SOOOOO, i did a switcheroo & asked him. his response was immediate and he said yes! he didn't even hesitate. maybe he feels pressured now? i thought things would be okay. he's become distant. we are very open with each other so to elevate the anxiety, i told him, "honey, when you are ready, you can ask me to marry you, buy a ring & propose to me, and this will make it more comfortable for you, maybe? no pressure, no time limit, when you are ready, okay"....and i kissed him passionately. seems like a better option, maybe more legit. i think maybe i scared him out of his mind. maybe he has paniced about the "M" thing.. maybe i should step back and not communicate with him for awhile and let him think? i told him there is no rush and i am always the one i see myself with him & big expensive gawdy engagement rings dont have to be the norm. when the time comes i told him i would be gracious with any type of ring. becuz if it came from him, it came from his heart & i WILL LOVE HIM STILL.
2007-08-13 12:24:39 · 7 answers · asked by cry x 247 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
so he said yes and then has been distant ever since? Is that what you are saying?
Maybe he is thinking over how he will afford a ring. Maybe he is mad at himself for not getting around to asking you first? He might feel like he failed you for not doing it. There is really no way to know what he is thinking unless you ask him. You know him best of all!
Maybe just dont mention it for a week or so and see what happens then. Give him a chance to get his thoughts together. If it looks like he is just going to forget about it and pretend it never happend, then bring it up again. Ask him what the problem is.
Good luck with it all.
2007-08-13 12:35:53 · answer #1 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If YOU asked him to marry you and he said yes, then he does not NEED to get you a ring or propose since YOU already proposed!
Time to set a date and place for the wedding!
Stopping all contact for one week and basically doing threats like this will eventually backfire.
Have you guys even bothered to talk about marriage prior to your proposal?
2007-08-14 04:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had a real hard time with the entire engagement process. It's not always like a storybook, it's real life. Things happen, you may need to seperate only to find you miss each other and can't live apart. Men are like rubberbands, you let them stretch out and they'll come back again. Or maybe not. You have to let it happen.
My husband (then boyfriend) asked me to marry him out of the blue. I was so excited and told a bunch of people later to find out he wasn't sure. I left him for a good month and then he started calling and it happened, like an act from god. My ex boyfriend started calling me and my now husband got so jealous, then we went ring shopping. End of story. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.
2007-08-13 12:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by Lyla 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you cannot talk to your boyfriend about marriage and plans for the future, openly and without reservations or second-thoughts or second-guessing what he says, then you and he are not ready for marriage.
People who are prepared to spend a life together should be able to communicate without feeling fear, apprehension, "walking on eggshells," or otherwise feeling uncomfortable. Tense and imporant as the subject of marriage may seem, if you and your boyfriend are going to spend a lifetime together, I can guarantee you that there will be other subjects you will have to talk about together that are a LOT more painful and difficult to approach. I've been happily married to the same man for 30 years now, and can tell you that you cannot begin to foresee the kinds of things you have to talk about together when you are going through life together.
So if the marriage thing is giving you and/or your boyfriend the heebie-jeebies and you're getting all squirmy talking about marriage to him, you and he still have a ways to go before you're ready to be married. I think you need to sit down and ask yourself why you are feeling the way you're feeling and why you're worried so much about what your boyfriend thinks. If you knew him well enough to be married to him, you'd have no doubts and you wouldn't be second-guessing yourself about what to say to him.
2007-08-13 12:40:24 · answer #4 · answered by Karin C 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Yea, you did scare him. If he was ready he would have asked you.... I think you need to tell him that even though its too late to take it back..... You just jumped the gun, you may have made him feel like less of a man by doing that too. If you chose to do it in front of people then it may have embarrassed him.
2007-08-13 15:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by LOVE BEING A MOMMY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might be just a ltitle bit distant. This has probably taken him by shock and is still trying to register it in his head.
2007-08-13 12:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by PlasticTrees 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't need our advice. You already solved the problem.
Good luck with everything.
2007-08-13 12:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋