Medical Miracles
A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work."
An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks."
The Irishman says, "That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks."
The American says, "Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!"
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2007-08-13 07:16:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Trade Talks
One day as President Clinton was getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he had a baby pig under each arm.
The Marine guard snapped to attention, salutes, and said: ''Nice pigs, sir.''
The President replied, ''These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hillary, and I got one for Chelsea.''
The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, ''Nice trade, sir'''
2007-08-13 07:17:06 · update #1
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling...
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier.
A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened.
"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!'"
"He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!'"
"We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
2007-08-13 07:17:31 · update #2
Bush Declares War On Bird Flu
Saying that "America must take a preemptive approach to the War on Bird Flu," President Bush launched a nuclear attack on Turkey today. He said the Canary Islands are next...
2007-08-13 07:18:00 · update #3
......from comedycentral.com :) hope you enjoy
2007-08-13 07:20:27 · update #4
LOL you get a big star!
2007-08-13 07:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well the third one. i heard was two marines camping and they came across some tracks and the one says those are deer and the other disagreed saying that they were moose tracks. they were still arguing when the train hit them.
2007-08-19 07:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha the hogs* must have been cute
yay! i got first star
2007-08-13 14:25:52 · answer #3 · answered by PinakaFaltizan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha! I like the second one!!
2007-08-13 14:24:30 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe Anne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love the Bush jokes...... they're closest to the truth...
2007-08-20 16:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of them are funny.
2007-08-20 13:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by candle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats funny, hehes
*chuckles*
2007-08-18 08:37:11 · answer #7 · answered by HumanBeingOnEarth! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yay!!
2007-08-21 08:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by Only Me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol LOVE the first one! :D
2007-08-13 14:50:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol nice job!
2007-08-13 14:24:18 · answer #10 · answered by gothpunkrocker91 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋