Me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago and. Lets just say hes not mature for his age. And when we broke up he had sex with another girl. He was my first and I still love him. We are trying the "friends" thing now and i dont know what to do??? I still have the urge to the stuff like when we were together!!!!! help!!!
2007-08-14 08:31:09 · 33 answers · asked by Ashley H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I wouldn't take him back, but being friends is okay. Never try the same relationship again unless you both truely love each other. Otherwise, it will end up the same.
2007-08-14 08:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Screamo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The friend thing will not work right now. It's only been a month. I know you love him and want him in your life. There is no reason why he can't be. But understand that you need time to heal. You need time to be apart from him so that you don't get any 'urges' while your with him.
Here is the classic scenario of what will happen if you if you act on those urges: You will probably hook up with him and start to get even more feelings for him. Then, one of the following 2 things are going to happen...
a) He will hook up with you for awhile, but because he is not your boyfriend anymore and is free to do what he wants, he may also be looking for another girl at the same time. If he finds one, you will get your feelings hurt again.
b) He will get back together with you and whatever the reason was that made you break up with him in the first place is still going to be there. You will just repeat the same mistake and get hurt in the same way.
My advice is to tell him you're not ready to be in friend terms with him just yet. Go out with your girlfriends, meet some new nice guys to spend time with and try your best to keep yourself separate from your ex until you feel like you can look him in the eye and not feel anything romantic for him. When that happens, you can probably have a great friendship!
You deserve someone who is mature! You deserve someone who will treat you right!
Lots of luck!
2007-08-14 08:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by Strawberry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when that person is your first. No matter what happens he will come up every now and then. How long ago after you broke up that he had sex with another girl also makes a big difference. If it wasn't too long after...and you yourself said he is immature, just let it go. If he was serious about you he wouldn't go and do that out of the blue.
Unless you know for a fact that he still has feelings for you, if theres any way to talk to him and confirm that, then just assume no and let it go. For one you can't be waiting on him. And two, again because he was your first...it will be difficult to get him off your mind at first.
Best wishes
2007-08-14 08:38:52 · answer #3 · answered by artsygal_cc86 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say forgive him.You broke up and you should move on.Just because you are friends, doesn't mean you can't do the same stuff you used to when you were dating.If you still love him later on after you have experimented with the "friends" thing, then talk to him about getting back together.I live with my dad and three older brothers,and they should be mature, but they aren't.No guy acts mature.There is no such thing.My oldest brother still watches Spongebob.Although, I watch it with him, but thats not the point.Still, I never have met a guy who is mature for his age.Just do whats in your heart.Nobody on here can tell you what to do, but they can help you make up your mind.
Good luck
Sparkles=D
2007-08-14 08:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by Thunder♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all..boys never mature. Some do, but most do not. Sorry. guys. Secondly, if he had relations with another girl right after he broke up with you....that is ALL he is interested in, anyway....from you and any other girl. MOVE ON! He sounds like a "player"...and you are TOO GOOD for that. The friend thing will not work either...once you have "done it"...you will keep on 'wanting to' with this jerk.
2007-08-14 08:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by MUMNY 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't listen to that guy who said it's your fault he had sex with some other girl because you broke up with him. Let it go...if he really cared that much about YOU and not SEX he would have been able to wait for you guys to sort things out. Forget the whole "let's just be friends" thing...it NEVER works. RESIST your urges and have more respect for yourself than that. Be a real woman and go find a real man.
2007-08-14 08:36:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just normal that we still have 'feel' for the past, especailly so when we did put our heart and soul in those things we did!
It's normal reaction! Just have to remember that's how life is, that's how so many touching love movies are made from. Not totally fiction but more based on true stories!
Memories are sweet as we can't bring back times. Leave it as they are.
Now you have some real love story to share with...
Cheers
2007-08-14 08:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK I'm only 15 and i dont rilly know alot about this kinda stuff and i dont know you either but me and my aunt are vary close she was dating this guy for 3 years he cheated on her during that time...she found out and forgave him...they got married...6 years later she found out he was still seeing other girls....once a cheater always a cheater....and it sounds like to me that if he had sex with another girl WHEN y'all broke up he was seeing her when y'all were together.....and any one that would disrespect you that much is not worth your time any way...
2007-08-14 08:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by sara 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the friends thing... that is for the people who are delusional enough to think that there emotions are controllable. The last thing you need to be concerned with is him or his life.
That is why sex in relationships makes thing complicated... the result is either we become desensitized to the intimacy of sex and are no longer hut by indiscretion (which we should be) or we are attached to a man who is worthless in the scope of life.
You should reevaluate your idea of relationships all together and pursue them differently from here on out.
2007-08-14 08:38:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're already breaking up and you haven't been together long, you're probably not meant for each other. There's other fish in the sea, you know...
Did he have sex with another girl after you broke up? How can you hold that against him?
2007-08-14 08:35:40 · answer #10 · answered by Steve-O 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋