I need help quick! Why Why Why!?

Question

My boyfriend doesnt mind me having guy friends that he knows well and has done for ages, but ones outside like my Mum's friends son and friends I meet when I go out at the bars He doesnt even like me having 11 year old male friends or even 50 year old ones. When we go to the beach I'm not aloud to even look at another guy accidently, he's always accusing me of the way I walk and the way I talk and stuff. What can I do to make him trust me? Many Thanks xxx

Answer 1

This is a little to freaky, i think i would run from this one...

Answer 2

You can't make him trust you you just have to put him in a position where he will see whats right. Does he look at other women? My boyfriend doesn't like me having male friends he doesn't know because he knows that the one i went out to town with fancied me. He gets upset so all you say is look i am not going to do anything, i'm not going to stop seeing my male friends. If you don't trust me then what is a relationship without trust. My boyfriend's started to trust me but i think he still finds it hard when sometimes i get texts from my male friends. Try to make him feel guilty if he looks at other women and say that why should he be able to do it and not you. and say you aren't even looking at them in that way or something.


I hope this helps somehow.

Answer 3

He must have something in his past that makes him think your are doing something that your not. Its never good to be harsh with someone like this because for them to feel so very insecure they may have suffered a traumatic event which is why the cycle repeats and being harsh will probably only reinforce what he thinks (his accusations are like a safety blanket-they help him think he is protecting himself). Talk to him and ask him why he gets like that with men he does not know, ask him if something happened. When you talk to him be very clear, dont send mixed messages. Tell him that its not good for the relationship and you want to get to the bottom of this so you two can enjoy each other. Seek outside professional help if you think you love him enough. Violation of trust is a very deep and scarring issue, many times people dont change because those around them react to them only seeing surface behaviors not realizing that there is a deep underlying and probably festering issue. It does not sound like simple jealousy to me. He is seeing enemies where there are none. Good luck to the both of you.

Answer 4

He has a trust issue with you his over protective nature is stifling your relationship its time you told him that you love him all the time but when he is this jealous fool you don't particularly like him . you cant go around not seeing half the population on a beach its not possible or logical .
He needs to deal with his insecurity and see you as a person with rights and an opinion not his possession to be horded away from view.
Take back your right to have friends and if he cant deal with that then he should hit the tracks .

Answer 5

the problem isnt just jealousy, its this type of jealousy usually leads to abuse later on in the relationship. If you can't reason with someone intellectually then they are no good, and possibly psycotic. No matter how cute he is, or how good he is in bed, think of your safety. And there isn't a way to make him trust you, its in his nature, he is who he is. The only explination that could be on his favor, is if you are seriously more physically attractive than he is, and he doenst think he is good enough for you, if that is the case I suggest time is the answer to him trusting you. And make an effort to make him feel more attractive in your eyes.

Answer 6

Um leave him? I won't deny my husband is a jealous type, but he's jealous of guys that could actually get in the way...not 12 or 50 year old guys. And, even he knows it's NATURAL to look at the opposite sex! So, your boyfriend...taking it a little too far. I would tell him he needs to chill out or you're out....

Answer 7

Ah...but will he ever trust you? If he is questionning your relationship with 11 and 50 year olds I'm thinking he is of the strange variety of lad....one who maybe needs to get his own life before he can share with others.....no matter what ....you are entitled to be friends with who ever you like!

Answer 8

talking about it. good luck. trust is hard to earn and keep in this situation. Hes either super jealous and insecure cuz ur a cutie, or, hes a cheater himself.
Just keep being cute and dont let man control u. Its a big waste did it for 5 years.

Answer 9

You cant make someone trust you, they either do or they dont. His mistrust of you can lead to jealousy and sometimes voilence. Sit him down and talk to him, tell him you cannot be in a relationship where there is no trust, tell him you love him but that you need him to trust you. Be confident in yourself and dont let him dictate to you how you should walk talk etc.. Your his partner not his plaything / toy. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!

Answer 10

jealousy is a terrible thing.maybe his self esteem has faltered.let your boy friend know that you care for him and no one else.but then again ,i have also felt jealous before and it is a bad thing to feel.as humans we sometimes feel insecure and like to be reassured.and it is a natural thing for other people to look at others.it is called being human.give your bf a hug and let them know they are special to you.that is all you can do.this may or may not help you.i hope it does.thank you for letting me share my input on this situation.

Answer 11

You leave him before you end up spending the rest of your life having to hide your face! He is an insecure control freak!! He will not change unless you make him change or leave him!!! That is the type of guy that ends up beating his wife! I know from experience!!