My friend invited someone else to our (one-on-one!) get-together without asking me...?

Question

A couple nights ago, my friend "Bob" and I made plans to hang out and go shopping on Tuesday. We haven't seen each other in a while.
Tonight, he sent me an IM while I was away saying "I just wanna make sure we're still on for tomorrow. Drop me a message. Oh, and my friend "Sally's" probably going to join us as well = ]"
By the time I read the message he already signed off, but I do have his text number.
Problem is...I'm hard of hearing so it is hard for me to hang out with more than one person at a time because I can't hear them well. I want to just hang out with "Bob," not "Sally." Was it rude for him to invite someone without asking me? And is it rude for me to ask him to tell her not to come? How do I ask him?
Thanks in advance for your answers!

Also, it's really late tonight and we have plans in the morning...kinda complicated!

We talked online a couple of days ago, and it basically went like:
Bob-We haven't hung out, we should do that soon.
Me-Yeah I'm only free this Tuesday though and I have to run an errand in the morning
Bob-Well, I can join you, then we can go shopping.
Me-okay, sounds good!

Bob and Sally aren't dating nor do they wish to date (Bob is gay). I don't know Sally and I have never met her or heard of her before.

Answer 1

I would text him and tell him that you'd rather it just be you and him hanging out and also explain that you're uncomfortable trying to hear two people at the same time and since its been a while since you two have hung out, that you'd rather it just be you and him. :-) If he's a friend he'll certainly understand. Just be nice ;-)

Answer 2

That's a toughy - he is the one who essentially invited you out so you don't really have any say in who else comes. If it were you that did the inviting then you'd could say something.

He might have already had plans with this Sally person on Tuesday which is why she's coming and he just forgot to mention it before.

Considering your special circumstances though, I don't think it would be rude to ask him to uninvite her. Just tell him you're not comfortable with new people because of the hearing loss and would prefer it just be the two of you. If he's a friend, he'll understand.

Answer 3

Makes a difference if you ask him out then it was rude of him. This is a hard one. I don't know what I would do. Maybe send him an email or better yet visit him and ask if ''Sally'' knows that you are hearing impaired. Tell him that it makes you a little uncomfortable to be around strangers because of this and some people don't like to have to deal with it. Maybe you will gain some kind of comfort or come to some kind of decision after you talk it out.

Answer 4

I wouldn't ask him if he thinks hes being rude. He will automaticcaly go on the defense. Also you ahve to understand that as a female we tend to read into things more then men do. He probably didn't even think you'd be bothered by this. Deal with his friend for this event and show you're trying. when you two are alone simply tell him that you have hearing problems and that it's easier if its just you and him. tell him you want time with him not him and a friend, but make sure he knows that you are open to spending time with his friends so we doesn't completely seperate you and his friends all together

Answer 5

I think you are stuck this time. Tell Sally about your hearing problem (in front of Bob) so he doesn't make this mistake again. Treat Sally the best that you can as it isn't her fault; she probably doesn't know she is intruding.

Answer 6

A couple questions will help me to lend advice here.
1) Who invited whom to this event? Did Bob invite you, or did you invite Bob?
* If Bob invited you, then he is free to invite anyone else. It is his event.
* If you invited Bob, then he overstepped his bounds.

2) Do you know Sally? Do you like her?
3) Are Bob and Sally dating, or wish to date? Do you wish to date Bod?

See, 2 and 3 complicate things beyond simple etiquette. If you don't know Sally, don't want to date Bob, and Bob wants to date her, then maybe he is asking you to play "wingman" to help him with Sally. Maybe you like Bob, and you are jealous of this new woman.

In any event, talk to Bob. Tell him that your state of hearing makes you uncomfortable to hang out with multiple people. If he is your friend, he will understand.

Good luck!

Answer 7

It's rude of him. Yes, tell him not to bring Sally. Your aim is to hang out with an old pal, not to get to know a new one.

Answer 8

Don t experience any guilt in any respect. It became so impolite and pushy for somebody to song or ask! To have somebody at your residing house for better than a jiffy (some hours) incorporates extremely some artwork and cost on your section. Beside the certainty which you only don t desire them on your inner maximum areas-ever! limitations anybody? you ought to set them devoid of guilt. human beings like this are opportunists feeling you out. in case you don t set sparkling limitations, he/she will save pushing. Don t ever invite them (or maybe advise a get-mutually), or those varieties will leap on it and think of that's a thumbs-up possibility sooner or later besides. believe your gut, and you will see how they are priming you with their manipulative concepts. you probable felt it, yet only enable it flow. bear in mind this provided that individual would not care-your house is your inner maximum retreat. it is your inner maximum area! do no longer provide varieties excuses the two. those obnoxious(manipulative) human beings will only artwork around it. they are purchasers. Be company and sparkling. in the event that they relaxing off offended, that is by way of they re very own doing. Too undesirable for them and stable for you! they must be embarrassed, yet they are no longer. they're going to make excuses and blame you. enable them to flow. they're going to be shifting directly to apply somebody else! (LOL) once you're certainly one of them, understand that persons do no longer desire you at their residing house 24/7, or for that remember every time once you attempt to song or invite your self!

Answer 9

I think it was rude to include Sally without asking your permission.