I just cut myself?

Question

For the first time. But I wasn't thinking about my emotional pain (it's there, though) but I was staring at the side of my wrist and was overwhelmed with the urge to see blood there. I used a dull swiss army knife. But I didn't cut to feel something- I cut because I wanted to see the blood. What is wrong with me?

Answer 1

Not everyone who cuts does so in times of specific emotional upheaval. In the past, when I've cut (more like scratched really, I typically just break the upper layers of skin by dragging the tip of a dull knife over the same spot over and over, or in parallel lines), it was exactly the same as you describe. It wasn't to express pain I couldn't, and it wasn't to feel pain when I felt numb, it was more like a fixation on the physical presence of the cuts (for me, that's especially on my palms). It doesn't ease any pain for me, but I do enjoy looking at it afterwards.

These impulses to cut aren't that much different than more emotional cutting triggers though. Like others have said, it really is a sign of underlying issues... ones you should talk to your doctor about and ask about seeing a therapist for. Whether it's stress or anxiety or mental illness or selfesteem, it's obviously interupting your life. Don't let it slide, take care of it, and resist the urges if you can... even if you're being careful, you can still seriously harm yourself with even the dullest of knives. Furthermore, the more you deal with issues this way, the more hooked you become. Eventually you could train yourself to deal with all of your problems in this way, and it's not hard to see how that could get out of control.

As always, if you feel like you might seriously hurt yourself, don't hesitate to get medical help right away.

Good luck, and take care.

Answer 2

oh god PLEASE don't start this - get rid of the knife! you will seriously regret starting this. you WILL get addicted and you WILL get scarred (especially if the knife is dull) don't get yourself into this horrible cycle - it's a slippery, downward slope - i fell and i'm still falling, three years later. trust me, you need to stop NOW, before it takes a hold of you. make this your first and LAST time. please.

you did this to see the blood, and probably to feel something, to relieve numbness, as you said you weren't thinking of your emotional pain. instead of cutting to do that, get some red food colouring or fake blood from a joke shop, draw on your wrist with red pen, then apply the 'blood', and it should make you feel better. or just use red pen on it's own. or paint on your wrist with red paint. whatever you do, don't cut, as the endorphins released get addictive, and it's so hard to stop. really, you need to get professional help from a doctor, psychiatrist or a councellor, so that you can get help for the emotional pain, and help before you start to do serious damage to yourself.

email me if you want to talk about it.
Stay strong, stay safe.

Answer 3

I cut too but i wont cut deep. I like the taste of blood though, i had a nosebleed once and swallowed a whole lot, you say the sight of it is like an overwhelming urge, for me the taste is. You need to stop now or else you will get addicted and find it very difficult to stop. you need to talk to your parents about it or something or you could e-mail the samaritans at [e-mail] or go to the site for phone numbers and stuff, they helped me.

Answer 4

Nothing is wrong with you. Cutting yourself is merely an unhealthy coping mechanism; the desire to see blood, the pain and seeing blood distracts you from what's really bothering you. Sometimes it's a symptom of an underlying psychological disorder, but it doesn't have to be.

I wouldn't suggest doing it again. I have hundreds of scars because I kept doing it. Now I can't even wear a tshirt without attracting attention or people assuming that I'm crazy. It's just dumb.

Eventually you are going to have to face what's bothering you, whether it be depression or something else. You can't run from it forever and when you do figure it out and treat your problems for what they are, instead of calling yourself a 'cutter' or thinking that cutting is a problem that stands on it's own, you'll be a lot more at peace with yourself.

EDIT: Of course, some people simply find themselves sexually excited when it comes to pain and cutting. If you're just doing it as a form of masturbation, have fun, but be safe!

Answer 5

Cutting is normally a sign of emotional distress and depression. If left untreated, depression and other conditions can lead to poor health and suicide. It's best to talk to a counselor about what is going on in your life. There are also some medication to help with depression and have proven very helpful for most people. But please talk to someone, this is an unsafe thing to do.

Answer 6

The sight of blood decreases the intensitiy of the irritation (or eases the irritation) you feel subconsciously (about anything, or nothing).

Find out what is making you do that and find a solution. Eventually you will stop it but you might regret the scars... Believe me, there will be scars.

Answer 7

I have exactly the same. I self-harm to see blood, not to cause pain. I can't explain it, but there's nothing unusual about cutting to see blood.

Answer 8

go get help for sure...you did this because inside, your not just that ready to cut to feel pain and maybe even die, your mind told you to do this as a cry for help, but it didn't know exactly any other way to express it, and it wasn't ready for anything more serious. go get help right away

Answer 9

You definately need to tell someone about what you did. You need to get help cutting isn't something to mess around with.

Answer 10

Are you upset right now, depressed, etc?

It's a little bit weird, but if it's a one time deal then let's chalk it up to a moment of insanity.