Dependent on counseling?

Question

I started seeing a psychologist after I broke up with my ex who cheated on me. It's been about 3 months since I started getting counseling. Although I feel like I should already move on with the thoughts of my ex but I still can't. My psychologist says it is ok to think about my ex as long as I accecpt my feelings. By trying to supress my feelings, I am making myself feel bad, according to my psychologist.

I've been seeing him every 2 weeks lately. The first week after I talk to my psychologist, I feel good about myself like I am moving on with my life and doing something good for myself. But the following week, I feel horrible that I think about my ex and feel depressed to the point where I want to sleeping pills so I go to sleep and not think about him. Once I talk to my psychologist, I start the cycle all over again. One week I'm OK, next week I'm depressed.

Am I being dependent on counseling? What can I do to feel better so I get better sooner?

Answer 1

In response to Robert above, I know he wants to help as we all do, but a psychologist can not prescribe medicine.


You are so normal, but you don't realize it yet (which is also normal).

You aren't a sick person either (as if you need to GET better). You are a normal person who is depressed (for good reason), and needs to FEEL better.

How does it help to hear that divorce is 1 in 2 these days, when you believe in marriage as "forever," and you put all your love and trust in someone whom you thought and believed with all you heart was exactly the same?

That is a lousy pain that hurts so badly, it clouds reasoning and understanding (which is what your psychologist is giving you).

It isn;t that you are dependent upon your psychologist. It is merely that everything is put well in perspective during your visits.

You understand everything when you are listening, but sometimes nothing is permanently registering in your memory because of normal thoughts wandering in and out during the process. In other words, "it makes sense at the time."

This is normal (no matter what the subject).

When you have had time to distance your thoughts from your feelings, you will start conversing with your psychologist more with your mind than your heart. Once this transition takes its gradual effect, you will begin to register more of what you have been told in the beginning during the visits when you couldn't absorb it all (and for good reason). You heard it. You understood it. You didn't absorb it.

Eventually, your mind will say, "... move on" before your heart does. All this is very normal. When you are ready, you will be almost finished with the psychologist, but may want to talk less frequently.

For now, your thoughts are cloudy. The clouds disappear when your psychologist explains everything, but you still need to get that input because you can't see things straight without the input.

Give it time. You need your psychologist. You are not going to be dependent on counceling forever. You are now, and that is a good thing. You'll know and feel the dependency drop off with time.

Almost every psychologist knows the job was well done, when the words, "I don't need you anymore" are said with true understanding and perspective.

Right now, you need counseling, and that's a good thing because... you're normal.

Answer 2

I think it is great that you were able to recognize that you needed counseling. I am concerned that you feel you want to take sleeping pills so you can sleep and not think about him... I dont know if a psychologist can perscribe anti-depressents if they would be of assistance with your depression. Dont worry that you still need counseling... it is helping you, and a quick fix or denial will not work in the long run.

Answer 3

i don't think you are dependent on counseling, i just think you want to feel good again and everytime you go there you feel better, talking about our problems makes us feel better for the moment which is great, so that is a hint that maybe you need to keep on talking and surrounding your self with positive friends and family. It takes some time to get over someone that you really cared for, unfortunately though time does not stand still and we must get stronger with each day. one day you will look back at this and say to your self, oh my god, why did i even feel bad over that. in the mean time please realize that its ok to have those feelings when you feel you have lost something. it takes a lot to pull ourselves together after a lost, but it is really true what they say, time is the best healer, in the mean time, do things to make your self feel better, and stay busy, good luck and recover soon.

Answer 4

Dependent, I don't think so at all. There are much worse things to be dependent on. Talking to a professional about difficult feelings is a good thing. The next time you go, tell him about the pattern you're seeing and ask his advice. Also, ask him about the steps of grieving because that's what you're doing. You're grieving a loss and everyone goes through the same stages of grief just at different speeds.

Answer 5

Discontinue the counseling. After three months, you shouldn't need any more counseling. Some psychologists do try to make you dependent on them so they can collect your money. Counseling can sometimes make a person feel worse. Vulnerability and overvaluing your counselor contributes to depression.

If you want to feel better, become more active. This will help your mood and help you feel better about yourself.

Answer 6

yes you are addicted seek counselling for this crippling illness