Do you lose or gain more if you have premarital sex?

Question

I know that you stand to gain experience, pleasure, not feel repressed, etc. but do you feel like you let your parents down, your values, and your future spouse?

Answer 1

I'm a virgin by my own choice. Not because of religion/culture/strict parents. Do I feel I have let myself down by not sleeping around with several men? I don't think so!

I have a lot of pride in knowing that I have self respect for myself and love making rather than just sex. My bf really respects I am a virgin as well.

Answer 2

I think you lose more than you gain: 1. the Bible calls fornication a sin; 2. you are disrespecting your future spouse by not saving yourself for him or her, because the gift of your virginity can only be given away once; 3. if you have real values you are letting yourself down; 4. especially if you are young you are letting your parents down. The only things you really gain from premarital sex are all negative, except perhaps a fleeting pleasure: 1. a female might get pregnant before she's ready and a male might become a father before he's ready; 2. you risk the chance of getting an STD; 3. you might gain a bad reputation.

Answer 3

You have so much of what the King has prepared for you, at the right time, in this life and the next.

But Hey you also have allot to gain;
1) Being able to brag about losing your virginity young, WOW!
2) Catching an STD,
3) Having an unplanned child - whether your male or female!
4) Not feeling good about yourself, but rather - rotten!
5)Not ever knowing the magic between a man and a woman who were put together, in Holy Matrimoney as virgins.
Virginity is also lost when someone goes down, or doesn't have an orgasm...

The list goes on, but I'm sure you can fill in alot of the blanks.

Answer 4

Gain.

1. Let your parents down? They're not getting married to this person for life, you (or whomever) are.
2. My values are my values and what I would chose to do would reflect them.
3. Further, I would be doing my future spouse the same disservice as I would to myself by not knowing them well enough in this or any other important facet of life (as best as possible at the time).

Sex is natural. It's not something to be ashamed of. I feel sorry for those who think that way.

Answer 5

I learned what I suspected I would learn, that many of the misogynstic anti-sex teachings I recieved as a young girl in a Christian enviroment were grossly incorrect even potentially abusive.

I didn't ask my parents for permission to have sex when I was 19 and 'lost my virginity' on a one night stand. For all I know my parents believe I'm a virgin and that's okay with me. I have no need to tell my parents about my sexual experiences. That's sort of weird isn't it? My parents raised me to be an individual. I was an intelligent child and my parents always encouraged free-thinking, rebellion against 'common knowledge' and creativity. Learning on ones own is important to them, although because of their beliefs, I'm sure they would never accept what I learned opposes their reality. I accept my parents for who they are and I accept myself, but I feel no need to disrespect them or to rock the boat. By now, they are set in their ways.

My values do not involve the idea that pre-marital sex is always wrong, but that's not to say all sex is right. In fact, I believe that both pre-marital sex and marital sex can be morally wrong. I was raised to believe that sex was for marriage, but the arguements put forth made very little sense. I think it's more important for lovers to respect themselves and their partner(s) and whether or not one is married has little importance.

My future spouse, who I actually know and am engaged to, is good with my having sexual experiences before him. He's happy I'm comfortable with myself and my sexuality. Respects my veiws on sexuality and comes with complementing veiws. As for his previous lovers? I feel the same way. There is no jealousy of his past. I think it is good.

I never believed that 'virginity' was a thing to give away or that sex should be a gift. Sexuality is part of oneself and no more different or intimate than other parts of the self although our culture has needs to dictate this way. My future husband feels the same way and this is why there is no offense there. I would never marry a man who could not veiw or respect sexuality like I do.

Answer 6

My stance on premarital sex is that it's a totally good thing. (Unless you knock her up or get Herpes, then it sucks to be you) Some people will tell you, "Save it for your wife so that you'll both know that you only stick it in her." Well, I say those people are idiots. If you do get around in the bedroom before marriage, that's just more experience for you to eventually bang the woman of your dreams. (AKA: Da Wife) I mean, after all, you don't want your first time with your wife to be awkward because you're a lame little virgin, do you? No you don't, son, no you don't...

Answer 7

Think about it this way, there is such a thing as too young.

But think of it the otherway - what if you don't find the person your supposed to marry until the age of 40? Who's gonna hold out until 40. Not to mention, that's not healthy.

Or you could marry the first person you want to screw, and just get divorced.

Some people do get married at 20 and stay married forever and never have pre-marital sex. But that's unrealistic.

Answer 8

personally I think it is a good idea to dispose of the influence of sex right off the bat for it biases ones perceptions of the more important facets of a lasting relationship . You must figure in life only about ten percent can we invest in sex and the rest deserves an objective freedom from the fetters of our animal passions . so my answer is obviously yes have premarital sex by all means get over it .

Answer 9

Morality is a factor for many people when deciding whether or not to have premarital sex. Is it a factor for you? After all, the messages we receive from most TV shows and movies these days tells us "everyone is doing it." In light of today's permissive attitude, your peers may think you're weird to even question it.

Answer 10

I also engaged in premarital sex. It is more of letting yourself down more than disappointing others. I felt like I've lost something very precious and dear to me. allowing people to share you re body with you before marriage is emotionally tormenting. I believe your husband/wife must be the only one you open yourself to and only after marriage. Sex is more of an emotional attachment it is not only physical.

Being emotional attached before marriage is a sin. It is very wise to wait for the right time