my heart has been broken.?

Question

I'm 17 and my boyfriend was 18. We are about to start our senior year in high school..we were together for a little over a year and a half and he recently broke up with me for the 3rd time. And for the same reason, that he doesn't know what he's doing with his life, that he loves me, but he thinks i deserve better. I don't understand where this is coming from again because we weren't even fighting when he broke up with me. He called me this morning and said that he needed to tell me something, he told me that he lied to me a couple of times about where he was going, he told me that he would tell me he was staying home, but then he would go out with his friends. he says he still wants to be with me, but doesn't know what he's doing, he says he's really confused, which hey, so am I. I'm not sure what to do, I know i shouldnt even take him back if he tries, but i love him so much. has anyone been through this? should i take him back for a 3rd time? I'm so confused. Please help :(

Answer 1

Yes, I went through it for seven years. I lost a lot of my youth and my friends and also drove my family crazy in the process. You are young and have your whole life in front of you. Don't waste it on some guy who isn't even sure he wants you, or what he wants for himself. You have college to think about and there are a plethora of guys there. Focus on your friends and academics this year. I know you feel like your heart is broken, but it's only bruised. It will get better, I promise. He's trying to confuse you because he's not sure what he wants, and he wants to be sure you're on stand-by waiting for him to make up his mind. Don't give him that power! It does not seem like this is a healthy relationship or he would be more considerate of your feelings. Find someone who is, you have plenty of time!

Answer 2

The two of you are very young. Reality is that high school sweethearts rarely stay together forever. He doesn't know what he is doing with his life and at this point I doubt if you do either. Maybe he thinks that if he has a girlfriend that he isn't suppose to do anything other than be with you. I would say to just keep communication open yet give him some space and just live your life and do what ya gotta do...Your goal right now is to get through high school. Try not to let all the emotional stuff get in the way of your own dreams. Maybe later down the road the two of you will be together but if you push it right now you will end up not even friends. The part where he says you deserve better makes me wonder if it was his "friends" he was out with, if you know what I mean. Those words usually come from a guilty conscience. Good luck and I wish you both the best.

Answer 3

Many Times

Answer 4

sounds like a very confused boy, probably because he is so young and is trying to figure out what life is all about (just a guess.) no you should not take him back just yet because you know that he's going to do the same thing to you in a few months or so, sorry to say it but it's true. what you need to do is make him suffer for a while, dont answer his calls, dont act interested at all, ignore him at times, do whatever you can to seem like you're over him and moved on. this will show him that you're not just some push over girl that he can just keep using and abusing. see by taking him back like you have before, you've actually taught him to treat you the way he does. just do what suggested as hard as that may be and show him that your not going to take being treated like that anymore. once he sees that you've changed, i'm sure that he'll change his ways as well to better suit you and your needs. hope that helped and good luck to you :)

Answer 5

i personally think if he wants you back then get back with him. ive been through the same thing. we were together for a year and broken up a couple times. if you feel that you really love him then dont let him go. he could just need some time to decide what he wants and what he is doing in life. i am 16 and my x is 17 we are really good friends still even though we arent together. we just decided to take a break. i think your boyfriend might just want to have some time to himself because life is really confusing especially at this age. well it is for me and my x anyway.
if you ever need to talk about it im here
hope i helped
good luck

Answer 6

Ok. I've been thru this 2wice. First of all, do not accept him back for the 3rd time. I mean, you've been thru him once, and then twice...why try for a third time? This means this could happen for more than 10 times! Answer: Break up. You know you love him, and you know he's confused and so are you, so the best thing to do is break up. Even tho you love him, there shouldn't be any confusion between his love about you, or your love about him.Oh, and also, there shouldn't be secrets or lies...that just proves that he didn't really love you...but it's all up to what you decide..be happy tho ^_^

Answer 7

Has anyone been thru this? YES, many have
In teenage relationships emotions are intense but the male isn't ready for commitment until he in his late twenties. He may care for you but know he still wants to be free and have fun. People change dramatically fro 18 to 25 yrs. Chances ae you'll want a different person by then. Take time to enjoy growing up.
Take heed to all YA answers and save yourself more heartache.
Married at 16 divorced at 22

Answer 8

So sorry to hear about Mr. Existential Dread.

It sounds like he just can’t keep one thought together. It’s okay if you keep taking him back. The problem with that plan is that eventually, your heart and mind will get tired of it all, which is okay too. AND it’s also exhausting to your friends and family, who by now are probably pretty jaded about your relationship.

It sounds to me that he has a very hard time keeping a commitment, while you are perfectly comfortable doing so. There is no single course of action you can take other than to ask yourself how long you can take Mr. Wishy Washy’s antics.

You definitely deserve better, and better is out there, but as long as you hold out hope that he will get his shi-t together, you will be stuck in the same cycle, in which he is calling the shots.

My best to you.

Answer 9

He doesnt know what he wants, so do you want someone like that? There are so many guys out there just dying to love someone in a much better way. If you give him another chance, he'll figure youll give him another when he needs it again. Move on, you'll be better off in the long run, and happier with a guy who is willing to give you everything for your heart. He's 18, a boy, not ready to be a man yet, and with that, not ready to give you a serious relationship. Move on, and get someone better!

Answer 10

Turning 18 brings all new opportunites and you really dont no what you want, or what will happen. I think your bf is really owried about the future, and as much as he wouldnt admit it he is, you chat with him, tell him not worry and that things will sort themself out. If use do get back together, then take each day as it comes, dont rush things and he will feel more settled too. tis an age thing, 18 brings confusions as i felt just the same.