sould i just end it??

Question

i'm 14 and i have been going out with this guy for three years. i love him but i'm not in love with him... you know..? it is ardto look at him, knowing i have dougts in our relationship. i feel like there nothing left for me in him but what do i do?? he's kind generous and everything i want but wat do i tell him?? help... !

Answer 1

Sweet Jesus, end it already.

Answer 2

I always say if you're unhappy, you need to change something.

If you're unhappy with your boyfriend then I think it's time.

Take a deep breath and think about it first though. Don't jump to answers without thinking first.

If you do want to end it, just tell him exactly how you feel, truth makes things easier for both sides in the end. Closure is what a lot of people are looking for after a relationship, I know I was for awhile.

You've had a long term relationship and you know what it's like. You've gained something from being with him. You've got a few years left, and if he is your soul mate I guarantee things will work out even if you end it. Fate has a funny way of working.

Answer 3

Do your best not to hurt him. It sounds like he's a worthwhile guy. That being said, don't put it off any longer!! You are both being cheated out of happiness. (And, as much as I hate to say it, you're just kids! There is a world absolutely full of other people out there!)

Maybe talk about the future (college, kids, marriage, careers, etc.) Talk about what you know you do or don't want. Maybe both of you will realize that you don't want the same things and can mutually call it off. Who knows, he may feel the same as you do...

Breaking up is hard, there never is a right time to do it, especially when you still care. Please be honest, don't accuse, don't point fingers, and you have to tell him it's over for good, don't give him false hope and drag it out.

DO NOT have someone else do it for you. That's immature, disrespectful, cowardly and a million other negative things. If you love him, you owe him more than that. Chances are he'd hate you for it. Breaking up doesn't mean that you'll never see him again, right? (Sitting next to you in class?) You'd have to answer to him eventually.

If you aren't good at getting things out verbally, write him a letter explaining yourself, but, please, tell him you are breaking up with him face to face.

I hate breaking up, good luck to you!

Answer 4

Just break up with him. At this stage in your life, it's not that serious really. You've got years and years before things really need to be serious, so just let him go. You could find someone else, but it's probably best to just chill for a while, hang out with some girlfriends, go shopping and enjoy just hanging out with guys as friends for now.

Answer 5

Yes, I get it. You can love someone for who they are, but they are NOT in Love with that person. A relationship is meant for someone to be happy with the other person. If he is not the one, then it is very much unfair to the both of you if you guys are in this relationship. It will be harder for the both of you if you stay in a relationship longer, and what if he is in love with you? So, do what is right, be honest.

Answer 6

Man, you're friggin' 14! It's almost laughably amazing to me how all these "children" are commenting on love and relationships, asking all these "mature" questions, like they've got a handle on love and how it's supposed to work, even as their "relationships" spiral out of control, their budding youthful self-confidence is shaken, and nothing makes sense. It's because you're friggin' 14!

I'm 38, and love is still a puzzle--so other than developing a philosophical view on love and all its manifestations, you're pretty much stuck knowing that. As you age, love becomes a more complex, frightening, exhilirating, painful and life-changing experience. Age is a definitive bearer of how you behave and thrive, and what you deem necessary, in a love relationship. It's almost impossible to answer your question without sounding like someone's parent, which I am not, thank you very much, but at my age, I've learned a few things about love to be of use.

First, you're friggin'14! You've supposedly been "in love" with this "guy" for three years. That would have made you 11 when you met him. Was there anyone else worrying about book reports, finding a good private spot to read at lunch, and the upcoming speech tournament but me? O, I guess not. At 11, for me, boys were detestable, bra-snapping goons who could all eat crap and die for all I cared. I knew a few friends who "liked" boys, even went out on what was considered dates with them, but none of those girls ever, ever explained or talked about these little moments with boys in quite the same manner you've just related. It's almost frightening how "mature" young girls believe themselves to be in the dating game these days. I shudder to imagine what kind of 20 year old woman you will become. Jaded, disillusioned and lost would be my guess, but I suppose I'm just pessimistic by nature.

The fact that you don't even know whether or not you should break up with a boy you're no longer in love with is proof-positive that you're friggin' 14! I mean, I don't need anyone to tell me this simple bit of information. It follows the logic; no love=break up; love=stay together. It doesn't matter how nice and kind and generous he is--you obviously no longer want that, or him, in your life. So break up with the boy.

But may I also give another bit of advice. You've got all your life to be in "serious long-term" relationships. Why cut yourself off from the wonderful process of growing to know yourself better, what you're capable of within your own power, your own body, your own mind? The world is yours to find whatever glory or infamity you'll have. With all the glorious possibilities out there for you, why are you stampeding to the one area of life that will pretty much take care of itself in the appropriate time? If we were supposed to be dating instead of going to school and getting an education at 11, then life would be lived a little in reverse, eh?

Remember, with love and relationships come great emotional responsibility--to yourself and your future partner(s). If you give yourself the time to grow and adapt and change into the lovely, intelligent, self-aware young woman you are destined to, silly, self-conscious questions like this need not ever be asked, esp. of a bunch of strangers on Yahoo! Answers.

Answer 7

Mami i been in the same situation. i went out with this boy angel that i thought i loved. but he was more like a little brother to me than a boyfriend. we went out for a long time but i didn*t wanna break his heart cuz i loved him but like i didn*t. jus like u said. just break up with him but have a friend do it for you if you don*t have da strength. you*ll feel bad for a while but eventually another guy will come along && you gonna 4get bout it. you will have thoughts of to take him bac or not wen he ask u. DONT TAKE HIM BACK!!! you will probably want 2 but chu gonna regret it in da end if u dont end diz completely from da start. if u havin doubts ya aint meant 2 be.

Answer 8

Ok girl you're in the same page i was. You're not in love with him, but he's kind and generous. You know you love him but you should know that you can't lose someone that you know, give it some time but if you really want to end his and your relationship go ahead. he'll understand.

Answer 9

Trust me its a lot easier to tell him when you don't have it hurting you i mean it will hurt no matter what but you have to be true to your feelings cause other wise you could just be hurting him more, i Just broke up with my bf and it was easier to do what was best for him i asked him using http://hikkup.com how he felt about me and he said he loved me but didn't want to be with me right now because of a time thing and didn't want to hurt me and still wanted to be a best friend of mine and i did what made him better in the long run no matter how much it hurt me

Answer 10

You are 14, no need to be tied down so young. You should be having fun, not worrying about relationships.

Answer 11

Let's place bets on how many STDs this girl will have by the age of 18...