What is marriage considered in the bible?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have recently decided to devote our lives to christianity. Every time we have physical contact, its out of love. How could this be wrong? We have discussed whether to wait till marriage, or if it is still right to God if its out of love? So what was considered marriage to the bible? Did they still have legal documentation of marriage back then, or was it just when two people loved on another and devoted their lives?

We want to wait until we are done with college/education

Answer 1

The amount of mis-information in the answers given so far is really nausiating.

When God brought Adam and Eve together they were married by God. They were married as soon as God created Eve, but that was a very special, not to be repeated event.

When Rebeccah was brought to Isacc, we must remember that the only civilization there was Isaac and his father, Abraham, his mother Sarah and some servants.

There were nomadic sheep ranchers.

So Isaac took Rebeccah into his tent and she became his wife.

In that society, having sex meant you were married.

That's not how our society worked.

In the time of Mary and Joseph, marriage began as a betrothal which was essential a contract be Mary's Daddy and Joseph's Daddy, which the young couple also had to consent to.

At that point there was a public legally binding contract.

All the men in town were told by a young couple's betrothal, that they were now bethrothed. This gave them the right to live together and have sex.

In Jesus time, the young man after betrothal went back home and worked on preparing a place for he and his new bride to live, which often took a year.

Then the bridegroom's family would prepare a feast and the bridegroom, would go and get his bride, with any advance warning or notice.

Instead of a wedding in a synogogue as we would see it today, the bridegroom and his friends would have a processional through the town and when people would see them they would start shouting to the neighbors.

So, often the bride would have 30 minutes or an hour's warning so she could quickly bathe and get ready for her bridegroom and like today, if she wasn't quite ready, her bridegroom would have to wait in the street a few minutes until she was ready.

Then they would go quite publicly to the bridegrooms home and the wedding feast which was being prepared and the whole town would join them for what we today would call a wedding reception.

There wasn't a need for a wedding license since the contract had been publicaly signed at the betrothal which is what we call getting egnaged.

While couples in the time of Jesus had the right to have sex, they were expected to be very public about when the girl moved in with the guy and a big party was held, which we can read about in John chapter the wedding feast in Cana.

In today's socieity, there is no legally binding contract at the engagement, we do the contract in the form of a wedding license which must be attested too by a Judge, Public Office or a member of the Clergy.

The license must also be signed by the couple when they apply for the license and again on the date of their wedding. Two witnesses must also sign the wedding license in addition to the Pastor, and the couple.

So that's the difference.

Today we do the legal paperwork at the wedding.

2,000 years ago they did the paperwork at the engagement.

If a betrothed couple decided not to get married, they still had to go thru a divorce just like married couples do today.

Matthew one says this:

18This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. 19Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

Therefore I'd suggest you wait to have sexual contact until after you are married, complete with marriage license and a big party telling your family and friends that as of right then you were starting your lives together as a married couple.

Pastor Art

Edit: I'm glad to see several much better answers showed up as I was composing the above.

Answer 2

Women were not independent in biblical times. A father would be responsible for his unmarried daughter until another man took her as his wife. This was essentially a financial transaction where the father would collect a dowry from a male suitor. The woman had little say in who she would marry; the concept of female consent is unknown in ancient Jewish culture. It was of utmost importance that a woman remain a virgin until marriage so that there would be no doubt about the paternity of children. This is why the penalties for adultery were so harsh by modern standards. Premarital sex with an unmarried woman would've been a property crime akin to vandalism for which "You break it, you buy it" applies.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 KJV: If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Answer 3

The act of sex constitutes marriage in the Bible, the joining of two into "one flesh". Civil and religious ceremonies play no part in how God views the relationship. That's why God often refers to people as "adulterers and adultresses". Isaac and Jacob had minor "civil" ceremonies, but most Biblical marriages have little acknowledgement of ceremony, if any.

There's a lot of cross referencing that must be done in the Scripture itself to "prove" the point, but most people aren't willing to do the work.

Answer 4

Eph 5:22-33 answers this in the truth of God 's word for you and Hebrews 13:4 Exodus 20:14 are useful as well.

Answer 5

My parents lived together before they were saved. He still lived in the same house but he slept on the couch. A few weeks later my mom got saved. Then they moved out from each other. They got married a several months later without having any physical contact with each other. Even though they loved each other, they loved God more and His Word. They understood that expressing their love to each other was "in God's eyes" fornication. This all depends upon you and your boyfriend if you really, really want to do what is right. If it is true love get married to each other and the Lord will bless your marriage.

Answer 6

Why not just get married? If you love each other, why wait to get married? Marriage was a legal, social and religious contract then, just as it is now.

What are your reasons for not getting married now? Too young/then you are too young for sex; want to afford a bigger wedding/ it's not about the wedding it's about the marriage; don't know if they are the right one/if they are not right for marriage they are not right for sex.

Answer 7

Define marriage. In Genesis, it says that Isaac took Rebekah into his tent, and she became his wife. That was the whole complete "wedding", it was not a public affair, it was done in private.

We have cultural things that FORCE us to be engaged, council with whoever, have a ceremony, sign papers, get a hotel, etc. But it should be simpler, according to the Bible.

Go out in the woods together and hold your hands up and say, "Jesus, we're married now", and get on with your lives together. And congratulations to both of you!

Answer 8

Marriage Is a vow before God a commitment of man and a woman to be joined together and made one. We now are under government laws and the Bible teaches to follow these so long as they do not disagree with God. A man and woman who vow before God to be joined and to be as one are married and to fully be married in the eyes of God we should follow the law of the land. We see the example of marriage is Adam and Eve who were made one flesh.

Answer 9

Marriage in the Bible is a public commitment for life. The Church witnesses the public commitment. Church members are available to counsel and encourage. Marriage is NOT a private affair between two consenting adults!

Answer 10

you are only kidding yourself if you say you are having physical contact out of love. It is lust. As a Christian, you should know that your body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit. Honor God, your boyfriend, and yourself, by getting married in a Church, and consecrate your lives to God and to one another.

Marriage is when a man and woman, become one. Jesus said that no one should separate that which God has joined together.