I feel like I have just been destroyed 7 years and just like that it is now over. He says it is my fault that I smothered him. But I think I had the right to get angry I'm 27 he is 30 why did he need to go out with all single guys everyother weekend till 5 am? Sorry and I dont know this has just hut me so hard that I don't know what to do???? He told me he found someone else who workes with him that he just wants to have sex with and told me that at least he beoke up with me before he slept with her ! Am I wrong here or what.
2007-08-14 04:38:59 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is one of those things you have to live with. All you have to do is regroup and recoup yourself and let things slide. Whatever happens, happens for good. You take it from me.Healing in your case might take a long time. But in your later life you will have no regrets for leaving him, should that happen. Think positively, and have a better opinion about yourself.
2007-08-18 02:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by Ishan26 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. What a drag. Investing so much time in a person to have them leave you for casual sex. The reality is that if you were 20 and he was 23 when you got together, you were both a little to young. Doesn't mean you did any thing wrong. Just means that people (for what ever reason) start to wonder what they are missing.
The other reality (and I'm sorry to tell you) is that when some one (man or woman) says they want to sleep with some one else, they all ready are. Assume he has been sleeping around and get check out by the doctor just in case he brought home any souvenir's.
I wish you all the best. This too shall pass.
2007-08-14 04:54:36 · answer #2 · answered by Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple. You married a jerk. He manipulated you, played on your emotions, and messed with your psyche so he could get away with acting like he was still 21 for the rest of his life (I strongly disagree with the people who think that a 30 year old needs to party and act like a child), while still having a girl at home to do his housework. The result was that your self esteem is damaged, and that is why you still love him. BUT... you will be much better off getting away from this retard and repairing your life. Cut off contact with him. Keep yourself busy. Hang out with YOUR friends. Have some fun. Get some exercise. Then give it some time. I also highly recommend discussing this with your doctor and getting referred to a counselor. It will really help you get back on your feet again so that you can forget this sorry excuse for a man and find yourself someone more suitable and understanding. You deserve better, and you will find it if you give yourself a chance. Good luck!
p.s. 7 years if a long time. If you share property, have children, or anything of the sort, I highly recommend discussing it with an attorney.
2007-08-14 04:46:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gonna hurt for a long time. But it's obvious he just wanted a toy. A guy like that deserves no love. He doesn't want to put any effort in his relationships, or work for it. I had a boyfriend like him once. They eventually try to come crawling back, don't fall for it. It was 4 years of waste. Why didn't I see it sooner! I'm 25 now, and wiser. And it's not a crime for smothering a person you care about with love! It's a crime on his behalf that he went looking before breaking up! That shows his weakness, he didn't want to break up, in case the girl said no, then he'd be left empty-handed! He's weak! He can't stand to be alone, so either way, you would have been used because your his leftover to fall on! Throw away everything you have that reminds you of him! Trust me, it helps with healing. Leaving all that negative crap around you will make it hard to let go. And I hope he wasn't living off of you! Cause that makes him a bigger loser yet! Men his age should have the abilities to live on their own, as do we women! Just pick up those broken pieces of your heart, and tape it back together, and throw out all that negative stuff, so that you have more thoughts towards the future, and being more careful about your choices in life. The only reason you still have feelings for him is because you've been together for so long. 7 years and not tied the knot, is a man not commited to commiting! Don't waste any more time with a man past 2 years! If he hasn't fallen for you by then, he probably will just keep you around until he can find a replacement. Don't be 'arm candy' for any man!! It will hurt until you find a better man. There are still Knight's in Shining Armor out there! I should know I finally found one! We have been together for 6 years now, and been married since a year ago. But were engaged since 2 months after he met me! We just been saving up for our wedding day. And we're still happy, even with me being pregnant with baby #3! When you find the man, he won't be perfect. But he'll have all the qualities you wanted in him. And if you still need help, God was a good start for me. I prayed for his help to help me heal, and asked him to help me find the man of my dreams, and he did. You don't have to go to church to ask God. He's always waiting for us to ask for his help.
2007-08-14 05:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by the_ghostfairy_returns 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He clearly doesn't love you anymore -- if he ever did, that is. You're soooo better off without him!!! Be thankful to have got rid of such an as*hole...... let him have his co-worker in bed, and we'll see how long it lasts....... and sooner or later he'll realize what he traded for a one-night stand, but then it'll be too late. You really have to be thankful for not having such a jerk in your life anymore. I know 7 years is a long time, but if the relationship wasn't making you happy anymore, why keep it only for the sake of "saving" something that took you such a long time to build...? Everything that is not useful/helpful should be thrown away! Be happy and move on with your life, you will find someone so much better than him.....
2007-08-14 04:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. But, he doesn't seem to deserve you. If he thinks kindness and affection is "smothering" him then he needs to only be active at the body level. like he says he wants to do. Some people are not mature enough for mental and emotional involvement. Let him go. He's likely to get into trouble in the work place for sleeping with a coworker!
Dump him and don't look back. Get someone who deserves you. He doesn't. Best of luck. I truly hope you find happiness.
And -- don't listen to the other person who said "if you love him it won't matter who he slept with" . That's dumb. If he's leaving a long term relationship just to sleep with some girl, he doesn't deserve your love. Don't let him blame you that you did this and that. It's not your fault he's a dog.
2007-08-14 04:45:16 · answer #6 · answered by supergirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a lesson in this situation and learn from it. Men do not like to be kept on a leash and there is no bigger turn off than a possesive jealous person. Men want a supportive partner, not a mother. Just because you are a couple does not mean you are joined at the hip. Having seperate friends and doing things on your own is healthy for a relationship, and if you don't trust your partner, you shouldn't be with them.
Instead of giving him grief about hanging out with his friends, give him reason to make him want to come back to you.
If you don't change your behavior you'll be sabotaging any relationship you have in the future.
2007-08-14 04:49:39 · answer #7 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He not looking for a relationship, he wants to slept around and be single, that's probably why he's been going out w/ them till 5am. Girl, please he is immature 30yr. old and has no consideration for ur feelings. You said 7 yrs. and he just up and left like that? Wow u should be glad he's gone cuz he has no respect for himself or you. He did u a favor, u may not see it now but in time u will. You can find someone else, it might take time but u will. Don't be so hard on urself u did nothing wrong. Now its time for u to be the bigger & better person and keep it movin and don't turn back, u deserve better!!!
2007-08-14 04:49:40 · answer #8 · answered by Sunnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why Do I Love Him
2016-10-02 23:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blah.... the finding another person at work is the worst. Its hard to compete against them, they see him 40 hours a week. From my experience, hes throwing your 7 years away. Him staying out till 5 am every weekend is just imature on his part, especially being 30 years old. Its cool once a month to go out drinking hard with your friends late, but not on a regular basis when your involved. Being worried about him isn't smothering him, its a common human reaction to get paranoid when your mate is out at all hours of the night. Theres too many unknowns in those hours. The way he is dumping you suggests that he might of cheated on you in the past; especially if hes willing to get rid of you with some fling from work. My opinon is try to get over him, i know it will be hard, but it will be for your best. It will not be easy. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-08-14 04:51:29 · answer #10 · answered by Chicane 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋