His kids are 2 and 3 and he has been broken up with there mom for about a 1.5 yr now. I met him at my friend's party. I wasn't expecting to meet anyone. I wasn't going to talk to anyone of my friends' friend because I know what they are about. (Another story) Anyway, I like how he approach me and he was very respectable. I'm somewhat paranoid when I meet people especially when someone tells me in the very first conversation that he looks forward to spending time with me. Plus he's looking to be married someday and I maybe the one or something like that. It freak me and I let him know. I said lets just get to know each other and go from there. Well I went over his house yesterday to visit with him and his kids were there because his has full custody over them. I didn't mine but it was a little overwhelming at first and I wanted to go but later on we all had a good. Anyway, I really like him and want to get to know him but I feel that he's just looking for someone to help raise his kids.
2007-08-14 16:59:24 · 11 answers · asked by gloried 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BTW - I'm single with no kids - 30 and he's 39. Will be 40 in october. --- Don't get me wrong I love kids but I just felt it was too soon for me to meet his kids. Plus he was a perfect gentleman before and after the kids went to bed.
Since I just meet him last friday, is it too soon to voice my fears and concerns?
2007-08-14 17:02:11 · update #1
I'm not desperate at all. I have other things going on in my life that take precedent over marrying or dating. trust me boundaries are set.
2007-08-14 17:42:53 · update #2
i was in the same postion as you are in now please feel free to talk to me add me to msn plait1@hotmail.com
2007-08-14 17:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by badgirlforlife007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all if this question was about a woman having kids and seeing a guy with no kids, everyone would probably have a different view. Just because he made a comment when he first met you, doesn't mean he is looking for someone to raise his kids. Apparently he has been doing it himself for awhile, and from what you have said, it sounds like he has been handling it pretty well. Has anyone thought that maybe he is looking for a companion for himself? Two little kids, no other adult around...hmmmmmm I was a single parent, and although I love my son to pieces, there were many times I would have loved the company of another adult. Just take things slowly. Don't go running for the hills just yet. If he is sincere and a gentleman like you said, hang on for a bit and see where it goes. A true gentleman is hard to find these days. Most are man whores. Talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel and what your thoughts are. If you don't have any communication between you now, there is no chance of a future later. Best friends first always makes for a long lasting relationship. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders....... don't let a good one get away.
2016-05-18 01:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days their are no set ways to date. Some people who have never had really bad things happen feel no need to protect the innocent ones. I never let anyone around my kids until the last man I dated. On the first date we brought his and mine. Two years later we realized we had never had a date alone. Six years after we met we married, and we have been married four years now.
Maybe this gentleman felt very comfortable around you. If you are having issues you need to get out now, or take the time to express yourself. Don't play games!
Don't judge him until you have spoken w/him. Let him know where those boundries lye. Good luck!
2007-08-22 14:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by mendnjoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have MAJOR concerns that he brought you around his children so soon. He is old enough to know better. Have you even discussed your favorite colors, foods, and dating styles yet? It's WAY TOO SOON for him to discuss marriage with you because you don't know each other yet.
I think it's important that you establish some boundaries and perimeters around this new relationship immediately before you get sucked into "mommy mode" too quickly.
I understand that you are 30 and you may hear your clock ticking esp. since you don't have any kids of your own. Trust me, it happened to me too.
But, be careful - men who are users can sense desperation a mile away so he'll say all of the right things to get you into a space to achieve his goals.
Just make sure to remain level headed while deciding whether or not this guy is really the one for you.
Good luck!
2007-08-14 17:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by Betty Bookworm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he is looking for a mother for his kids.Its got to be tough,trying to raise 2 babies by yourself.He does sound like a nice guy.maybe he wanted you to meet the kids,because he knows the bulk of your dating will involve them.Baby sitters cost a lot of money and you can not trust them.This is a package deal,all or none.I married a dad of 2 but with joint custody,and that is worse.You have a ex to deal with.He only got the 2 children ever other week end and all holidays.She prevented me from being close with them.But Love concurs all.27 years later I have a wonderful husband and 2 grown and married step children that calls me mom,and grand babies!!!So it does work out.Date and get to know him and his children.Step-mother is not all bad.
2007-08-22 16:26:26 · answer #5 · answered by lotteda717 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was his approach a one liner? Was this the first time you two spoke...at the party? If he's expressing his desires for marriage already he may be looking for an instant mother...not that you could or would replace the children's maternal mother but perhaps he may need help raising his children. You can be perfect for the piece to his puzzle and that's fine. If you choose to be serious with him. But why so fast? Take your time. Enjoy the dates even with the kids. As long as you all get along and your happy...go for it.
2007-08-22 16:15:35 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all these questions are happening in the beginning, then I would not like to see it a year from now. He did have you to meet the children to soon, maybe for them as well as for you, I would take my time and so not limit yourself with just this one person, time will tell you where you are and how you feel about, trust yourself.
2007-08-22 13:37:34 · answer #7 · answered by culater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the above answer that its too soon for you to meet his children and talk abt marraige. Just be really careful and try to get to know him as much as you can before you do something serious.
2007-08-22 13:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by James 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has two kids and is looking to marry again. Take things slow as this is an instant family for you.
2007-08-20 19:51:49 · answer #9 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you carnt see yourself loving and caring for his young children ,then there is no point carrying on with him, because they are going to need someone who s going to love them!
2007-08-22 16:15:22 · answer #10 · answered by Pam m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋