my children have been asked to particpiate in the wedding but not the reception?

Question

my children have been asked to be part of their uncle's weeding ceremony but have been asked not to attend the reception. we are a little dissapointed because we know that they love music and dancing and would have a blast at the ceremony. On the other hand, there was someone that i didn't want at my reception and they showed and i was upset. i don't want to rock the boat. I don't want to hurt my brother or put a wedge anywhere. any ideas?

Answer 1

That's odd ~ I assume that after the ceremony you will have to take the kids to a babysitter before enjoying the reception yourself??

You should respect your bro's wishes re: not bringing them to the reception. (As a person who doesn't think kids belong at wedding receptions, it will drive me bonkers if someone brings an uninvited kid to mine.)

However, if your kids will be hurt at not being included, or if it will cause you too much trouble to get them to a sitter before getting to the reception yourself, you may have to decline the offer to have them in the ceremony. Just make sure you fully explain yourself & situation to your brother ~ hopefully he will understand.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I can help you a little.. I hope.. The is a true story. My daughter was married three years ago. She had children at the wedding and the reception. They were well behaved at the wedding ceremony. But at the reception they ran amok. The speeches could not be heard as they were shouting, and running around the tables. They were clicking the table cameras in peoples faces during the speeches too! Is there any way that they can come to the reception after the speeches and then formal duties would be out of the way? Then they can dance the night away till they drop.

Answer 3

My opinon I think it is rude for your children to be in the wedding and not be a part of the reception. They are part of the "wedding party" so they should be included in the reception. I would ask your brother why they can not attend and see what he says. He might be having a no child reception but that still is not an excuse. I had a no child reception but the children that were in my wedding were invited and I would of had it no other way.

Answer 4

Who asked that the children not be a part of the reception? Your brother? His fiance? Depends on who asked. If it was someone other than those two, maybe that person didn't realize the kids are in the wedding.

I would ask your brother to verify if that is correct. If he says yes, then don't mention it again. Just say, I understand and then tell him that you might not be able to stay for the reception, since you don't have a babysitter.

Answer 5

Even at adult only receptions, the children that participate in the wedding party are still invited, so I find it a bit odd that they are not allowed to go to the reception. (Especially since they are immediate family.)

I would feel disappointed as well. If the children are old enough to make their own decision you may want to ask them how they feel about it. Otherwise it's up to you, I would probably attend the ceremony and skip the reception with the children that way at least they won't feel as left out.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I'm sorry but this is probably the brides request. Okay, I know I'm going to get a lot of thumbs down for this but these woman are nuts!! They just thinks kids have no feelings and will destroy their wedding by dancing and having fun. But it's okay to have the crazy aunt that will get tanked and dance on the table. I believe weddings are about families, I had 12 kids at my wedding and they were wonderful. It was a formal event in NYC and my nephews, along with my friends daughters were in my wedding and also came to the reception. I think your brother is doing whatever "the bride" requests. They're in the wedding party, why would they leave them behind!! That's terrible!!!!

Edit: If I did this to my nephews they would be soooo upset. I know they would be crying. I really think your brother "the uncle" should talk to "bridezilla" and be understanding. If not, I wouldn't attend the reception and allow my children to get upset for their own selfish reasons.

Answer 7

I really hope that you didn't have to travel any great distance to bring your family to this wedding. (If you did, are you supposed to drop your kids back at the hotel and either you or your wife has to miss the reception?) Or even if you are local, are you supposed to drive the kids home, deal with the babysitter, and then return for the reception? Again, I hope it's not too far, because what a complete pain in the butt.

Generally speaking, I think the bride and groom are entitled to have a kid-free wedding and/or reception if they want one. If it's an issue of your and your kids' FEELINGS, I'd say let it go. But if it's an issue of total ridiculous inconvenience (see above), you might want to have a quiet chat with your bro and ask him if he has any suggestions for how you can get your kids cared for that night. He might not realize what a difficult spot he has put you in.

Answer 8

I think that is rude of him. I wouldn't have the kids in the ceremony if they are old enough to attend the reception and aren't invited. Before you decline ask him why the kids were not invited to the reception. We had my niece be a flower girl and she didn't go to the reception because she was 2 and the reception started at her bedtime. This was more a decision of her parents though - her name was on the invitation I sent.

Answer 9

In general children in the wedding party also attend the reception but if this is waht your brother wants for his day than you must comply with his wishes and not bring them to the reception.

Get all the pictures you want of the darlings at the wedding and then you could have something special planned for them to do while the reception is going on. If you will be attending the reception you could arrange something with the babysitter so that the youngsters can also have some fun after the big event.

Answer 10

Sorry but I think your brother is being very rude and heartless and I would tell him thanks but no thanks. He is using your kids to complement their wedding party as far as photos etc but they are not good enough to attend the reception and get food and entertainment in return for their services.
I cant believe a brother could be so rude!!
I totally understand when people dont want children at their weddings. That is their perogative. But having them in the wedding but saying no to the reception? That is screwed up. I would be really angry. It is like your children are being rude. He is the one putting the wedge because he has obviously already offended you enough to ask this question. Sit him down and talk some sense into him and if you cant do it get your mother or father or someone to talk to him. He is being mean.

Answer 11

Been there done that. My cousin wanted the same thing. These people want to use your kids for the ceremony and pictures and then want to ditch them for the fun. Don't let them get away with it.

Edit: I hope this wedding is local. If not, are you willing to miss the reception also? I mean these young bridezillas keep talking about getting some strange sitter that you have never met to watch your kids and they think that is ok. I think not. I would never leave my kids with some stranger even if the bride says their reputable. Of course it's up to you though. Good luck with your decision.