyone around you is a combat vet, you feel like a piece of cr@p if you where in the same amount of time as them. Like you don't belong in the same room with them. Thats how I felt when I missed the first deployment to Afghanistan.

I feel your pain, no one wants to be without the person they love. I'm just trying to hive you the feelings he is having inside. If you wan't ypour man to be happy your going ot have to let him do this, otherwise he will feel resentfull of you, I know I would.

Answer 7

Men don't think about all of the consequences at first, thats why.

I cry every day worrying about my airman... I really don't know what to say to you. It sucks a LOT, but there isn't anything you can do about it, and being angry isn't going to help anything. Make the most of the time you have left to spend together. Show him you love him, even though you are mad at him. Kiss him while you can, and build up those memories to last you through his deployment.

Dont forget to take lots and lots of pictures of you two together.

Answer 8

Dont listen to these people. I feel you. Im in the military and happily married with a child. my wife is there for me no matter what happens. You should be by his side always if you really love him. He is not going to Iraq to leave you, he probably just wants to have a better future with his gf or future wife. Support him he needs you, hes going to war.

Answer 9

I joined the Navy in 1987, to get money to pay for college and because I felt that I owed something to the country. After leaving active duty in 1993, I joined the Naval Reserve and have served there ever since.

In 2005, I got my call for mobilization. A few people asked my parents what I would do about it and at least one person thought I should go to Canada. The thought of deserting never entered my mind. I wear the uniform and I will do my duty for my country.

You might think that is crazy; I think that people who refuse to serve are selfish.

Answer 10

You did not choose the right place to vent if you don't want to be attacked. Calling us "Nuts" is just an invitation!

You will never understand it, don't even try. It's a guy thing.

Each generation fills the boots of the generation before. We honor the men before us and admire those that follow us. We show up needed or not, just in case, because we believe.

It's a guy thing.

You will never get it because you are only worried about you.

SSG US Army 73-82

Answer 11

I got accepted to MIT. I might have had a successful life after that. I was even engaged at the time, though the date was set for after graduation.

I ended up joining the USMC though. I went enlisted. It felt like my 'calling'. My fiance was less than thrilled and left me because she said I would become some kind of 'killer' instead of the man she loved.

There was so much more to me about being a U.S. Marine. The pride. The honor. I did it to prove something to myself. I did it knowing that 'freedom' isn't free at all. That I would step forward when so few were willing.

You might ask yourself, "How is he 'screwing' me over'?" He will be the same person he was before. Job title should hold no bearing on devotion or love.

From me and my family, we thank your boyfriend for stepping forward when so few will. For guarding our freedoms. He gives credit to himself and his family name.

If I were you, I would be proud.