Did I permanently break the bond with my dog? And if so, how can I win his trust and love again?

Question

I've had my Husky for 5 years and when I got him as I pup, I loved him very much. But there were times when he misbehaved and I would smack,push, and kinda beat him. I did it several times until he was around six months old then I realized how bad I was treating him so I vowed to him I would never do that again and we bonded so closely. We would rough play and had alot of fun! It seemed like he trusted me again after awhile. After 4 years of not laying a hand on him everything was beautiful until I caught him misbehaving and I did it again! That day I was so stressed out (I know, no excuse).I told him I was sorry and I started to cry. At first he was hesitant to approach me, but now he does and he can still give me kisses. That was two weeks ago and I haven't laid a hand on him since, but he won't rough play with me anymore. The thing is I moved out of state and won't be back for 4 months. My brother is taking care of him, but I'm afraid he won't bond with me anymore. Help us please.

I am planning on moving him to the state I moved to and will be visiting him every 4 months. I know it's no excuse for what I did and I am truely sorry.

Answer 1

It is good that you realized your problem. I wouldn't be surprised if your dog bit the crap out of you. I hope u change and get help. Please learn how to manage your anger before you have any children.

He will not bond with you anymore because he will associate u with trauma and abuse. sorry to say that, but it's sad but true.

Answer 2

I give you credit for having the courage to admit what you have done and ask for help on repairing it. I really couldn't tell you what will happen other than dogs truly are forgiving so there is a chance you will be able to bond again. I am glad you realize it is wrong. However you knew that the last and could not control yourself. I am not pointing that out to kick you when you are down. I am pointing that out to show you that you can't be sure it won't happen again. I hope you will get some counseling and learn how to control it. Then you won't ever have to go thru this kind of guilt and anguish again and hopefully have a happy life with your pup. But for his sake, if you do not take steps to contorl, please give him up so he can have a good life. I hope you will be able to find the help you need.

And I hope it doesn't sound like I am saying you need years of counseling - I would have no idea and actually if I had to guess I would think not becasue you obvioulsy have a good heart. Or you would not feel so bad. You just have a lack of control.

Answer 3

I think that it is great that you can admit that you have an anger problem because it is the first step to recovery. Take those 4 months that you will be away from your dog to get some help for yourself. Unlike what most everyone else is saying, I wouldn't find your dog another home. I think that 4 months is enough time to at least get your anger under control. In time I think that he will forgive you and trust you again just don't expect it to happen over night. I don't like animal abuse, but you seem really sincere and regretful for what you have done, so I am not going to chew you out. Most churches offer free counseling. I hope that you get the help that you need but please promise me that you will let your brother keep him until you get better.

Answer 4

Thank goodness your taking the steps necessary for the safety of your pet. It sounds like you are sincere about your "mistakes", and im sure plenty of people here will yell at you for your terrible actions, so i will refrain. Before anyone can help you, more of your story must be told. I am curious how you treat others in your life? did you have any form of abuse as a child? have you ever abused any other animal, including humans? what is stressing you out so, that you must take it out on your dog? and why do you have no other outlet for that stress? If you are so concerned with having a bond with your dog, why do you beat him?

As far as the current situation with your pup, and to answer your question specifically, dogs are amazing animals and astound me everyday with their ability to "forgive and forget". I think more importantly YOU need to realize that the situation is not healthy for you or your pet, and therefore you have a responsibility to make his life as good as it can be. Personally, i feel you should not own any pet at this point. Please give your dog to a good home, to a family that will love and respect him. In the mean time, you need to get yourself into some counseling to conquer these problems, including learning how to cope with your stress, and then perhaps, if safety of your pet is assured, try pet ownership again. Good luck, and please do not beat your dog EVER again. If you need an outlet to vent your stress, email me, i can take it, your dog cant.

Answer 5

I'm glad you recognize how you have not been a great friend to your dog and the possible damage you have done to your friendship.

Some dogs are very forgiving and others get scarred for life. I think that from here on out, you must learn to treat him like the precious pearl that his is in your life.

If you had any friends treating you like you've treated your dog, how would you feel toward them? I think you'd always be looking over your shoulder anticipating that you could flip out on them again. It's not to say that you're dog won't forgive you, but you have given him a lot of reasons to seek out and bond with others who will freely give unconditional love.

Answer 6

Not to be mean or anything...but there is really no reason to beat on a dog. There are so many better ways to discipline a dog. You will just have to work with him again. I just want you to know...if you keep up "laying a hand on your dog" he is a big boy and could ultimately defend himself...then you'd be in trouble. Just never hit him again. You can use noises or other training methods to stop certain behaviors....Hope all goes well with the two of you.

Answer 7

You truly need help with your anger management problem. Please seek the help of a professional so that you never do this to your dog ever,ever again. Behavior like this is not at all normal, and would actually be considered criminal in most jurisdictions.
As to whether your dog will bond with you anymore, it really just depends. They are very forgiving creatures, but they too have their limits. Who can blame him for not wanting to "rough play" with you any more, it reminds him of being beaten. Just try to interact with him in a low-key, calm manner. That's what dogs are really looking for.
Good luck, and please seek help. If you can't or won't get help, stay away from animals, including your dog.

Answer 8

Dogs have long memories and remembers every time it was afraid of you. You can't make this go away. You can only not make the dog ever afraid of you again. You have what is now called a "broke" dog and it will never fully trust you again. Even if you are yelling at something else the dog will tuck tail and slink away from you.

Answer 9

The trust a dog gives you is an amazing thing. The problem is that they keep trusting in hope of a little love and attention. If you really love your pup, he will get used to you again when you get back, and, if you don't EVER do this again, he will love you and trust you unconditionally. I don't think he will hate you, they don't seem to have it in them.

Answer 10

Dogs are forgiving, but you have definitely broken his trust.

Only time will tell of he will ever completely trust you again.

Just so you know, there is no perfect dog that never misbehaves, or tries to.

I have the best dogs in the world, and they are well trained in commands and manners, but:

They dig under my fence to go next door for avocados that have fallen from my neighbors tree during avocado season (they bring them back to thier own yard to eat), have occasional "accidents" if I am gone too long, rip up mail if they can get it, would eat trash if they could get it, and one of them kills rats and tries to bring them in the house.

I would never think of smacking them around or beating them.
They are being dogs!

In fairness to the dog, please consider re-homing him or giving him to your brother until you get your anger under control.

Answer 11

Perhaps you should thank your lucky stars that your dog does apparently love you... because if it didn't, you probably would have had your butt handed back to you on a platter! STOP smacking the dog around... bad days are going to continue to happen, why should you screw the dogs day up too!