I tried to get my bf to cry and he got mad at me who was right / worng?

Question

My bf's dog died the other day. I mean hes had this dog in his life since he was 10 and hes 21 now. His whole family was upset. He was a little to. He was just quiet though for a day or two. He never cried! I met the dog once and I cried. So I got a home video from his little sister of him and the dog when he was little. I played it in front of him and he was like what are you doing? And I was like dont you miss your dog! You should be crying. Why arent you crying? He got mad and was like what the hell why do you want me to cry. Then I showed him some pictures and he got mad and was like I'll talk to you later when you get this sick idea out of your head and he left me! I was always told that once your man cries in front of you that you know hes the one. So thats why I was pushing so hard. Know he was taught that crying shows weakness and he told me that he hasnt cried since he was like 8 or 9. Should I be trying to get him to cry or am I wrong? I did feel bad.

Do you think he cried after he left? Cause he looked kinda upset. But then why couldnt he cry in front of me? Should I just drop this? I know its not healthy to never cry. I just want to help him out. What should I do?

Answer 1

Sista, sista you can't force your man to cry. However men need to cry sometimes. These men want to act all tough and what they are really doing is putting their health in jeopardy due to stress building up. He might have cried but not in front of you. But the next time he said something like "Men should not cry", tell him that in the Bible Jesus has wept. So if He, Our Savior, has wept' He's a man, so it is okay for you to cry. And that stuff about if a man cries in front of you that he's the one, that is crazy. However he is probably opening up to you if he does break down and cry when he needs you be comfort him.
I hope you have some luck. Just don't make the man cry. lol

Answer 2

No way... Just because a man happens to cry in front of U does not mean he is the ONE!

If he doesn't cry then that's him.. He's stronger than most people. And he got mad at U because U apparently came out ur face and literally told him he must cry because his dog died! He felt forced and by U showing him pictures only irritated him more.

Ur forcing him to perform an act he doesn't want to!

One day he will.... But the dog dieing was not the day.

Answer 3

Geez why did you do that it was really cruel. He is totally right just leave him to deal with things his own way! You really shouldn't have done that and it was an immature thing to do. Just because you try and force a guy to cry infront of you doesn't mean you should do it when he is most vunerable and it doesn't mean "he is the one".
Show a little respect next time and give someone some space. It was rather sick as well to show him that. He would have been really upset inside just quiet. Crying doesn't achieve much just let him deal with things his own way and don't do anything sick like that again
I'd be suprised if he takes you back because I wouldn't!

Answer 4

Everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way. You can't force someone to cry and you're only going to aggravate him and push him away. You're making him feel like he's inferior because he's not grieving the way YOU feel is the "correct" way. Not everyone is a crier. Just because he didn't cry doesn't mean he wasn't upset or grieving...you simply interpreted that way. Stop pushing because the next time something horrible happens, he's not going to come to you for support or comfort or even share it with you for fear of you starting your tirade again.
And someone crying in front of you is not a reliable gauge that he's the one. What if there was a guy who cried all the time at everything.....if he cried in front of you he's the one??????

Answer 5

You are insane. What the hell? Why should this guy express a very personal emotional response for someone only interested in viewing it to realize that he's the "one"? Doesn't seem like you give two-craps about the fact that his dog died, as long as he cries about it so you can be sure he's "one".

Again, you are insane. Do you believe everything everyone tells you? Just because a guy doesn't cry in front of you doesn't necessarily mean he's a cad. Or that he's NOT the one. You need to grow up and realize relationships are not built on trite, romantic advice you get from your less-than-informed friends, strangers on Yahoo! Answers, or the pages of "Mademoiselle".

I don't blame your boyfriend for ditching you. You made a travesty of his tragedy and a mockery of his grief. You should be ashamed of your selfishness, confess your inane obssession and why you were so intent on having him play into it, and apologize for being so small-minded.

Answer 6

Wow, I know a guy is the right one because his left middle toe is bigger than the one on the right! Not crying infront of his gf...who told you that crap to go off of? There is alot more to a guy that would tell you that he is the one than if he is able to cry in front of you or not, some guys want to be tough and don't like to cry--I mean I'm a girl and I don't cry in front of my bf. That was way out of line, and if I were your boy friend I would have dumped you for that because that really doesn't show how right of a person you are for him.

Answer 7

aww im sorry the dog died. Some guys just don't cry that much. And if they do that means something very very horrible happened. Girls I think are a little more emotional to this kinda stuff than guys are. I don't think Ive seen to many guys cry. Im sure he was hurt but he maybe just didn't want to dwell on the subject because it would make him more upset. I would apologize to him some how and tell him your sorry for doing that. good luck :)

Answer 8

Yeah I don't think you handled it the right way, especially the part of his dog. You need to talk to him, making a guy cry is not the way of knowing he is the one. I think you need to talk to him and apologize and tell him why you did it, I think he will understand. Just let him know that you will always be there for him, and if he ever needs a shoulder to cry on you will be right next to him, but don't try and make him cry. That is just not right, I'm sure he is going through enough right now (the dog) don't make it any worse. Best wishes and hope I helped.

Answer 9

Everybody has to grieve in his or her own way. I think it was very mean of you to try to make him cry. Were you "testing" him to see if he had emotions, or what? He very well may cry when he is alone. Guys don't always easily show their emotions in public because in their eyes it's like showing their weakness. And YOU are one of the main people he feels the need to be strong for. I don't really think there's anything to that "if a guy cries in front of you" statement, but if it is, it has to happen naturally and not be forced on them.

Yes, I think you were wrong to do that. Very wrong!

Answer 10

Hopefully an answer from a guy will help you.

I handle sadness/trauma the same way as your BF does. I don't cry. It doesn't mean we're not sad, we just handle it differently. I don't like to cry, it IS a sign of weakness in men.
I'm not saying this because I'm a male, but I believe you were wrong. When I just keep quiet for a few days, I'm reflecting over it almost constantly. After a while, I can finally let it go. After that, I don't want to think about it. If someone brings it up, it's definitely a sore subject. Over time, it'll be okay to think and talk about. I don't know who told you that crap about the guy being able to cry being the one, but that's just what it is -- crap. Don't let something so dumb mess with a relationship. I suggest you apologize...apologizing goes a long way, even if you're mad at someone. If he wants to talk about it with you, let him. If someone keeps pushing something with me, though, I won't talk about it. Someone who seems to be comfortable with letting me talk about it, and I'm comfortable around is who I'll eventually vent to. But not right away, and not on a cue or schedule. I might cry, but not in front of my girlfriend. We just want to be tough for our ladies...let him handle it how he wishes and don't push it.

I hope everything works out.