Why Is She Being Like This?

Question

Ever since i moved in with my boyfriend my mum hasn't spoken to me proply. Im 17 going on 18 and i've got a good head on me i am not stupid i wouldn't rush into something with my eyes closed. So why is she being like this?

Ive known my boyfriend for about 6 years we went through senior school together

She got on well with my boyfriend before i moved in with him so i dont understand why

Answer 1

You're still her little girl and she doesnt want to let you go. If you show her how serious you are she will see you are happy and will come round to the idea.

Answer 2

I left home at 17 and was left feeling just like you. I knew what I was doing, wasn't stupid etc. I now have a teenage daughter and would throw a fit if she decided to do the same. Has it occurred to you that maybe your Mum doesn't know what to say. She may be worried that she will drive you further away if she lets you see how angry or upset she is, but at the same time she can't pretend to be happy because she is worried. Worried about all the hundreds of things that can go wrong that you are not even aware of at your age. I am sure you have a good head on you, unfortunately its not a very experienced one. And thats whats worrying your Mum.

Answer 3

You say you have a good head, you're not stupid, and you wouldn't rush into anything, yet you're a 17 yr old moving in with an 18 yr old.
I don't know what "proply" means, so can't say why your mom isn't doing it, except that she wanted you to amount to something more than a live-in gf after all the time and money she put into raising you. She loves you too much to see you throw your life away, which is what you're doing.

Answer 4

She is being like this becuase you are only 17 years old. It may feel like you are all grown up and understand what you want and need, but the reality is that you don't yet. Your Mom is worried about you and only wants the best for you. Shacking up with your boyfriend at 17 is definitely not a good idea. You should be thinking about furthering your education so that you can be financially independent and can make choices later in your life. If you shack up now and end up getting pregnant, you will need to depend on a man for the rest of your life to support you and your children.

Answer 5

My parents and whole family did the same thing to me when I moved in with my boyfriend at 18... he was kinda a jerk though. Anyway, just try and stay close to your mom and let her know that you are OK and just because you have taken this step with your boyfriend doesn't mean that you are no longer a part of her family. Bring him around as much as she will allow and let her realize he is a good guy.

Answer 6

Because after raising you and hoping for a decent life for you, she is dissappointed you have now chosen at the ripe old age of 17 to live with your boyfriend.
You are too young to be living in a defacto relationship, but are too immature to realise it.
You will understand when you become a mother yourself the agonies that mothers go through when they know their child is making the wrong life decisions.

Answer 7

Please can you project your mind forward. If you can do it one year at a time so much the better. You are now the parent of a 17 year old young woman fast approaching 18. And in your imagination be the best parent ever.

Now live and act as you would expect your daughter to live and act.

(By the way if you do have a daughter or daughters - don't expect anything of the sort.)

Answer 8

hi, my mum was the same, when i met my husband i was only 18 and my mum hated it! she was always waiting for it to all go wrong but it never did and 20 years later we are still together, now i am a mum myself of a fifteen year old i can understand that she was worried for me, dont be too hard on your mum you only get one, just do the best you can and be proud when you are celebrating many years with your boyfriend as I'm sure your mum will be proud of you, good luck and i hope you have many happy years together x

Answer 9

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Marriage is a committment not entered into lightly. Shacking up is an arrangement easily revoked. there is no vow, no contract, no promises. She is not talking to you because she doesn't want to push you into doing anything else you may regret as a result of trying to prove her wrong or establish how right you think you are.

Answer 10

It's because you're 17 and shacked up already. You're still young, and believe me, you don't know everything.

I thought my mate was mad when she shacked up with her boyfriend, and she was 19. We didn't speak for a while because of it, because I thought she was rushing into it and that he was a bit of a cnut. Turns out I was right!!! She was married 4 months later, pregnant at 20, divorced at 21. And he was an UTTER UTTER cnut to her.

So be warned. Youth and impetuousness go hand in hand. These things are easy to get into, but bloody difficult to get out of. And your relationship with your mother is waaay more important, especially if you've previously had a good one with her.

Why don't you write her a letter outlining your feelings? Then at least you've tried...

Answer 11

Your mom is being a bit childish. Whether she is worried about you, upset or angry, she should talk to you and be there for you. Unless he is a druggie, alcoholic, tramp or bad influence to you, it should not be so bad. Children learn from their mistakes, there is nothing what can be done about it. Maybe your mom did some serious mistakes when she was your age and freaked out, cos she might be afraid the same thing will happen to you. Just aks her to have some free time for you and talk to her. The worst scenario why children do most mistakes is when they are afraid of their parents and can not trust them. Just like some daughters who are told they will be beaten up by their parents if they tell them they are pregnant!More coopration tell her you will listen to her advice, but will make your own decisions!Good luck!