My fiance wanted to out to a strip club with his friends tomorrow night but I told him no because I know the last time he went he got 2 lap dances from some stripper skank. I know it's wrong to be jealous but I can't help thinking he's going just to see her again. I mean why else would he pay for her twice? When he said why not, I just lied and said I already bought tickets for us to see a ballet which I hadn' t but I bought today just so he wouldn't go. Is it wrong for me to be so jealous?
2007-08-13 11:44:48 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes it is totally normal to be jealous or else you would not be human, plus its actually a rational thing because some of those strippers services include "MORE" than just lap dances! Next time ask if you can join him if he indeed has nothing to hide (it might just turn him on)! Seriously I suggest that you first try to sit down and have a rational discussion and ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed if he says something stupid like "I wouldn't care!" Then immediately call your girlfriends up and arrange a drunken ladies night out at the raunchiest male strip club you can find and don't "stumble" home till day break! I'll admit this may create a bigger problem and also cause a fight but at least it will give him a taste of his own medicine and you something to smile about and possibly a bargaining chip to use if this issue should come up again in the future! (Sorry folks that's just the way I roll, so don't take it personal or try to lecture me on my answer that is what I would do-you give them a chance if it does not work take action!! )
2007-08-13 12:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by thickwitit1980 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well lap dances are only mobile porno mags at the end of the day - and chances are that's all he sees in this particular stripper - the same as a favorite centrefold only more so. It is okay to be jealous, but make an allowance - most men will continue to look at other women (be they real, in magazines or on videos) even while in a relatioship and this is by no means the same (or even close) to expressing any form of dissastisfaction with the woman they are with.
2007-08-13 11:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by a1mandrake 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong. It just means you're still young! I've been with my man for 12 years starting at age 21. I would get so upset if he even suggested going to a strip club! Now at 36, I'm like "Go ahead!" Guys have more chance hooking up with a regular girl at a regular bar than a stripper at a strip club. Remember that next time he wants to go to a regular bar!
2007-08-13 11:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is normal to feel that way. A lot of people disagree with this subject because they see no harm in it. It is all in fun. Well coming from a woman and a wife I can tell you that some of us wives don't see it as fun. It is insulting to us that you want to see other women naked and rubbing all over you. Is that really respectful to your wife? It goes both ways, male strip clubs are just as bad. If you want to have a good time with the buddies, why not have a poker night, or play some football or something? If your wife is against strip clubs, how hard is it to simply listen to her feelings and respect how she feels?
2007-08-13 12:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by hazeleyes1279 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a trust issue. If you truly trust your guy, don't make a big deal of it. I wouldn't particular care for my man to go to a strip club either and it would probably bother me too. At least he isn't sneaking around behind your back to go, he told you upfront. He's going with his buddies for a guys night out. I would make a compromise that there are no lap dances, and the next time Chip N Dale are in town he should keep his mouth shut and you should have a blast!
2007-08-13 11:53:09 · answer #5 · answered by skkydreemer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want to lose your man and have him feel like he can't be honest with you then you keep up what your doing. Men need to have their boys time and if he wants to get a little lap dance then you need to get over it. You NEED to let him have some freedom. When he starts asking for permission every week to go to a strip club and your calling him and he doesn't pick up and then comes home claiming he didn't hear the phone or some bullshyt then you can get upset. Until then, let him be. It's the mature and realistic way to go.
2007-08-13 11:55:20 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry Vodka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you go with him once, and you can see for yourself how he acts in that situation. If he is coming home to you, and not late or not coming in at all, you really have nothing to worry about, usually with the strip clubs - guys just have to show off to their buddy's anyway - prove their "manliness". Also, you should talk to him and let him know how you feel. Better that you get it out in the open and have trust for each other, otherwise, you know he likes to do this and he will be forced to sneak around behind your back. HE LOVES YOU or would not be marrying you. the stripper thing just pumps his ego abit.
2007-08-13 11:55:13 · answer #7 · answered by brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to be jealous. It is like he's cheating or he wants to. If he was satisfied with you he wouldn't feel the need. Tell him you are going to a male strip club and get a big ding dong rubbed in your face and see what he says. I bet he thinks twice. If he still insists, break up with him now. Once a pig, always a pig.
2007-08-13 11:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by missmindi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is very normal for you to feel jealous. Judging you from what you wrote, you don't want your guy to go to strip club and pay for lap dance. You don't like it because it is making you feel insecure about his love and commitment to you. You don't like it because you worry about him falling for the stripper.
Actually I thought that what he is doing is very disrespectful and degrading to you. He knows that you don't want him to go to a strip club. He is making you feel jealous, worried, and insecure.
You asked, "Is it wrong for me to be so jealous?" My answer is NO, NOT AT ALL. Now I want to ask you questions: Are you okay about being with a guy who pays for this type of entertainment? Are you okay about being with a guy who is not attentive to your concern? and do you want to keep lying to him to discourage him from going to a strip club?
2007-08-13 12:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by an ordinary girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its wrong to be jealous, but you have every right in this situation.
as a guy, i realize your fiance probably wont do anything extreme with the strippers, but he needs to make a committment and respect the fact that you might not like the idea.
I mean if my finance went to.. i ono.. male strip club, id be pretty pissed
2007-08-13 11:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mr.Deeds 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋