we all know what it means to be a gentleman,but what does it mean to be a ''lady'' ?

Question

some say that men should treat their women like helpless babies who are incapable of supporting themselves.that they are doomed to failure if a man isnt in their lives.then there are the hypocrites;if a woman can stay at home to raise their child,its ok.should a man want to be a stay at home DAD,hes looked at as a slob and a no good slacker.what gives ?

also,women want equality....or do they ? from my personal experience,for every 10 times i willingly paying for something or initiate an activity,my gf will have 1.

for guys who take the ''chivalry is the way of the man'' stance,ive yet to meet a woman incapable of opening a door. in the movie '' A Bronx Tale'' chaz palmetieri offered this bit of advice...''be a gentleman and let your date in the car first.as you walk around to let yourself in,if she hasnt got the common courtesy of unlocking your door,dump her then and there.''

on the surface,that may seem barbaric but in theory,its fair.are men truly walking talking wallets ?

Answer 1

As I am a lady, I offer you this, as my explanation of what I see as a gentleman.

go back to the old days.. a gentleman pulled out a chair for the lady.. he opened doors.. my father walks on the road side of a footpath and makes me walk on the building side - I LOVE that!.....

Men don't have to baby me, they dont' have to shower me with gifts either - thats materialistic.. just treat me with some respect - do the simple things as above (which is polite and makes a woman feel special - mind you I open doors for anyone!)

Allow the woman to be independant, but hey the man is the one with physical strength, perhaps carry heavy shopping - cut the wood, mow the lawns (unless she insists - however I was raised in a home where it was not womens work, although I DO do my own lawns these days)

I don't beleive the man should pay for everything either!

To be a gracious lady - we must accept that a man likes to open our door - behave like the typical gentleman type of thing.. she must also be grateful if that man does accept his role of 'man of the house' and does his duties such as car maintenance, lawn mowing, taking the rubbish out, cutting the wood.. but in turn she must not complain about what is commonly done better by a woman and becomes her duties.

That being said - it doesn't mean a man can't help with housework and the woman can't help in his duties either!

A true lady will show her man respect (as in he lets her in the car - she unlocks the door for him as said above) - we must not abuse the treatment we are getting - we are to be accepting and give the same respect in return! I think that is where a lot of women are lacking these days - they expect.. and also expect to give nothing in return. ditch that type - they don't deserve a true gentleman.

bring it on - I'd love to find a man who will respect I am the weaker sex physically and will treat me like a lady - but that doesn't mean that I'm not a go = getter - after all, I can fix cars, I can ride a motorbike, I can use a chainsaw - in fact I can do anything, but when a man is around.. I let the man be the man and I again.. become the lady.

re this and I quote "on the surface,that may seem barbaric but in theory,its fair.are men truly walking talking wallets ?"

I have afriend who thinks the amount of love she is getting from her man is 'proven' by how much gold he buys her (as in jewellery) - if he doesn't buy her expensive gifts - he doesn't love her - come on girls.. time to be grateful for the GOOD a man brings into our lives - not their monetary value! I have to agree, there are a lot of women who are out for monetary comfort - but money does NOT buy happiness.

When it comes to buying dinner - a man should offer to pay perhaps - however the woman (who no doubt WORKS too) SHOULD offer her half! If she doesn't - I think that is plain rude - I have always paid my own way, or if the guy pays for the meal.. *I* Insist on paying for the next one.. its all about fairness!

A true lady, and a true gentleman.. can be a perfect combination so long as there is appreciation from both sides for eachother being the sex they are (did that make sense?)

Answer 2

I think a lady needs to show a bit of modesty. I don't find it ladylike to sit on the bus loudly discussing how much you drank on the weekend and how you can't remember who you were kissing. Personally, I wouldn't find that terribly attractive in guys either, except I can't remember hearing any guys saying that.
It's nice that you say it's ok for a woman to stay at home and look after her kids. However, social pressure seems just as much against that as it is against mothers who go out to work. Bit of a "can't please everyone" sort of situation. I often feel guilty about staying home, but I think it's dumb to go and work so I can afford to pay someone else to bring up my kid. I have never heard anyone say a stay at home dad is a slacker. Who's going to say that? Most mothers would know better.
I think people confuse "equality" with "the same." I want to be treated as an equal to men, but I don't want to be treated the same. I'm not a man. There is a reason for the traditional dating rules, actually. To put it briefly, when a guy pays for stuff, he's showing generosity, that he's not a tight git who will grudge supporting her when she has kids. Even if a woman intends to go back to work straight away, she can't be at the office while in labour. When the girl accepts the man paying, she is demonstrating that she can be pleased. No guy is going to stick around if he can't please a chick. As for your little movie advice. Why would you open the car door for someone, then expect them to make themselves uncomfortable leaning all the way over to unlock your door? It sort of defeats the purpose of the act of chivalry. Which is the nicer thing to see on a date? Your girl grunting while she tries to get comfortable in her seat again and fix her top. Or your girl waiting happily for you to get in the car?
Yes, men are walking, talking wallets to a degree. Just like women are sex on legs to a degree. There's nothing wrong with that, unless that's all there is.

Answer 3

Being a lady means being more able to show one's sentiments and feeling others' sentiments. Being a lady means showing decorum and a sense of propriety. Being a lady means you keep a part of yourself locked away until someone comes along with the key.

But most of all, a woman can only be a lady when treated as one.

I find it ridiculous that some people would say that the way you've referred to is the way for a man to treat a woman. There are many alpha women in society today who are very individualistic and strong-minded while maintaining strong sympathy of others.

The reason why in society, it is considered unsavory for a man to be a slacker is because in the entire line of history, men have always received more opportunities. There are many privileges that men were given that were not available to women until not so long ago.

Men received education. Men were looked to for opinion. Men were considered superior. Men were dominant in the household. And men have more physical strength.

In all ways, men have a distinct advantage over women.

That is why it is unacceptable for a man to not excel when a woman does. Think about it: why should the person given a head start in a race not finish first unless that person did not have the motivation to either win or train?

And equality between men and women means that we can achieve the same things, we can both finish the race, but because of the natural sequence of the world with men getting the advantage, women will always be set back even if by a smidgen. In a way, a true equality can never be reached because men are men and women are women.

There are many reasons why the men still traditionally pay for the women.

The most crass one is that, as one of the most basic concepts in this world, there are some points to being a female that are infinitely more precious than the ones to being a male. A woman has a maidenhead, while a man has none. There are more cases of women getting raped than men getting raped.

As scientifically proven, women have a wider range of emotion than men. Unfortunately, this also makes it easier for women to get hurt. This is the main incentive for a man to protect a woman: to prevent her from getting hurt.

That's why showing chivalry, opening the door or paying for a dinner, is more than just about the physical or financial. It is a way to exhibit the truth that a man, with his assets and abilities, should always seek to distinguish himself from a woman.

In my opinion, a man should always pay for the woman. It's an aspect of my own ethics, not because I wish to leech off a man's wallet. But I never allow a man to pay unless I am confident that I care enough about the certain man to rely on him, show him weakness.

I can, however, see why you would think the way you do. There are many women these days who are incredibly loose and flighty with their own beings, and it's rather distasteful for me, as a fellow member of the same sex, to see such disgusting behavior. My advice would be to find the right woman.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I think that a lady is a woman who respects herself. Being a lady means being modest, knowing what you have but not letting everyone else know about those things all the time.
Being a lady is knowing what you want, in a man, in a career and out of life as a whole. Then going after those things in such a way that you are not dishonoring yourself. If you are a woman that wants equality, deal with it when you get it! Even when then man doesn't pick up the bill or open the door.

I think the bigger issue is seeking out a person that is what you want...forget society.

I am a stay at home mom....my husband is the bread winner. I have my job, he has his. We agreed prior to marriage that this is the way we wanted our lives to be. I have worked when we needed it financially, and we worked as a team then to do the household stuff. Its all about balance!

I know a couple where the man was a stay at home dad for a while...he is still the one that does the cooking, food shopping and cleaning....even though he works full time and his wife doesn't. To me that is messed up and off balance, the majority of the family responcability falls on him.

I think that the key is figuring out what person you want. THEN, finding the person that fits you and vise-versa. Being upfront about who you want may put people off, but thats probably the best way to find out that they are not for you!

Also, not all women want eqaulity BUT being a stay at home mom is not "normal". Women are expected to have careers.

If your woman has a career and makes a compairable income to yours, she should be paying for stuff too. If you are the walking wallet and you'd like her to pay for some stuff, tell her....nicely! Its not barbaric! If she has issues with that....there will be ALOT more issues down the road! If you would feel guilty about asking a woman to pay, but want her to, maybe the issue is yours.

Answer 5

To be a lady is to be respectful and tactful. The same is true for gentlemen.

Most of the do's and don't's are lost. Some basic ones like common courtesy I hope never die.

None of the things that come to my mind about being a gentleman have anything to do with his wallet.

I work in a corporate building, with executives. Do you think people stop, see someone is behind them and hold the door? They don't.

The other day, as I was reaching the doors, a gentleman who was there working to create offices got up off the bench where he was resting on a break just to open the door for me. I had nothing in my hands. He took my breath away and I thanked him respectfully and whole heatedly.

To have etiquette, to show respect, to be graceful is not being a rug or old fashioned. It's honest, polite and civilized.

But it's your decision. If someone steals your wallet, are you wrong for having one? Will you not replace it with another one and continue to carry one? Don't let other people's shortcomings effect the person you want to be.

Answer 6

A lady will recognize and appreciate the fact that you are a gentleman. Being a lady, she will treat you like the gentleman you are. Mutual respect is a must and should be the only demand made of either party.
By the way, Chaz is absolutely, 100% correct. If you're gentlemanly enough to open the door for me, I'll certainly make sure to unlock yours.
If you kill the spiders and take out the trash, I'll make sure the house is tidy and you are well fed.

Answer 7

This lady (and I use the term lightly) seems a bit Bonkers. If she has any family (that aren't Bonkers too) you could ring them up.They may be able to deal with her better than the law. Family could get her Doc to physical her. Perhaps some medication would help her function with slightly higher mental abilities. If that 's a failure call the friggin police, they love to taser people who carry sticks. It's a funny question. Good luck with the olde girl!

Answer 8

A lady respects herself and it apparent to those around her w/o doubt. As for the remainder of your question...Women like to be treated tenderly & kindly by men. As a woman, I like to do things for my man. I unlock the door. I offer to run thru the parking lot in the rain & pull the car up for him. I scratch his back w/o his asking. At times, I rub his hair & face until he falls asleep. I gladly buy him things he needs & wants. I let him know he is a wonderful dad & provider. I want equality for doing equal things. I am strong & smart & hard working but so is my husband --we just happen to excel in different subjects/skills. I am just as valuable as the next person --man or woman. Not all women view men as "wallets". I actually make more $ than my husband, but it is OURS...the more made, the more shared.

Answer 9

To be a lady or a gentleman is really quite simple. The whole purpose is to make other people feel comfortable in social situations. When a gentleman holds a chair for a lady to sit in or a lady feigns interest in what a guest is saying it is all about making other people comfortable.

Having rules of expected behavior actually makes social situations easier to deal with. Most young people do not understand the value of etiquette. When we know the rules and what is expected socializing, especially with strangers, is much easier and more comfortable.

When dating, if a girl is your girlfriend that means you should pay for most things and you receive certain favors she would not share with someone who is not her boyfriend. If you don't want to pay you should not have a girlfriend.

When dating someone for the first time, I suppose the one who asked for the date should be expected to pay but if it is purely a social date and the woman invited me, I would share the expense and pay my own way, at least. This keeps all expectations neutral. If you want to progress further with her you should offer to pay for her. If she wishes to progress further with you she should accept . If she does not, she should not allow the man to pay her way. Again, keeps it neutral, no unfulfilled expectations.

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Answer 10

In my opinion being a lady means giving respect to your man as long as he gives it to you. Knowing when to be tough and strong and knowing when to be soft and gentle. Knowing when to pamper him and knowing when to help him stand on his own two feet.I for one do not like for a man to spend money on me( don't drop dead in disbelief, it's true) My hubby and I take equal responsibility in everything except child birth.....lol. He would have one contraction and shoot himself. Also as far as all that treat your woman like a helpless baby and women being doomed to failure crap if a man every treated me like that I would drop his *** so fast it would make his head spin. I think stay at home dads are great too...in my opinion if it is going to be one parent working and the other staying at home with the kids it should be who ever is capable of bringing more money home