So is this really terrible.....Today in the mail I received the invitation to my bridal shower. Ahh...I immediately felt ill like I was going to throw up. It's like the finality of it all....this is the real deal. I love my finace dearly....we have been together for over 8 years and really we are just making it "official", but there is something about marriage that terrifies me.
My parents had a nasty divorce and I have so many young friends who are either divorced or unhappily married. I just don't want to ever end up that way....marriage scares me!!!!
Is this bad to be actually feeling ill over this? Should I be worried? Any suggestions on how to calm myself and rid this nauseau.
2007-08-13 12:06:35 · 14 answers · asked by NoTurningBackNow 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its normal to be nervous but you shouldnt be! If you guys have been toghether for 8 years what difference is it going to make if you get married! It would actually be amazing knowing that your with the person you love forever! Best of luck!! <3
2007-08-13 12:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gosh I remember that too! I even get that feeling when I look at those pictures of my showers. Do you get uncomfortable with being the center of attention? I almost didn't walk down the isle. I didn't like all those eyes on me....I felt so uncomfortable that people were buying me gifts and fussing over me so much.
Same as you...my parents went through a nasty divorce, etc...it has NOTHING to do with you other than knowing what you DONT want to treat eachother like. I'm sure your fiancee fights fair and your communication factor is high. If not, remedy that immediately. Marriage is tough...I won't lie, but it's fabulous and I still adore my husband after 6 years of dating and 15 years married. We both just turned 40 years old.
I've been married over 15 years now and, while I love my husband and wedding pictures, it's still an overwhelming thought.
Please be gracious to your guests, dress appropriately, but comfortably.
Be kind to yourself and enjoy the festivities!
2007-08-13 19:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by Deanie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's put things into perspective here.
YOu and your man love each other, you have no plans to split. Marriage is not really going to change anything for you guys, honest. Your relationship should remain the same. After 8 years you should know each other pretty well.
Maybe instead of going the whole hog with a wedding with showers and things, you guys should of just gone off alone and got married on holiday? Is it too late to cancel showers and wedding plans and just elope?
Just think of marriage as one day out of your lives. Nothing has to change in your lives, it is just a legality. Of course it means a whole lot more than that but you guys are already committed to each other. This is just formalising it.
I understand marriage being a scary prospect to you after growing up with your parents nasty divorce hanging over your head, but you guys are NOT your parents. You have already shared 8 years of your life together.....Do you really see you guys having a nasty split in the future? He is not your Dad and You are not your Mum. You will undoubtedly have a different relationship and be looking for different things than what they did. Yeah, people split up, happens all the time. But you guys have already proven that you can last 8 years and still be in love. I think you are ready to take that step, you have already lasted longer than a lot of marriages.
Just living with someone, can still be unhappy, marriage doesnt automatically make people unhappy!
Maybe you have waited so long for this day and now it is almost here you are having a major melt down because the day is fineally here! If I were you I would grab my man and go away for a nice quiet weekend, away from wedding plans, showers, relatives etc....dont talk about the wedding at all, just relax and enjoy each others company. If you cant afford to go away, barricade yourself in your home and take the phone off the hook. Just spend some time reaffirming your love. I think you will find when it is all over, you will enjoy being married.
Enjoy the showers and things that people want to throw for you. They are showing you that they think you are important and deserve a little spoiling. Appreciate that people care for you and want you to have a wonderful wedding.
The wedding lasts just one day.......pamper yourself and enjoy. Then get ready for a lifetime of love with the man you adore at your side.
Marriage is not just an institution. It is a way of declaring your love to the world. It is showing mutual love and respect for one another. It is trust, security and that wonderful feeling of sharing something unique and special with that man that you love.
Good luck to you, and be happy.
Marriage is a good thing! xxx
2007-08-13 19:29:06 · answer #3 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You are uncertain about the level of commitment you are about to make. In some ways, this is normal. However, if you have any doubts at all about making a life-long commitment, now would be a good time to address them in the open.
Either talk to your wedding officiant (priest, rabbi, etc.) or seek a Marriage, Family, Children Counselor (MFCC). You need to talk about this issue before you get married. If you let it fester, you may end up in divorce..
2007-08-13 19:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Gregg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need to ask yourself is do you truley love him? Do you see yourself with him in 5, 10, 20, 50 years? Do you see yourself as the mother of his children? Are you truley happy in your relationship now? If you answered yes to all those questions then YES it will be ok. Marriage is not easy and do not let anyone tell you it is. You BOTH have to work on keeping the love alive and nowing how to work together. Keep your chin up and your food down. You will be just fine.
2007-08-13 19:46:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberly H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal to be nervous. With the way divorce is these days, who isn't connected to someone who went through a bad divorce. The thing is you have to tell yourself that you two are different. Just take things one day at a time, and don't let yourself become overwhelmed. And don't forget this day you're spending so much time on is supposed to be the GREATEST day of your life, so enjoy it.
2007-08-13 19:26:26 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your being nervous is a good sign, it means you are aware of other peoples mistakes and you obviously have learned from them. So therefore you won't make those same mistakes!
I agree with others here, marriage is not going to change your relationship, so enjoy your wedding day I am sure once the ceremony is over you will feel relieved!!
Funny story, in the limo on the way to myown wedding I also felt nauseous...my Grandmother was sitting next to me and offered me her purse. That made me laugh because I was definitely not going to puke in my Grandmother's purse! (and she was serious which made it even funnier!)
Good luck!
2007-08-13 22:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a normal thing to have the wedding gidders......You two have been together for a long time,so there is no real reason for you to start having doubts about your upcoming marriage.
2007-08-17 17:04:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kathy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to really think about if you wanna marry this man or not because if you're having bad thoughts and even getting sick about this then you may not be sure. You can't think about everybody else and apply that to yourself, you have to know that what the two of you have is real and able to last a lifetime.
2007-08-13 19:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by sha scrilla 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
this is a normal feeling...I recommend you going to pre-marital counseling so that you both can be on the same page...you need to both have the same foundation
God should be this foundation...people I know that that put God first have wonderful respectful marriages....
something to think about
good luck
2007-08-13 19:35:53 · answer #10 · answered by SUNSHINE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋