i have been married to her for 10 yrs, we have 2 kids together.we divorced a yr and a half ago. but remaind friends.she just came out of a hard breakup, but i still have very strong feelings for her, but i dont think she feels anything right now. she is not interested in dating me or anyone for that matter. Help what to do, I want to show her how a man can treat a woman, but i want the chance to do it right this time, what to do ????????
2007-08-14 05:58:34 · 7 answers · asked by music4life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your former wife obviously doesn't want to be with you right now. She's not interested. She's made that very clear. So as much as it hurts, and I know it does, you have to respect her decision. You say, you want to show her how a man can treat a woman and want the chance to do it right this time. You should have thought about that when the two of you were still together. Marriage spelled commitment. Marriage is the ultimate and final bond that a couple would commit themselves to for the rest of their lives.
Let's talk about you for a moment. You're still in love with the mother of your kids, and are having a hard time getting over her and at the same time getting her back. It's no accident that you're in this situation, you asked for it. Please use this time alone to do some serious emotional work on yourself. You're acting out a painful pattern, and even though you believe your troubles would be over if only your wife would come back, that's not the answer. You need to heal that insecure little boy inside you that doesn't believe he's lovable and thinks he has to work really hard to get his wife back to care about him. Don't make your goal getting her back---make it getting yourself back.
Keep this in mind: Men do take their strength from the woman they love.
2007-08-14 06:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by ravishingV 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reflect on what it was that lead to your divorce in the first place and seek to iron it out a little later on down the road when she's emotionally ready to entertain that sort of conversation with you. For now however, you need to be a tower of support for her and try not to push the whole dating issue. Help her to heal emotionally by listening attentively to all she has to say, offer to spend quality time with her just rebuilding your relationship and getting to rediscover each other. The closer you 2 get, the more likely she'll be receptive to what you want to say. Let her know that as much as she moved on, you never really did, and give her reasons why.
From the looks of it, I'd say that she really was/is your true love, hence the reason you haven't been able to move on. What's more, you 2 share children together, and that's the most precious gift any two ppl could possess because they're priceless and a result of the love and passion you two once shared. So if for no other reason, your children should be a driving force towards getting her back. But it's going to take time and effort, so you need to be patient and sincere, honest and kind, caring and sensitive, charming and humorous etc. but don't try to come on too strong. You seem to know and read her quite well and that's understandable (after all, you did share a life together), so just be patient and try to be as accommodating as possible because she needs it.
2007-08-14 16:01:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember that you are divorced for a reason, yes it is typical to look back on all of the mistakes, but the point remains is that you and she got a divorce for a reason, sometimes getting back together doesn't make the issues from the first time go away. When you look at each other you are going to be constantly reminded of why you got a divorce in the first place. And you are still newly divorced so it is going to take some time for you and your ex's wounds to heal. She is still hurting as well. It is not good to start dating when the divorce is so new, most of the time you are dating on the rebound and will get hurt, or you will hurt someone, take the time to think, refocus, and move on, continue to be friends of course because you have children. But again you have to remember what led to the divorce in the first place.
2007-08-14 13:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by pookster4262 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!! Just be her friend for now. First, you don't want to be the rebound. Second, she might think you are trying to take advantage of her vulnerability. Just maintain the same relationship that you have now. Give it at least 6 months and let her come to you. Maybe at that point you can make your intentions known. Feel it out, but be subtle. If you need advice on subtle, many men do, ask your sister, another good female friend, etc.
2007-08-14 13:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tara C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha..YEAH RIGHT....Who told you to say that?
You can't make anyone love nor see something in you that's not...You just have to be all you can be for yourself and most likely you'll be noticed.....
The more you complain the less you learn...get your foot out your mouth and just be a man, women notice when your a man and or a loser...
2007-08-14 13:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her and when she starts to heal, do all of the things you should have done the first time.
Listen to the words from her heart and respond. Good luck!
2007-08-14 13:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by thesweetestgift 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her drunk...bomp chicka bomp bomp
2007-08-14 13:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by fisher_tatiana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋