What do you think of my (anti-)religious poem? It's called "Heaven: And God Smiles"?

Question

Unheard voices scream in agony.
Above, a world away,
Angels run their fingers
Over ethereal harps.
The music resonates
In bodyless souls.
The same souls who sit and smile;
The memories of lost loved ones erased
By the serene music.
Forgetting them is the easiest way
To keep them faithful.
And looking on his flock,
God smiles.

I think forgetting a loved one is the worst torture that could ever be inflicted on a person. I think it's worse than an eternity in a lake of fire.
I'm not meaning to offend, this poem reflects how I feel.
I'm open to opinions and suggestions if you have any. Thanks.

Answer 1

I'm a poetry fanatic. Very lovely. Had good flow. The ending is morbid, but I can't help but like it. It makes it thought-provoking.

I think, though, the first line can give more punch if you add it in again, near the end. Leave it as the opener, but also make it third to the last and it can give better delivery.

But that's just my opinion. :3

Answer 2

The Hell described in the Bible isn't a real place with flames we experience here in this world. It is rather a metaphor. Other metaphors include darkness, separation from God. Lake of fire is just another metaphorical image of hell among many others.

To answer your question, its an "ok" poem.

Answer 3

I like ur writing style but i don't agree with ur poem. God doesn't smile when his people are sent to hell... he mourns for them because they condemned themselves to hell on their own. Just like a father would mourn for his son when that son was going down the wrong path... and couldn't change his son's ways. Sinners reject God... not the other way around.

Answer 4

i hate poems that full of pretentious metaphors. "angels run their fingers over ethereal harps"??

i hate even more poems that don't rhyme. making poems rhyme without sounding like a dr.seuss book is the real challenge. if you don't want to/can't write a complex and profound poem that rhymes, just write a paragraph!

other than that, objectively speaking, your poem was actually good. no sarcasm.

Answer 5

Oddly enough, if you sent it to a Christian publisher they would use it. It actually is well constructed, and without your commentary they would be seduced by the angelic harp strings.
I suggest you get a copyright on it then offer it for publication.

Answer 6

The reason God takes away your memory of loved ones, is because there will be no tears or pain in Heaven..If you knew they didn't make it to Heaven but you did,,you would mourn for them all the time...God doesn't want you to be sad. You will not have a memory of them but don't you think that is better than picturing them in Hell and eternally suffering?

Answer 7

Sorry but i think its lacking in many areas i would not give up my day job. Of course you are entitled to feel what you like about God and religion as are we all.

Answer 8

many times verse 9 is taken out of context , neglecting to point the verses in the previous and after it. right it particularly is the the instant context, “yet ?don't be talked approximately as ?Rabbi; for One is your instructor, and you're all brothers. 9 “do no longer call all of us in the worldwide your father; for ?One is your Father, He who's in heaven. 10 “don't be talked approximately as ?leaders; for One is your chief, this is, Christ.” Jesus is coping with a plenty diverse situation. he's pointing out the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and instructors of the regulation. In verses 6 and seven which right this moment precede the rejection of the titles of honor, Jesus explains in what sense His rejection is meant: "and that they love the region of honor at feasts and the final seats interior the Synagogues, and salutations contained available places, and being talked approximately as rabbi." right here Jesus is commenting on their superiority complexes. they have effectively set God aside and positioned themselves in His place; subsequently the comments on being humbled and being exalted. Bible Christians call their ministers "Pastor." Pastor ability shepherd. In John 10:14-sixteen Jesus says, "i'm the forged shepherd. i understand my very own and my very own understand me, with the aid of fact the father knows of me and that i understand the father, and that i lay down my existence for the sheep. and that i produce different sheep that are no longer of this fold. i could desire to hold them additionally, and that they'll heed my voice. So there'll be one flock, one shepherd." If we reason that we can not call a priest Father with the aid of fact we "have one Father who's in heaven," then can we no longer additionally reason that we can not call a minister Pastor with the aid of fact there is largely "one Shepherd?" keeping apart and grabbing carry of one scripture verse is volatile. it particularly is deceptive or perhaps risky. Even an truthful and nicely-intentioned Christian can subconsciously bend a verse to wholesome his or her very own desires. that's extremely significant to appreciate the Bible as God meant. St. Augustine as quickly as pronounced, "no longer what one scripture says, yet what all of Scripture says." we can take it a step further and say, no longer what Scripture says yet what Scripture ability.

Answer 9

Frankly, I prefer David.

Answer 10

I applaud you for being open to opinions and suggestions. I suggest that if you are (anti-)religion, you might be happier posting on another site. Just my opinion...after all, this is a Religion site. --- Blessings!