we've been dating for 2 years and he just isn't ready for anything. i totally respect that but i tried the other night we were watching a romantic movie and i went over to him, sat down on him and started to unbutton his pants. he's like "what are you doing?" and i was like "shh.." and then i was about to give him oral and he's like "get away that is nasty and so wrong." i was like "what is wrong with you!" i left and then talked to my bff and she said that he's just "holding on to me because he knows other guys want me and he's jealous." i was like wtf. so what do i do?
i'm 18, he's 19.
2007-08-13 06:30:51 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was going to give him oral and i WAS NOT even expecting anything in return!
2007-08-13 06:32:32 · update #1
i've tried other things besides oral like but he never wants anything.
2007-08-13 06:36:25 · update #2
i've had sex with one other guy before.
and he knows that. so if he wants me to be his only one or something than idk why i'm still with him.
2007-08-13 06:43:41 · update #3
i just want him to be happy =(
2007-08-13 06:45:21 · update #4
He's gay. Or super-religious. Either way, if someone thinks that sex is "nasty and wrong", then you will never enjoy yourself with them.
2007-08-13 06:35:23 · answer #1 · answered by BK 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
First off, 2 years and he isn't ready?? There are danger signals in that alone.. Ok, fair enough if, for religious reasons, he doesn't want to pursue a sexual relationship, but otherwise it just strikes me as odd. Maybe it was the fact that you were watching a 'romantic' movie (rather than a porno) that made him react in this way - perhaps he was thinking innocently of all the cute, romantic stuff, and such a bold move from you threw him a bit. Maybe you just caught him off guard, if it was unexpected.. I don't know. Even if you did, though, i have never met a guy who doesn't like oral sex. Maybe he's gay? What your friend says makes no sense at all. If he was 'holding so tightly onto you' why would he say something like that to make you feel dirty, for only wanting to please him? I'd question the relationship, sweetie, i really would.
2007-08-13 13:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by Libra ♎ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he is morally conservative and you are not. In other words, you have different moral values and interests. Bad combination. Honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with you or him. You just are not on the same page. Maybe you'd best let him go and find a guy that will appreciate you for what you are and will enjoy it! If you really want to make it work, though, you two need to sit down and have a serious talk about your sexual expectations and see if you can agree. Otherwise, you're both wasting your time. Good luck!
2007-08-13 13:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is he a Christian? It's probably part of his morals to wait until mairaige. If you've been together for two years the two of you should have discussed this by now. If he just thinks sex is totally disgusting and doesn't want it with anybody, that is strange but there may be a reason such as him being molested as a child or something. This too you should have talked about long before. You can either respect his feelings and wait until he is ready or find someone else who is willing to fulfil your needs. Whattever your choice, please be honeest with him.
2007-08-13 13:39:47 · answer #4 · answered by Devil's Plaything 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is weird! Well as someone stated yes its probably some type of morals behind it or things its gross. That is soo weird. I have this baffled look on my face :/
That doesn't sound good though, its showing that you may be more sexually active then he is. You should sit him down and mention this to him again to get some answers from him. If he's just holding on to you because other guys want you...then that's kind of you just being a possession. Does he tell you that he loves you/likes you? Hmm...If he does then it's got to be morals of some kind.
Best Wishes
2007-08-13 13:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by artsygal_cc86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm
well my exgirlfriend/best friend is dating a guy who just doesnt want to have sex for some unknown reason, and she's ok with that because they have a deep relationship.
all i can say is you should respect the fact he doesnt want to have sex, and mabey talk to him about it. if its a religion thing like he doesnt believe in sex before marraige then that would include oral sex.
he could also just have a thing against oral.. i know a guy who refuses to date a girl who would give oral (something about hygene and respect and stuff)
2007-08-13 13:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by gerrytheginzo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to realize that sex is not the only way to express love and affection. Clearly you are too young to appreciate the maturity level that your boyfriend seems to be at. You need to appreciate that he wants to keep sex as something special (maybe for marriage). Maybe he's not ready for STDs or getting your fast behind pregnant. How many guys have you been with to be so sexually aggressive? Respect his wishes. If he thinks it's nasty and wrong, that's his business...leave him alone. Nothing is wrong with him, something is wrong with you.
Oh yeah, you bff is stupid!! How does it even make sense that he is holding on to you because he is jealous? HE HAS YOU!!! DUH!!!
2007-08-13 13:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but it's very rare for a guy his age or any man to turn down oral. He's probably not interested in you like that and he just wants to be friends, but then again friends have sex too. If I were you I would find another dude, you're too young for all this let down anyway. Go have fun...
2007-08-13 13:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by fletcher b 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe hes not ready for that. If you love him you will respect that, and you went to far, if you knew that he wasnt ready for it. You say you respect him, but you knowingly crossed his boundaries. Thats not respect. He has every right to choose not to have sex, he has every right to be upset that you would try to push him into it.
Just because a guy doesnt want to have sex does NOT MEAN HE IS GAY. All you immature people who think that obviously need some education. My husband and i both didnt have sex until we were married. I was 18 he was 21. Lots of people wait until they are married.
If you want him to be happy, respect his boundaries!!!
2007-08-13 13:36:15 · answer #9 · answered by Cebsme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you guys done that before? Or is he wanting to save himself? Maybe he doesn't like the way you give head, or maybe he's gay, or doesn't want to be with you anymore. If he believes in no sex before marriage- you can't knock him for it. If you guys have done stuff before- ask him what's going on? tell him he gets a pass to talk openly and honestly without you getting mad. The truth of the matter is- a girl can NOT be rejected- period. I explained this before to several people- you just can't reject a girl. She comes on to you- you say no- it's going to cause MAJOR problems. Some you might not move past.
Good luck.
2007-08-13 13:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley L 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
heres my number, email address, street address, fax number, cell phone, home phone, work phone and social....u can contact me when ur feeling froggy again....hahahahahahahahaha....jk
really tho u might wanna have a sit down talk with him and ask him y he's acting like that. he might not have a lot of experience so he's either shy or uncomfortable due to lack of knowledge. u might wanna give him some time n keep trying but that is a bit awkward. if u've ever seen him nude or if u ever do just go up and do it....i dont think he'll have time to complain or reject once he realizes the moment ;)
2007-08-13 13:42:42 · answer #11 · answered by youngavarice 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋