I am choosing not to answer a call from guy friend who I've known for over 12 years. He dated a close freind of mine about 8 years ago. Now over the past 2 years every time he comes into town we have sex. I feel like I'm betraying my friend, and there is obviously no future with this guy as he has lied to me and we just plain arn't compatable.
Please tell me I am finally being mature by not answering his calls.
Tell me not to justify this and tell myself I can just have sex with him, no big deal, how can I turn down sex.
Tell me how to call him back the next day and give a good excuse why I can't see him while he is in town.
2007-08-13 16:32:05 · 31 answers · asked by sofun 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey, What's up? Yeah, I think that's mature... Don't worry about giving him excuses. You shouldn't wanna be involved with a guy who lies to you... so to me it just seems like a waste of your time.. Move on and find a good guy you can actually have a relationship with ! :)
2007-08-13 16:38:54 · answer #1 · answered by Han 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you shouldn't date a guy who has been with your friend regaurdless on how the chemistry is unless you consulted your friend about it and she said it was really ok. You have betrayed your friend and if you think it might come back to bite you in the *** then I suggest you to fess up. Sex may be great and some people (like myself) knows when they have had it that damn good. I was addicted to the sex with a certain individual for many years. It took several times to leave him alone. Yes the urge is not going to go away. You have to be mature and let him go if you don't see it going anywhere. You will have the power to fight it off and I believe in you. I hope you find someone that you see a future with and comes with the same great sex or better! You shouldn't deal with anyone who lies to you. They aren't worth the time or effort. Sex shouldn't make up for it either. Find someone open and honest and that shares like interest. You will be happier that you made your decision. Don't ignore his call. Just tell him like you see it and tell him to hit the road and you never want to see him again. Obviously you can't be friends with him because of the lies. I say yes. You have the right idea and you are mature for thinking so! You go girl! Never give excuses. Tell him how you feel and you will feel better! Happy searching for the right man! I hope you find love soon! Being alone sucks!
2007-08-13 16:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Steph W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss fickle,
You do not need an excuse for not returning calls to someone. You have already said you now there is no future with this guy, So if you can simply say I need space from you do it.
Don't drag out this situation any more than it has Yes I know sex is a fun pleasurable thing. My personal opinion, sex without feelings a "connection" with the other person is something empty, shallow and unfulfilled on several levels.
You don't need an excuse for not seeing him when he is in town. You have a legitimate REASON! 1. This is not going anywhere.You don't feel comfortable with the relationship for the reasons you yourself point out. onset about how you feel with this guy and part cordially,.
If he turns out acting stalker psycho with you, file a restraining order against him and make sure it is served. If that doesn't make him go elsewhere, pepper mace him if he harasses you and then file charges against him.
Hopefully telling this person how you feel will be enough and the rest will never need to be done. Hope it helps.
2007-08-13 16:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by garyd617 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're taking the wrong path. Your friend gave up her option on this dude a long time ago, she should have no complaint. Why feel guilty about enjoying your body and the pleasure it gives?
Good sex is hard to find. Remember, you could get hit by a train tomorrow or fall down the stairs and break your neck. Your friend might not be there for you but that guy and his johnson will have given you many happy memories.
Sex is real. Everything else except death is kind of fake and illusory. And also, he's not really lying if he is just trying to keep his access to you. That's just a guy being a guy. It'd be different if he killed your dog and lied to you about it.
2007-08-13 16:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on how emotionally involved you are. If you are hurt after sex, then this is not sex with no strings attached. Stop the activity if you believe he is a liar and are not compatible. Your thinking is mature by not answering his calls. But that means to cease ALL contact. Try changing your number. Unless you like the pain associated with this guy? Not worth it. You are better than that, I hope.
2007-08-13 16:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by DMR 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are being mature. Not because you are "staying faithful to your friend" but because you know what's best for you. He lies to you. He isn't compatable. I don't think that sounds like comfortable sex. Plus, you feel guilty afterwards. There are better partners out there, trust me. You're doing yourself a favor by not picking up his calls. Just think, if you had a friend in the same situation, you'd tell them not to return his calls. :)
2007-08-13 16:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by Nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was eight years ago....it's not that big of a thing about that...but if he's just using you, you're being mature on making this decision. All you have to say is that you don't feel comfortable with him and maybe you could say you have plans or a date or maybe even you're seeing someone. If you want to have sex with him, and you feel comfortable with it, then it's ok. Just make sure you don't get attatched and get hurt.
2007-08-13 16:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by anjelfromyournightmare21 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not being mature by just not answering the phone when he calls. you have been seeing him for 2 years now, i think he deserves to hear it from you if you don't want to see him anymore. as for the friend, they dated 8 years ago and i really seriously doubt if they would care if you are sleeping with him now not only that, but you have been doing it for 2 years, so why the sudden guilty conscience now? if you don't want to see him anymore, pick up the phone and tell him.
2007-08-13 16:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well girl, what I would do is just be honest with him.. Because it's not taking you anywhere just sleeping with him and there are millions of guys in the world so you don't need someone that uses you.. And I guess it's not really fair to your friend... Don't ignore him just tell him.. Hey I don't want to do anything with you anymore I just want to be friends. Nothing more.. Because if your having doubts about picking up you need to take the first steps in kicking him out of your life..
2007-08-13 16:38:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another Booty call. Pat yourself on the back. He probably refer to you just as such when he is speaking about you. STD"S are waiting for you. Don't call him back. You don't need an excuse, But since you think you do, Just tell him you have decided to wait until you get married. There will be no more sex. You have decided to become a Christan that's like no other one you know. And that is "Real"
2007-08-13 16:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by MS Williams 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋