depression hurts and i still have to?

Question

i have been majorly depressed for about a year and a half. i tried to fake happiness for a few months so my mom would no longer be stressed out. but i am sadder than ever, and i am planning a suicide and thinking of how i should write the suicide note. but some part of still wants to live and i want to be happy. i pray to god everyday to be happy again but it never works and i cant get medicine b/c my dad's cheap *** refuses to bring me to therapy. so any advice? if not i only have one more option...

i am very active in my community and church so thats not the problem. and i am employed. and i would never commit suicide for attention that is the most selfish thing anyone could do! and very stupid, cuz there is really no going back. suicide takes alot of thought so dont even say im gonna commit suicide for attention.. that pisses me off more than anything. please help me though. i forgot to add that some people have told me i might be schizo cuz sometimes i see things at night in my room like babies crying and things standing in my room. and sometimes i dont rememeber doing things others tell me i have done. so are they right or wrong?

Answer 1

They have financial help out there for people with mental illnesses. Go into your local mental health clinic and tell them that you need help now, just walk in there, they will not turn you away. If you do that then maybe your dad will realize that you are serious about getting help, he may not think you are that serious about it. Another option would be telling your parents everything you just told us. If you don't want to say it then write them a letter, let them know that you really need help and that if they don't get you the help that you need, your condition will get worse.
Suicide is NOT the way out though hon...Life will get better. My husband got into an accident when he was 18 and had to have some of his skull removed and most of his skull is made of metal now, along with the head injury he has suffered from a lot of different mental things from insomnia to bi polar, He went to a local clinic ( not sure if they are everywhere ) but it is called Vera French, they will accept anyone anytime, they have helped him a lot, another thing that helps him and me both is to talk to people about the things that bother us. I am a recovering vicodin addict and if you would have talked to me 6 months ago, I would have been saying the same thing as you, I didn't want to live anymore, I was so sick of my addiction, It took over my life, I went to my doctor and got help, I now feel normal, I am happy again.
It can and will happen for you. You will find happiness again. It may take a little bit of time and work on your part but you will find yourself again.
If you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to email me.

Answer 2

Suicide is never the answer. It's just an easy way out that only serves to hurt the people that care about you. I understand that you must have gone through some though times, but are you gonna let that dictate how you live the rest of your life? You have no idea what life has in store for you so why are you giving up so early? Things may seem hopeless now, but what about a year from now, a week, tomorrow! Also, medicine from a psychiatrist is not a good idea. Everyone has the potential to better themselves without drugs. If you go that route then you'll find yourself dependent upon them. In my opinion you need to find an outlet for your depression. Talk to your friends or a school counselor, or at least people here. What determines what kind of a person you are is how you deal with your problems. Are you gonna give up and cash out or are you gonna find something worth living for (perhaps your family/friends).

Answer 3

Brooke, you're not alone.I am guessing that you are not in the UK.There are helplines that you can phone to talk to someone.And even websites where you can look for advice.Suicide is not the answer.
I have bouts of depression too.I broke away from my family 7 years ago because of the pain they caused me, and 2 years ago I had both my breasts removed because of cancer.My youngest son has had major health problems with his kidneys too, he had an operation when he was just 18 months old.
If you are still at school find a teacher to confide in.
Try and get out every day for a walk.Is there a hobby you've always wanted to try? I go swimming a few times a week with the family, we walk the dog every day.If the weather is nice we take a picnic up to eat on the mountain.
Just do something for yourself.Anything to get you out of a rut.Email me if you need to talk.

http://www.ncsp.org/samaritans.html

Answer 4

Contact your county/local mental health agency. If those feelings get stronger, go to the ER at the nearest hospital, or mental health facility, or call the emergency number: 911, in the USA, 999, in Great Britain, and 000, in Australia (see phone book, or use "call assistance", or "operator" if elsewhere. See suicidal thoughts, and depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 5, and 2. There are many hotlines, websites, and a lot of good information, to help you. See your school counselor, and doctor, ASAP.

Answer 5

well first of all your dads a dumba**. second of all dont commit suicide. i am assuming you are in high school because you are talking about your dad paying, if you were an adult you could pay yourself, so when school starts up in a week or two go to your school counselor. they will either get your dad to pay for therapy and meds, or call CPS and get you some foster parents who will pay for therapy and meds.


you dont really want to commit suicide, you just want the attention or to make your parents feel sorry for w/e they did. my only advice is to make it a week or 2 until school starts and talk to a couselor. until then your friends are probably the people to talk to because it sounds like you have problems with your parents.

Answer 6

You are correct. Depression does hurt, it's a terrible feeling. I have been where you are. Therapy can help, so can medication. Please get help.

There are people out there who can help you. Please get some help. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Please call 911 if you are serious about suicide at this moment.

Or if you are not in immediate danger please go here: http://www.suicide.org/#if-suicidal


"If you are not in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, but need someone to talk with about your suicidal feelings, please do not hesitate to call one of the following national suicide prevention lines:
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Suicide Prevention Lines

You may call these suicide prevention numbers from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day. People are waiting to help you. Call a suicide prevention number right now if you need to. And always remember that it is never okay to act on your thoughts of suicide. Never. Again, call a suicide prevention number now if you need to.
Never act on your thoughts of suicide.
Extensive suicide prevention hotline numbers, categorized by country or state, can be found on the Suicide Prevention Hotlines pages of this web site. Go to the Suicide Prevention Hotlines index page now if you need to.
Suicide is never the answer.
Getting help is the answer."


Addition: Your father MUST help you get into therapy. If he doesn't he can be charged with neglect. Talk with your family doctor or a school counselor. They will assist you in getting the help you need. Please don't be embarrassed to talk with them. They are there to help you.

(((((Brooke))))) Hugs for you sweetie. I do care!

Answer 7

You need to let out bottled up emotion. Depression is often caused by not dealt with emotions. If you manage to find those, let them out under guidance of yourself, then you might actually beat this depression. Not feeling is not exactly what you have... you feel sad. So cry. and cry till it's better. get angry, get upset, get afraid and happy.... I hope you understand what I'm saying here, because you can actually win this fight all by yourself. You need to choose to fight it, be proud of yourself for choosing so, and then go do it. yr dad.... well bugger him. Get a book on how to defeat depression as well, believe me, medication is often only a way to combat the syptoms, but you are left behind with the cause. Find your own cause. You can. It is a matter of searching inside. Finding the solution inside yourself..... try, and you might just succeed. If you feel like writing, do so, if you feel like getting exercise, do so.
if you feel like mailing, just do so. there are a lot of people prepared to talk to you if you need it. and most of them are easily found on here. :-))) I truly hope you will feel better. Do not commit suicide. It is an absolute last resort and it is losing your battle. I hope you will fight. lemme know okay?

Answer 8

Suicide is NOT the answer! If you have to go to a friend, another relative, anyone that can help you ASAP!!! How stressed do you think your mom would be if you committed suicide? Happiness lies in you, and you need to get to the root of your problems. Medicine isn't going to solve your unhappiness, you have to! Please get help right away!!

Answer 9

Don't seriously even try to go through with suicide. You sound like you'll fail just like I did the first time I tried and you'll regret it for the rest of your life because of the medical bills you'll have as a result of your failed attempt at suicide. If you can't count on family for help and advice, talk to your friends. I think with the hope you have you'll be just fine.

Answer 10

Hi Brooke,
To keep away the thoughts from ur mind,better get involved in some work.Don't remain idle b/c idle mind is a devils workshop.If u get some time try to do meditation(close ur eyes,concentrate only on ur breath and keep away thoughts with ur mind in blank).
For everything,time has to come.As far as possible,dont think abt ur situation and try to be happy with what u have.Ur prayers will be answered one fine day...Lead a cheerful life...Good luck.