Is it normal? What should I do?

Question

I'm 20 and ever since I can remember, I've been really sensitive to the dating thing. As soon as a guy, who I secretly like, asks me out, I get extremely nervous being around/talking to them (to the point that I start to avoid them). Then, I seem to completely lose interest in them all together.

I've never had a boyfriend and I always have guy friends that openly like me. I've had guys (and girlfriends) tell me that I'm a tease even though I don't really mean to be.

I've come to realize that I am scared to have any kind of relationship or do anything physical (even holding hands or getting hugs). I also think that maybe people would look down on me or something for going out with a guy friend.

I seriously just want to get some opinions and advice from guys and girls alike as to what's going on and maybe how I could over-come this obstacle.

Thanks! :)

Also, even when I'm extremely nervous to talk to a guy in person, I am just fine texting or messaging him. I've had guys ask me why I won't talk to them in person but I will online.

Answer 1

I was just like you. The time will come when someone will come along that is able to make you work through your anxiety. I was nervous, and even when I liked a guy I had an icky feeling when I talked to him. But one guy pushed through my barriers by just hanging around. Maybe it was the guy or maybe the timing was just right, but I grew more calm after that. Now I'm 33; married for 11 years. Things have a way of working out.

Answer 2

I believe you have some kind of anxiety disorder, maybe even other things going on as well. That degree of shyness is unusual. Maybe you came from a strict, prude, or religious family? You should see a therapist and work through it. You will not have a very happy life without human contact. Do you want to end up an old spinster living in a house by yourself with a dozen cats? I don't think so.