My Fiance & I were originally suppose to get married on Aug. 4 07' and I had cold feet & we cancelled our original date.
Everything is going great and since we rescheduled our Wedding for 9 mo's later but now my Folks are leary about helping financially. Keep in mind--they LOST NO MONEY BEFORE!!! All deposits carried over-luckily. What can I do to reassure them they don't have anything to be worried about! I know this is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm bummed they don't have enough faith me to realize it too.
Mature advice only. I'm hoping someone else has gone through this and can help me.
2007-08-14 09:28:22 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm 29 and he's 34-- sometimes in a relationship you have to go through things TO KNOW. We both KNOW now. I thank God we do...I never had so much certainty in my life.
2007-08-14 09:34:24 · update #1
First of all...I didn't EXPECT them to pay for anything. They offered & put down deposits. Quite honestly...I can't afford to maintain the deposits without their help. If it would've been all us I would've went a different route or would've have went with the pricey stuff they picked. My thing is why offer and pay a deposit and be funny about paying it? Makes me mad & extremely stressed.
2007-08-14 09:39:11 · update #2
They offered to pay for my dress, cake, decorator & shower
2007-08-14 09:40:14 · update #3
They're snow birds (we live in MI- they go to FL from 12/26- May) They won't be back until right around my shower & I'm getting married in May. :( This sucks. It's hard to prove to them this is going to happen when they're so far away. :(((
2007-08-14 09:42:23 · update #4
It's amazing how harsh people are being about this when people get married and divorced less then a yr. later-- I'M GLAD WE KNOW! I'd suggest everyone to do the same.
2007-08-14 09:45:08 · update #5
well if you ask me,I can tell how much you love him,and I bet you guys are perfect for each other!!!! your parents just half to understand how much you love him,you might of had cold feet before, but if your trying this again, that just means that your feelings are deep!!!! sure you guys might argue in the future......but I bet you anything you will stick together!!!! and after you say thous (I DO'S) I bet your parrents will relize that two!!!!! just remind them when they were ingaged they probaly ahd cold feet at first but they stuck togather didnt they!!! and when im afraid to do something and dont thinks it going to turn out right I just tell myself that ive only got one life to life so im going to live it to its fullest!!!and it allways works for me its your life not your parents so they should respect your choice even if they dont like it
LOVE
HALEY
p.s.
I hope you guys have a happy life togather
2007-08-14 09:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by HayHay 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that anyone should be worried about is you and your happiness.
Just tell them that at least you didn't waste all their money and then turn around and change your mind and get divorced less than a year later (a friend of mine just did that, sadly), and that since you and your fiance are still together, he stuck with you through your cold feet, and you with him, and the wedding is back on, that they have nothing to worry about.
And, if all the deposits carried over, is there still alot to be paid for? Maybe try to chip in a little more of your own money, if you can, just to show them that you are serious.
Good luck, happy wedding, and good for you for being 100% sure before making that commitment.
2007-08-14 16:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in their shoes. They were ready to shell out what I'm assuming was a significant amount of money, probably with no problem. Now they are concerned next time around they will not be able to get their deposits back. Maybe they think you shouldn't be marrying this person if you got such severe cold feet you canceled the ceremony.
Is there anyway you can pay for some, most, or all of the event yourself? Maybe if your parents see your willingness to pay on your own they will realize the seriousness of your commitment. As they say "money talks".
2007-08-14 16:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by historyhnyb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were very right to cancel the first time if you were having any doubts. If you have worked it out for yourself and between the two of you where your doubts are gone, then congrats to you!
I know you are hurt by your parents actions and comments now, & ultimately there may not be anything you can do. You can't control anyone else in this world, ya know?
If you have not been to any marital counseling together, though, I would! It is a great help to any couple! This might also show them you're serious.
Good luck to you!
2007-08-14 17:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by valschmal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I respect you for postponing if the time wasn't right for you. That sucks that your parents feel that way but maybe they got used to the idea of you not getting married to him while it was called off (like they were consoling you, trying to be there for you, etc. So they tried to point out why you are "better off this way" thinking it was what you wanted to hear. After awhile they started to believe it.
Anyway, one option is to legally get married now (sign all the legal documents) that way they know you are serious. Then have your real wedding in May.
goo luck with whatever you decide.
2007-08-14 18:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by az 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never been through this, but I do have a suggestion. If you and your fiance are okay with it get married before the wedding. A co-worker of mine did that, and was married months later. Maybe if you tell your parents that, they won't be afraid of you getting cold feet again.
2007-08-14 16:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by lil_rebell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are afraid that they are going to lose all their money if neither of you is sure of marriage by postponing. You have already gone throught the process of valitaing your feelings and resolved your issues, but your parents are now weary. Postponing the wedding will send anyone RED FLAGS and it's just natural that they are concerned about you and the large investment that they are making.
If I was you, I would have both of you talk to your parents and reassure them that you are commited and serious about marriage.
Good luck
2007-08-14 16:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and go your different route... who's to say its too late to try and do that? Try and get your money back and do it your self. Your parents only have as much faith your your relationship as you dsiplayed & because they aren't around they cant see it. I say just do you and dont worry about your parents. They are probably right ot doubt you because of your past actions but you have the faith in your own heart. Basically....why do you feel the need to prove anything to them just pay for it yourself and keep it moving.
2007-08-14 17:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by LOVE BEING A MOMMY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calling off the first wedding sent a message to them that you were uncertain and I am sure that is why they feel that way.
The only way to prove it is by actually going through with it next time and making it work.
2007-08-14 16:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Star 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This hasn't happened to me, but I think it may be tough to convince your parents. Tell them that if you weren't sure you wouldn't have resheduled the wedding. I also think it's important for you to know that you're sure. If you feel good about the marriage, your parents will see that in time. I really think it's going to take time. Spend lots of time with your parents and your fiance. They need time to see that you feel confident with your decision.
2007-08-14 16:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by modbride 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋