A little background. Fussy little old lady across the street, lives in a huge home by herself. Just put $26K into redoing her backyard.
Now as some of you know, I have a new puppy, Diogenes, who is just at the stage where we've got him trained to go in the yard - finally! So every 2 hours, I let him out my front door, he piddles, and I praise him. Not loudly. Just from my front door and he's about 20 feet away. "Good boy! Nice potty!"
Little Old Lady neigbhor came over to complain recently. The sound really carries into her backyard, you see. It's just a terrible burden on her to hear me say "good boy, nice potty."
So...can you think of some OTHER way for me to praise my dogs defication and urinary accomplishments? I'd like them to be something to really make her day, if possible. Just now I said incorporated "diarrhea" in my praises, but I thought you guys could do better.
Thanks!
2007-08-14 14:39:19 · 18 answers · asked by Laptop Jesus 3.9 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
"All right Diogenes...that was a super #1 you just did! Now show me a #2! Come on! You can do it! Push it out, boy! That's it! Come on...you can do better than that! I want to see a big steaming pile right there! BIIIIIIIGGGGG STEEEEEAAAAAMING PILE! I want them to smell it in Texas! Holy smokes! I don't think that will fit in my can!"
2007-08-14 14:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jess H 7 · 10⤊ 1⤋
If you say "good dog, good boy, good Diogenes" after he does his business, he'll probably get the idea that piddling or pooping in the yard is a good thing.
2007-08-14 21:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by VeggieTart -- Let's Go Caps! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How much nicer can you get than "potty"? That's what I used to call it when I was enrolled in my church's nursery school!
I mean, if a phrase is good enough for a 5-year-old at a church nursery school...
Anyway, here are my crap-tacular contributions:
"Who's a good boy for making ground lemonade?"
"Hey, Diogenes what's the best nation on Earth? Uri-nation!"
"Pee-utifal job, Diogenes!"
2007-08-14 21:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by James-hova RTR: Suspended Champ 2 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Next time the old bat comes over to complain explain to her that everything sh*ts, even her. Maybe she's jealous that nobody ever praises her dumps.
2007-08-15 06:55:37 · answer #4 · answered by Murazor 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is true ( it's not what you say, but the way you say it). Try saying a few words that are unintelligible to your neighbor but in a way that your dog can understand as praise.
2007-08-14 21:55:24 · answer #5 · answered by butch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's not the phrasing, but the voice that'd do the trick. just tell him, over and over again in the most irritatingly pleasant - but loud - voice you can muster, what a good boy he is. she sounds like the type who's sure to be bothered no end by it. good luck, lol!
2007-08-14 22:19:19 · answer #6 · answered by I'/\/\AZILLA2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I could come up with several that she would beg you to go back to the "nice potty" one. But they would get deleted if I put them here.
2007-08-14 21:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Good job, Diogenes! That's one hell of Sh**!"
"Way to take a piss, boy!"
Maybe that would stop her from complaining about the term "potty".
2007-08-14 23:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by Cheese Fairy - Mummified 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey Diogenes, way to let go with the yellow flow, buddy!
2007-08-14 21:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Petting your dog is the best way. Other treats work well too.
Then there is the fact that the noise ordinance probably doesn't start in your city until about 9 o'clock so you can tell her nicely to go away.
2007-08-14 21:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by meissen97 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋