Two men dressed in pilot uniforms and wearing dark glasses board a passenger jet. One of the men is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way onto the plane with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin as the pilots make their way into the cockpit. The door closes. A moment later the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for a sign that it's all just a joke.
The plane begins to roll foward and quickly accelerates down the tarmac. The people sitting in the window seats begin to realize they're not getting airborne.
It begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water at the end of the runway. Panicked screams fill the cabin! Then, suddenly the plane lifts into the air. The passengers relax and breathe heavy sighs of relief and laugh sheepishly. They soon retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
2007-08-13 14:05:45 · 34 answers · asked by Bored 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days they're gonna scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
2007-08-13 14:06:05 · update #1
That was great, I really liked it. I got one for ya.
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."
2007-08-13 16:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by Maroon*Four 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bit Cruel And Funny Abit.
2016-05-17 06:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not laugh out loud funny, but funny in a black, esoteric sense. It might be funnier in ten years, since airplane security humor entered taboo territory after 9/11.
Also, this joke can probably benefit from being shortened by several lines. At least cut down on some of the poetic visual verbiage.
2007-08-13 14:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by kiteracer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ii l0ve j0kes yah! heres an0ther joke a bl0nde j0ke that is retarted but ii find it funni a lil
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
2007-08-13 14:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by CAN i GET A LiL BiT 0F L.O.V.E ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's not funny at all. I'd be terrified if I was in a plane with two blind pilots.
2007-08-13 14:10:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh I thought that was funny! But then again just about anything makes me laugh so yeah.
2007-08-13 14:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its good....4 outta 5
2007-08-13 14:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by asdfjkl; 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya I thought that was pretty funny! I will give you a star.
2007-08-13 14:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by Dj KluP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea that's pretty good. I'm gonna share that one. That ok? Later.....
2007-08-13 14:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by Shawn D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha . It's kind of corney but it's cute. I also like dumb jokes though
2007-08-13 14:11:19 · answer #10 · answered by AuroraOz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋