I feel like the bad person and extremely guilty for not wanting to return to my ex-husband. My daughter is 15 and really wants to see her family back together.
We divorced about 5 years ago, but have not been able to move on. My daughter has been living in hope also that we would get back together as a family.
I tried to talk to my ex-husband today about things I want to make sure that I can do. (keep in contact with friends/ family, spend money freely, buy food items that I like to eat). He did not want to discuss it.
Instead, he kept saying that I have created havoc by leaving so many times.
Now, I have to give my daughter an answer and she will be sad to be staying with me and leaving her Dad/ grandmother. I don't want to hurt her, but want to do what is right.....
I don't want to make things worse than they already are, but there is not easy solution.
My ex keeps pushing me to work on the move/ transition.
2007-08-13 09:48:00 · 5 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
pushing by verbal commands is a form of CONTROL. You should ask yourself if you are his doormat for most certainly that is the way he is treating you CONSTANTLY.give your daughter an answer- Sweetheart I have come to a decision- a new home, school and a new and different life. You continue to put the blame on yourself- enough of that- you wanted you daughter (now you have her) your contract job is about to end (find a new job), hate living with your parents because they manipulate you (time for your own home), do you really think things are going to be any better with your X considering he will not discuss your wants and needs. Ive been divorced for many many years and my children (35-36) still think we should get back together as a family. That is a thought of child- no matter how old they are- it is their ultimate wish. Understand that last word "wish". Of course there is no easy solution if there were than we would have no worries. You know how your life would be and you would probably end up leaving again, so why would you put yourself Thur the misery? Best to start the next chapter of your life, with your daughter and without your X.
2007-08-13 10:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is old enough to understand what emotional abuse is. The things you mentioned he wont allow are signs of an abuser. You need to explain this to her. FInd a list online of signs of an abusive man (mental abuse) and show it to her and how many of those things on the list he does. Make sure you also print out the kind of damage it does to someone too. Shes not a baby and should realize you deserve a decent life.
2007-08-13 10:19:05 · answer #2 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok since your answer seems like you don't wanna get back with him then do that. Do not get back with him, this will only cause more problems. After all, ur daughters relationship should remain the same even if you are separeted, let her know she is loved no matter what, but the relationship between you too is not possible anymore
2007-08-13 09:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by sourgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're actually not a undesirable individual for telling this youthful guy you're actually not fascinated in persevering with a dating with him. the explanation he have been given so mad grew to become into that he hadn't "gotten any" yet. If he had "gotten some" already you does not have heard from him lower back. So saying he enjoyed you and you will shattered him grew to become right into a lie, he does not love you and he's not shattered. he's purely attempting to make you sense to blame and hoping to "get some". i wish you do not fall for it or sense undesirable anymore over ending issues with him as you probably did. that's fairly useful to contemplate rethinking getting below the effect of alcohol even hardly at this element because it could make you liable to various countless issues. and you may evaluate protecting "making out" for somebody you're in a lengthy term dating with. yet besides.
2016-10-15 05:19:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went through a divorce and it is very hard... my children still to this day will ask if me and their dad will ever get back together ( even though he has remarried ). it is a lifestyle your child desires and nothing more. they can not comprehend why you would leave therefore can not understand why you can't just work it out.... time heals all wounds.... be supportive her relationship with her dad and go out of your way to make sure it stays positive.... and good luck!!
2007-08-13 09:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jeanette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋