For the record, we are all in our 30's. My best friend was the most drunk out of anyone. When I was helping her to the car, another friend needed something out of the truck so I asked my husband to step in and walk her to her car. He came over and told me that while he was helping her, she grabbed his package twice and he pulled her away. The third time he called her husband over (who was trying to get things together to load in their vehicle) and asked him to take care of her. Now, the next day, he wants me to talk to her about her behavior with him. We both had a great time at the party and I trust my husband and don't really feel anything about the situation because he told me. I don't feel its neccessary to scold her when she would never have done that without being drunk. Do I need to say something to her?
2007-08-13 07:21:45 · 20 answers · asked by shelby 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Your first commitment is to your husband. He asked you to do it and I think you should. It doesn't have to be a big huge thing - just tell her what she did and tell her he and you did not apprecieate it and then drop it for now.
2007-08-13 07:29:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She may not remember she did it.
You should joke with her about it first. Say.... "soooo..... you remember going for a little rub and tug with my hubby after the party???? -- a little frisky were ya?" Then laugh about it ha ha ha so she gets disarmed.
If she says, "Oh, I am soooo sorry... I didn't realize what I was doing" or ".... I thought it was MY husband, I was so drunk" or some other excuse and apology, then have a good laugh, and then mildly say, "Hey - it kind of made Hubby uncomfortable - he wasn't sure what you were up to there...." You know - throw the serious part in at the end.
She'll probably apologize up and down and say that she never meant anything etc.
If she's all offended or upset at you, or whatever, then she's not reacting appropriately, in which case, you can simply say "look, my husband asked that I discuss it with you, because he didn't think it was great that you grabbed his b2lls at the party. It's not right, so don't do it again." But that probably won't be necessary.
2007-08-13 07:45:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
The next time you are invited somewhere and this person is there you make sure that she does not repeat what she did. You trust your husband so I would suggest that he does the talking about what happened in a discreet way and since she is your best friend, you could suggest perhaps that you would prefer that all of you do not drink so much as to act foolishly. This way, she wouldn't feel humiliated because you are including the whole group.
Have a wonderful week-end!
2007-08-17 07:13:12 · answer #3 · answered by montralia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely but not in a scolding way. Just say, "Hey did you know you grabbed ______ "package" last night when he was helping you to the car...luckily your husband didn't see..my husband was annoyed with you (laugh while saying this)."
She'll probably be embarrassed and apologize. It should be brought to her attention because (1) your husband asked you to and (2) she needs to be more responsible with her drinking.
I've done some dumb sh-- drinking. I am not a big drinker anymore but every time I did something and someone told me it helped me to quit drinking period. I didn't want to always be an a--.
2007-08-13 08:08:45 · answer #4 · answered by Wonder Woman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should tell her as a friend that in the future she should probably drink less. Then ask her if she remembers anything from that interaction. If she doesn't, tell her what your husband remembered. Hopefully she'll be embarrassed by it. If she sees nothing wrong with what she did, it may have been intentional. In that case, it would probably be wise to not hang out with her anymore or only hang out in sober situations. I'm sure what she did made your husband feel very awkward and I'm sure that you would expect him to stand up for you if he had a drunk friend that was making the moves on you. Your loyalty should lie with your husband first, than your friends.
2007-08-13 07:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by katysru19 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
um yes you do!!! would u like it if one of his friend grabbed ur breatss in a druken stupor and then disregarded ur feelings of being violated. drunk or not its not an excuse. u just want to avoid the awkward conversation which is poor on ur part bc ur obligation is to your husband first? check ur friend if u consider her a good fri nd, she needs to hear how drunk and out of control she was so its best to let her know she she can control her drinking so she does not get to that point again.
2007-08-13 07:49:06 · answer #6 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, someone should talk to her, although I don't know that it should be you, I think it should be you and your husband.
If you don't say something now, it can ruin a friendship down the road. By both of you talking to her, she understands that you two are a team, that you are open and honest with each other, AND drunk or not, her behaviour was very inappropriate.
Best of luck.
2007-08-13 07:31:25 · answer #7 · answered by halestrm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep, you should mention it to her. She'll get the point that it was inappropriate. She probably won't even remember it. You could talk to her about getting too drunk to control herself. You should empathize with your husband's feelings of being violated. If it was a man who had gotten drunk and grabbed a married woman's privates, he would have been beaten and/or taken to jail.
2007-08-13 07:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Funkanimus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No harm done right? She was having a good time like everyone else. Hubby shouldn't make a big deal out of it. It's 2007. He needs to let his hair down and not be so up tight with things. Have fun.
2007-08-13 09:49:49 · answer #9 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes - say something. If your husband asked you to say something then you should honor his request. You don't have to scold her, but bring it up. I think being drunk is a poor excuse for people to act inapporiately.
2007-08-13 09:27:23 · answer #10 · answered by GingerGirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋