Let's say your all in the moment and about to have sex...but you know that you should find out if the guy is clean or not first. How can you find out if he has an STD without ruining the moment or offending him?
2007-08-14 05:05:59 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1) All guys will lie to have sex with you, so asking is pointless.
2) He should be wearing a condom anyway.
3) If you're that worried about it, you probably shouldn't have sex with him.
2007-08-14 05:08:58 · answer #1 · answered by Expat Mike 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Condoms protect against a lot of things, but not everything. I'm assuming from your suspicions that he might have one, that you already know a great deal about his sexual history. Honestly, unless he has a test done there's really no way to be sure. Most people don't have a clue they have it until much later, as some of the truly nasty STDs don't show symptoms until a very late stage. Often by the time symptoms do show up you're probably already sterile.
I'm not trying to freak you out here hun, but the really bad STDs can and do cause a woman to be infertile, whereas it might only result in a mild irritation for men. Assuming you know something of his sexual history, can't you just ask him to be tested? You don't have to tell him you think it's because he has one, tell him you want both of you to be tested, just to be sure. If he's not willing to get tested, I wouldn't go there.
2007-08-14 05:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use a condom. If he pulls some crap about only liking it bare back, then you let him know that you aren't ready to carry around anything that he may have picked up before he met you. Plus, you don't want a baby right now. Let him know that it's his only option and that you would hope he would be honest and up front about any STDs he know he has. You can tell him the last time you've been tested as well so you are both on the same page.
2007-08-14 05:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You ask BEFORE you're in the moment (ideally), otherwise you just go ahead and ruin the moment and find out. The moment will come back if he's not offended, and if he is then he's not someone you should be playing with anyway.
Don't even consider putting your life/health at risk because you don't want to 'offend' someone. People who aren't mature enough to discuss being disease free and using birth control, have no business having sex. Period.
2007-08-14 05:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
By law the person has to tell you if they have any stds. There was a man in Windsor Ontario or Detroite Michigan I don't remember which it was but he infected over 100 women with aids and he's doing jail time now.
If you can't even talk to the person about sex, stds, birth control then you're not mature enough to be having sex AND you don't care enough about that person to have sex.
2007-08-14 05:12:18 · answer #5 · answered by Music 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Asking a guy if he has a STD when he's trying to have sex with you is ,, well,, how do I put this?? Ahhhh..... Just plain stupid!!!! First of all most people with STDs don't know they have one. Second if he knew he had one and cared about spreading it to you he would already be going for the condom. If knows he has it, and isn't getting a condom to protect you, you think he cares about lying to you? He's about ready to knowingly infect you with a disease. How hard do you think it is for him to go "No baby I'm clean. You can trust me". Don't trust him either way, make him wear a condom.
2007-08-14 05:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by Heath W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all....who is to say that guy will tell the truth... My thing is when something new start the best thing to do is to go together to get checked...that way you two both know your status. Other than that there is no way to asking with ruinning the moment. If he gets offended then oh well.. you have the right to know.
2007-08-14 05:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by jennisea04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think you are mature enough to even think about having sex, you should be mature enough to talk about it with your boyfriend/girlfriend AND you should be smart enough to use a condom!
BUT condoms do NOT protect against all STD's, because they are not 100% and there is the possibility of them breaking/ripping, or slipping off. Also, there are some STD's, such as herpes that you can still get by close skin to skin contact.
The only 100% way to be safe is abstinece OR talking about it! If you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't have sex!!!
2007-08-14 05:13:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are, if he wants to sleep with you, he won't tell you the truth anyway even if you did ask him. The safest way (apart from just NOT sleeping with him - how nice can he be anyway if you think he's got an STD?? Why would you even want to sleep with him?!) is to make sure you use protection. Whether you think someone's got an STD or not you should use a condom. You can't tell anything by looking at someone.
2007-08-14 05:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if your in the "moment" chances are if you ask he will say " yeah of course im clean" you should bring it up before then and if you are going to take the relationship to that level you should both go get checked. Even if you know you are clean it will ease his mind about him going. many STD's are only treatable not cureable so find out first for your own sake.
2007-08-14 05:10:21 · answer #10 · answered by Kris D 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
BEFORE you even get CLOSE to getting "lost in the moment" you two should have already had a serious talk about cleanliness...
If this guys' mature enough to have sex, he should be mature enough to have a serious talk with you about being safe against potential diseases because it's not fair for either of you to go into things un-aware of what the other may/may not have.
It's not offensive if you're being smart and responsible!
2007-08-14 05:16:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋