1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
22. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
23. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
2007-08-14 11:02:00 · 12 answers · asked by sph 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Why did you feel the need to expose all of my thoughts? lol
2007-08-14 19:19:50 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'HANG UP AND DRIVE!" Explanation: I was hit by a distracted driver about a year and a half ago. Totaled my vehicle and caused permanent injury to both me and my wife. The driver, by the way, not only was on her cell phone in the middle of a snowstorm, she NEVER HUNG UP THE PHONE the entire time. Literally. Her passenger was the one who shuttled the insurance information back and forth. You know how, when criminals are sentenced, their victims get to make a "victim impact statement"? As part of the condition of my settlement, I wrote a letter to the driver (who was 18) telling her what her few minutes of carelessness had done to the previous year of my life. I bought that bumper sticker and put it in the envelope. And when I sent it all to the claims adjuster, I included one for her, too.
2016-05-17 23:05:02 · answer #2 · answered by christa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooooooooooold news.
Seen these for years.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
2007-08-14 11:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by GeriGeri 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Absolutely love this one: 2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
2007-08-14 11:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't stand the heat! Throw out the man.
2007-08-14 11:09:14 · answer #5 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
11 was my favorite!!! an 23 oh so true!!!!
2007-08-14 11:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by Steph! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol that got a laugh outta me!
2007-08-14 11:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you wonder why there is a problem with battered women in this country?
Might as well deep fry them too.
2007-08-14 11:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
LOL these are good. lol nice
2007-08-14 16:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by lax4life<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like #'s:1,3,6,8,12,16,17,18,20,and 23 . quite funny!!!
2007-08-14 11:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋