I just recently visited my mom for the weekend. She had a chip on her shoulder the whole time and was looking for a fight with her husband etc. We stayed and made the best of it but were definitely ready to leave when the weekend was over. I had decided to move four states away in a year due to my husband finding a great job in Denver. Mom has already started the guilt trip asking me when am I coming back to visit (I live 7 hrs away) and how she wished I lived closer. I try to visit when I can out of respect but it seems unfair because mom does not work and her husband is self employed. They have never visited me. I work full time and go to school part time. It annoys me that my mom is not thoughful of this and puts pressure on me and no effort on her part. How can I politely tell her that it is her turn to visit me? Why does she not understand? She and her husband just got home from a trip 4 1/2 hours from their home for their anniversary, why can't they visit me?
2007-08-14 10:29:41 · 7 answers · asked by TennesseeGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would simply say.. nicely of course..
Mom we would love to see you and I miss you, I am just so busy with work and school and really don't see much free time or money to make the tripup there any time soon.. We would love to have you and "Bob" come up for the weekend though.. when would be good for y'all?
or this one:
Also since they have never been to your place something like.. I was really hoping y'all could come up here and visit this time.. I'de really like you to see the house/apt and show you around town..
I would call HER.. this way it looks like you really want to see her and miss her
If she starts to make you feel bad go to the top speech..
Either of these or both in combination would work well I think..
2007-08-14 10:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard, but can be dealt with. Take a weekend to have a "housewarming" party specifically for your mom. Create personal invitations and let her know you'd like her to come for about 4 days so you can show her the beautiful mountains of Denver and perhaps treat her to a pedicure....
Then - as she brings up you visiting, just mention that you are so busy with work and school, but you'd love to see her and if she would have free time to travel, perhaps that might work better.
Don't pressure her, but keep the invitation open and friendly.
2007-08-14 17:37:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my mother did that to me I would tell her after the way she acted when I was there, does she really think I want to visit again? Loose the chip and call me then and I'll see what I can do.
2007-08-14 18:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing you have already invited your mother to visit, and she simply hasn't. So, invite her again, tell her you have a guest all ready for her and her husband and that it would be so great if they could come see you. That it would mean the world to you, etc.
Good luck!
2007-08-14 17:37:38 · answer #4 · answered by leysarob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom is not happy with her life.... you don't have to cater to her, you have your own life now.... live it. keep intouch, send mail, chat on the phone but let her make the next move to visit.
2007-08-14 17:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by just me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel and if she visits, make it a good one.
2007-08-14 17:39:04 · answer #6 · answered by beachy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forward your question to her and tell her you love her
2007-08-14 17:38:08 · answer #7 · answered by potstirrer03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋