I mean when we started to date I liked her a lot but now that I got to know her its changed. Yea, I know I should have waited to date her to find out who she really was. But now its a hassle to date her. When we talk on the phone we don't talk at all, I have to work hard to make a conversation and even harder to keep it going. Its like she dosen't even care about me. She also talks about her ex bf even tho he said he was going to beat my a**. I told her to stop and she got mad and said I didn't trust her. We aren't even going to the same school. I want to break up with her on the phone [I never see her.] What should I say so it won't haunt me for being a jerk?
2007-08-14 08:22:39 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its either the phone or a text message. She lives about a hour and a half drive from me. The only time we ever see each other is dates, and that wouldn't be for about a month.
2007-08-14 08:28:07 · update #1
Just do it. Tell her that you two are not clicking and you don't think you should be together anymore. Simple as that.
2007-08-14 08:27:13 · answer #1 · answered by Fly girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is being a jerk herself. She shouldn't be talking about her ex boyfriend to you. Also, when you are on the phone, she isn't making any effort to keep up a good conversation, which is soooo important because you don't see her often!
My advice is to just do it as nice and politely over the phone as you can. Tell her that while you still like her a lot, you think you would be better as friends. Don't list 100 things she did wrong. That can be hurtful. Instead, tell her that you don't see her often enough and that you find that you don't think you are romantically connecting with her. You won't seem like a jerk if you are polite.
Next time you start to like someone, take a little while and really get to know them as a friend before you jump into a relationship. It will work out much better.
2007-08-14 08:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by Strawberry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww.. You sound like a genuinely nice guy.. Cute. I would tell her exactly what you said here. Be honest.. Tell her that you don't want to hurt her.. but you feel like you are putting most of the effort into the relationship..and you have told her how you feel about her talking about her ex and she doesn't seem to care that it bothers you and still does it. How can you trust someone who doesn't regard your feelings? Talking to an ex and constantly talking about an ex.. are 2 different things. If you guys live too far away.. I would say talk to her on the phone.. but if you have an opportunity to speak to her face to face... then man up.. and do it. That's the best way to go.
2007-08-14 08:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you pretty much just said it. Be honest and let her know that you feel that you two don't have enough in common to even have a conversation, but make sure you do it politely. Also let her know the things about her that you like, because girls are pretty sensitive. One thing for sure is stick to what you say...don't call her up a week from now because you miss her too much...that is confusing for everyone. Just remember that when you do find the right person for you, you never have to work at a conversation, it just happens. Good luck!
2007-08-14 08:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Autumn H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit her down and have a serious conversation with her. You need to just let her know how you feel. I know thats what people always say, but it's the honest truth. Then if your willing, tell her you will try to work it out with her and let her know exactly what needs to be done and exactly whats on your mind. Of course if possible tell her in calming matter. I mean lets face it your not in a good situation so instead of being in one you should just end it ASAP. Also yo shouldn't feel so bad because if she is that shallow and still talking to her ex knowing that you don't like it then she doesn't respect you..... So keep that in mind and yo thing.
2007-08-14 08:40:43 · answer #5 · answered by MiLkY CoCoa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she obviously still has feeling for her ex anyways and it seems like it's just not going to work out even though you've tried. If you want to break up, then breakup with her, but I don't think it's right to do it over the phone. You should do it person to person. Not sure how long you;ve been dating or how old you are but I think she deserves to be told to her face. I just read what you added, if you can't do it face to face, then you are a jerk and you are trying to be shady about it.
2007-08-14 08:29:42 · answer #6 · answered by sun day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing with dating is, you like a person before hand, but truly get to know them while dating..you should just tell her the truth, that over time your feelings have changed and that you want to be friends not dating relationship friends. truth is the best way..tell her that its hard sometimes to keep a conversation going on both ends, and that you are a bit upset when she talks about her ex bf, and that if she has kept up with him, even after he said he was gonna beat your butt, that itself is disrespectful to you as a person. Tell her everything, everything inside of the truth.
2007-08-14 08:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by roses_are_black 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell her that you want to end it. Just be calm and don't say mean things or get caught up. Then you can be ok with yourself if you stick to the fact that you are breaking if off and not trying to beat her down. The phone would be better than an email or in person. GOOD LUCK
2007-08-14 08:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by aleynam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well long distance relationships have a hard way of working out and the distance only makes it worse, you should try to have a nice calm conversation with her on the phone and dont over react if she gets angry, if she starts to get angry do not tell her to calm down, but she might be getting frustrated on that she may not have had her chance to say anything, so make sure the conversation stays level and you part on good terms, if she doesnt cooperate then there is no point to have to be friends w/ some1 like that, she may still have feelings for her ex if she talks about him so much most girls bash their ex boyfriends because they still have feelings for them.
2007-08-14 08:34:06 · answer #9 · answered by Nate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest to her. On your next tel conversation, tell her that you feel that both of you have grown apart, that you want her to be happy and that you don't feel that she is happy with you.
Also tell her that she deserves someone who is there for her every day and that the distance between both of ya is not helping. That all of this is what convinced you that the best decision for u both is to break up as a couple, but that if she wants that you can still be friends.
The other alternative is to go with the classic "I need some time for my self alone to think".
2007-08-14 08:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by oxalisb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it on the phone. Be nice about it. Give her credit for being a great girl and for being true to you (give the benefit of the doubt). Tell her school is getting more demanding and you don't have as much time for her as you feel she deserves. Tell her you feel she deserves a chance to find a man who can give her the attention she deserves. Send her a thank you card by snail mail. Have it say something like Thanks for being there whenever I needed you. Listen to whatever she has to say, acknowledge it and if he cries, tell her you're sorry she feels hurt, that you wanted to make life better for her, to free her for a better life, since yours is becoming so hectic that she'd wind up being alone most of the time. Tell her you care deeply about her welfare and that you want to always be her friend.
Best wishes. You sound like a sweet guy.
2007-08-14 08:35:32 · answer #11 · answered by rainbeauclown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋