18 month old snatches and steals?

Question

My 18 month old daughter snatches and steals stuff from other kids and me! I've given her time outs and told her that its wrong. She's said "Okay" and then goes and does it again! The other day we were in Starbucks and she was wearing a baseball cap,I put her on the counter for one minute while I made a call and she put a tin of mints under her hat and I didn't find them until we got home! I went back and paid for them and then made her go to bed after dinner and she was mad. Today she snatched a pull toy away from her 8 week old sister and after I told her it was time for a time out, she started to cry and wouldn't stop crying until it was over. What should I do about her snatching and stealing problems? I don't want her to grow up to be a thief!

I do use a stroller, but at Starbucks I didn't have one with me and I was carrying her AND holding the baby carrier that held my sleeping 8 week old.

Answer 1

Don't worry, your toddler will not grow up to be a thief. She just isn't at the age yet where she understands that something that belongs to someone else does not also belong to her. Children this young see something they like, and take it. Not because she is majoring in petty theft, but because toddlers are egocentric. Here's a great poem about toddlers:

Toddler Property Laws~
If I like it - it's mine.
If it's in my hand - it's mine.
If I can take it from you - it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago - it's mine.
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If I'm doing or building something - all the pieces are mine.
If it looks just like mine - it is mine.
If I saw it first - it's mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down -
it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken - it's yours!

Toddlers are notorious for taking what isn't theirs... they have to be taught (and it will take lots of reminders) about what is "mine" "yours" and sharing items. So, don't fret, mom- she's just doing what toddlers do!

Answer 2

Why in the world weren't you watching her when you set her on a counter at Starbucks? There's hot coffee, she could fall, and she could knock their things over!

Why in the world would your 8 week-old have a pull toy? That's ridiculous!

Aside from those two comments, you should be watching your daughters very closely. When your older one takes something that doesn't belong to her, you need to tell her "NO," and help her put it back where she got it. You can then engage her in something that is acceptable. She's too young to really understand what she's doing is wrong or to learn from time-outs. Just keep reinforcing what behavior is okay and what isn't. As she gets older, she'll start to get it.

Good luck with your children.

Answer 3

She's not a thief-in-training. She's a toddler.

They do that.

1. She is not actually capable of seeing the world from a perspective other than her own. Therefore, it makes perfect sense to her: if she wants it, she takes it.

2. She is not actually capable of remembering all consequences and avoiding them from then on. She got in trouble for the mints, and her desire to take the toy from her sibling was a lot stronger than her memory that she got in trouble for taking something that doesn't belong to her. In fact, it's quite possible that while you see the resemblence in the two situations, she does not. In one, she was playing and put the mints in her hat. In the other, she wanted to play with the toy so she took it.

I'm not saying she can't or shouldn't be taught that she's NOT to take things, but I think you should step back and look at things realistically. She's not being abnormally theiving. She's being a normal, self-centered toddler.

Basically, dont' treat her like a criminal-in-training. Treat her like a 1-and-1/2 year old who can't figure out why she can't just take something if she wants it.

Time-outs, everytime she takes something that isn't hers. If she takes anything else from a store, especially, SHE has to be the one to hand it over. They'll understand that it happens, she definately isn't the first baby or child to take something. When you notice it, though, put it in her hand, hold the other hand, and walk her to a staff member, and instruct her to hand it over and say she's sorry.

My kids have had to do this exactly two times each. Now, while they haven't been broken of the habit of picking up stuff within the store, they put it down or hand it to a staff member before we walk out the door. For the time being, since she's so young, if you notice a pattern, like she fills her pockets, or puts it down her shirt, check the usual places every time before you leave. If she tried to sneak something out, and failed, she still has to give it back and apologize.

The same goes for when she takes things at home. Put her in an appropriate time out, after she hands it over and apologizes. Be consistant.

Of course she cries. That's what they do. It won't hurt her, just be consistant and make her finish the time-out, whether she cries or not. The point is to teach her not to take stuff, not to be HAPPY about it. Eventually, she'll not do it because it's wrong. For now, you just have to get her to stop, and her motivation will not be that it's wrong, it will be that she gets in trouble.

Answer 4

She's still just a toddler and so far - YOU have NOT taught her the differernce between right and wrong!
Time outs do NOT work - they only give the child time to sit and think about more stuff to do.
You need to step up to the plate and act like a parent.
Smack her hands and tell her "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't worry about her taking things from the her sister - the little one will get even one day................. My twin grand daughters were forever taking stuff from their baby sister.
When they did this - the little one would just give her an evil glare and go back to playing with other toys. One day, while I was visiting, the oldest twin again took something from her little sister. Well, the little sister, reached up - grabbed the oldest sister, began hitting her and took her toy back. The oldest twin immediately began yelling for help. My son, just sat there and told her "that's what you get for taking her toys away from her". From that day forward, she never took toys away from anyone ever again. Kids just have a way with dealing with their own problems .................

Answer 5

PLease, don't over react is antural thing for teddlers, they are all egocentric, they can't understand mine and yours, all is "mine" so just use a stroller to keep hern in control. Apologize with the other mothers and move on, there's nothing a mom didn't have seen and experience before when you talk about children's behaviors.

Answer 6

i find this hard to believe an 18 month old is too young to understand mine and stealing. try watching your kid and pop her hand and use a stroller