problems with approaching guys...?

Question

I know that it is not always the guys responsibility to approach the girl, that the girl can do it sometimes....but I never know when the right time is?
You see, I dont like approaching guys that have girlfriends. But theres no real way of telling and I hate that. =[ So if a guy seems not interested, should I assume he has a girlfriend and not approach him? Should I assume that he does not want to be approached either way?
How can I prevent myself from embarrassment....I mean...I know its unavoidable for the most part because I have embarrassed myself a good amount of times...but does anyone have any suggestions as to when I should approach a guy? Any and all personal experiences welcome please. Thanks.

Also, I dont suck too terribly at the actual approaching. I mean, I just find a way to make conversation...casual questions about whatever is going on at the time....is that too incredibly obvious? Or is it just lame? I mean....after "Hi", what else is there to say? I mostly just ask question to get things going.

Answer 1

Well, first of all you are gorgeous! There is NOTHING to be embarrassed about.

But, I have the same problem as you. What the heck do I say!?! It really depends on where you are. I'm no expert but I do have a couple tips.

Some advice that I can give you is that you always have to add a little bit of humor into your conversations. For example, a common one that I use is: say hey what's up? And if he says nothing then say well that was very detailed and responsive.

It also depends on what type of guys you like. If you like skater guys then talk to them about skating. If you like nerds then talk to them about things that confuse you in school.

I really hope I could help! Fell free to e-mail me.

Answer 2

If he's with a girl at the time I would let that one go.
If he is by himself and you establish eye contact no matter where go in for the kill. You are a very attractive young lady and should never be embarrassed to talk to anyone. Personally, I have found that humor is a really great way to break the ice. I will always try to find out if a lady is involved so I'll just flat out ask them "are you single?" They'll either say yes or no or get lost (something to that effect). If they say they are single I'll then say with surprise, "You don't have a boyfriend?" They answer No, then I'll say I can't believe this! We have a lot in common, because I don't have a boyfriend either!!! We should go have a drink or dinner together and talk about what else we have in common. It may seem cheesy, but for whatever reason it seems to work. I just think people want someone who can make them smile and laugh, yet be somewhat straightforward. With your looks you should have no worries!

Answer 3

Don't try too hard. Maybe the guy is thinking that your the one involved. If that is your picture, your very pretty and that can be intimidating sometimes to guys. When you are in a conversation with a guy, find something that he likes that you like, as in some activity, then focus on that for a short time and see if it might be something you two end up doing together. As for the guy dating someone, hopefully he is honest, and who knows, he might be your soulmate. Take some chances and let yourself have fun. The reason people date is to find that special someone that they were meant to be with. By the way, you will get embarrassed and hurt and lied to eventually, depending on where you are meeting these guys. Good luck to you and hope you find that guy out there that has been looking for you.

Answer 4

Your position is not envyable. Guys have it easy in this department as it's common, expected, and quite socially acceptable for us to approach women. This is not the case for you. It's a double standard, it's not fair, and outright lame, but, for the time being, it is the way it is.

Still, this does not leave you without any tools to get what you want. As a woman, it's your job to get noticed. In order to be noticed, you need to 1) stick out physically, if you look like everyone else, or simply are not attractive, being noticed is possible, but much more difficult, 2) be interesting, if some dude notices you looking smashing and starts talking to you, or even engaging you with non-verbal cues, you need to be interesting to keep or even peak his interest. Be a flirt, but dn't be cheap about it. The worst thing in the world is an overzealous flirt. I am engaged, but in my dating years, I couldn't stand these sorts of girls. The ones that lay it on really thick and act, roughly, like Paris Hilton. These girls make me wish I walked around with a bamboo cain to give them a good lashing. All kidding aside, be a tasteful, clever flirt. This can mean a smile (which goes a long way btw), or in conversation. If you haven't made your way to a conversation, make yourself accessible to your victim. Don't stand in the middle of a group of women. That's intimidating to a guy, and is not condusive to him hitting on you. So, break away from the pack, walk past him, make eye contact (briefly) and smile. Then position yourself somewhere he can follow you (like the bar) to try and get him to commit to some chatter.

Once you get talking, be friendly, AND interesting. Talk of sexuality, religion, politics and the like are WILDLY inappropriate. In any event, if said guy feels a connection, but is in a relationship, and he is made of proper moral fiber, he will mention is lady. If he says nothing, it means he either is single, or he wants you to believe that he is. You cannot find out which one it is until you get to know him better.

As far as the fear of gettin g shot down goes, this should not be a real concern for you, if you follow what I've been telling you. You should NOT be instigating social contact with any guy you have not met before. A lot of guys don't like this one bit, and might shy away if you do.

However, if you MUST assume the other gender's social role, realize that there is nothing to be lost in any meeting with a person if you don't know them, seeing as, well, you don't know them. There will be 3.3 billion other men you can talk to if the one you were talking to decides you are too aggressive.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I always found that approaching a girl in a place where you share a common interest is the best bet. Like if you see them looking at a CD you like, or in a bookstore. Concerts are great places. Gives you something in common right away to talk about. Don't be afraid to approach guys, we love it! Don't be embarrassed, I mean what's the big deal about hearing the word "No" anyway.

Answer 6

First, completely ignore Nickname. Guys (as long as they're not sickos) will probably feel uncomfortable the less clothes you where.

Second, embarrassing things like this happen all the time. As long as you definitely did not know that guy had a girlfriend, you shouldn't feel bad for approaching him. Just remember to back off and respectfully apologize when he tells you. He'll probably appreciate it and won't have any hard feelings.

Answer 7

nowadays we are now in an era where both sexes are considered equal so just observe what the guys are doing and rehearse it,ladies have a big advantage on this case because some of the guys are too intimidated with the oposite sex approaching them let alone asking them if they or he has a girlfreind,just be charming,make sure you dont look too slutty or too cheap when approaching or talking to guys,just be direct with your intentions,and always give them an inticing and mysterious smile that should do the trick

Answer 8

Practice makes perfect. All guys liked to be approached. Not all guys like to be pursued. So approach all you want but be careful not to dominate. Let him have the responsibility to continue the conversation or just walk away with a smile. Remember a smile will usually knock them dead.

Answer 9

Hey listen I've been in this sort of sitiation, and being 14 isn't easy. First don't sweat it, if he is interested in you ...you'll know!!! Now if you like the guy then try and hang around him, like talk in class, or try to enter and exit the class room next to him. Just watch out for little red flags...1.Take your friends into consideration, but not too much. 2.If you suspect that there is another girl, do some research. 3.If he is breaking up with another girl to be with you, chances are he'll do the same to you.

Answer 10

you're doing fine. don't make a big thing out of nothing. just because some stranger doesn't get all warm and fuzzy because you said hi to him is meaningless. there could be a thousand reasons he doesn't respond with more warmth. i have noticed a strange coincidence of women, who i consider attractive, approaching me at times when i'm busy or with someone else. it's puzzling because, on those occasions, if the contact had occurred an hour earlier or later. there would likely be a different conclusion.