Visual Sexuality...Please Help?

Question

Lately, the sight of other beautiful woman around me has been affecting my perception of my own wife. My wife and I just celebrated our first anniversary and I vowed to do away with Porn, which was somewhat of a problem in our first year. My wife is Gorgeous; she just has a rather large stomach and not much of a backside(butt). And when I’m bombarded with images of woman on TV and Movies and even Wal-mart with all these great features, it’s a little difficult for me to get intimate with my own wife. I’m looking for help from anyone who can relate to my problem. Is there anyone who is happily married, and is not in the ideal physical shape, and can tell me how they continue to enjoy their sex life? Is there someone who can give me some advice on how to either help my wife tone up her stomach, or help me to appreciate my wife the way I did when I first met her. I really don’t know what my problem is. She completely satisfies my Sexual Physical needs 130%, but it’s just the visual stimulation that I’m lacking. And I have no interest in cheating because I love her to death and don’t even want to touch another female, not even at a strip club. Although, I am curious as to what a flat stomach and full perky breasts actually feel like. I doubt that it adds anything to the actual sexual feeling; however, it’s that visual thing that keeps me struggling and fighting my porn addiction and keeps me fighting for my Love life with my Lovely Wife. Someone, please help in any way you can.

Answer 1

New to the mental health board but your problem is in my speciality, namly family and relatinships. Ether way, what you dealing with is very common among males in our society. This is due to that wonderful thing called PERCEPTION. Yep can make a hag look like a queen or a queen look like a hag. Really the visual problem you keep refering to has more to do with your perception of the visual input and less to do with the input. In other words words your getting caught up on seeing her as a women, really nice for a dating relationship or a fling, or something less meaningful. BUT YOUR MARRIED NOW! What you need to began to see is the indivdiual, her. Until you began to realize how intense it is with this one individual woman and not any other, then nothing else out there can be near as tempting/attrative/meaningful as her. Which your doing a decent job of. What you need to do is get off the idea that making love and having sex are the same thing. There not!!!! Well for 30 secs there the same thing, but realize making love is about everything else you do, everything else you think and everything else you bring to that relationship. So in the end what you need to accept is flesh is flesh, weather on her or on another girl it doesn't matter because they can't bring the INTENSITY of emotions to it, as she can. Atleast I hope you care that much, or else this is a mute point and you need to just think about leaving her. Ether way you need to get even closer to this lady, know here past, present, and future feelings, get so close that you know the deep meaning behind her actions and her love, and hopfully she'll do the same. Also this goes deeper then just her, you talk about porn and liking it. This shows a lack of maturity with your intimacy, which is why I'm telling you this stuff. Understand that if all you see when you see a women is FLESH then of course your going to love porn, cute hoes, and a nice ***. But as you began to realize that, that flesh belongs to a person and that reality isn't your fantasy. You'll began to see how your staring at someone else's wife (ok that might turn you on), daughter (I hope not), sister (ok maybe still), mother (geeze have some decency) best friends or lover. But until you began to see just how complicated, meaningful, and special each and every person is and love them for that, well your always going to have this problem. Also as far as the flat **** and big stomach goes, as you began to show a person, more and more attention, love, devotion, you, she'll get happier, more purposeful, more self-actualize and you'll be suprise how these little gripes of yours disappear, both as a problem to you, and as being around. Because typically we put the weight on, and forget to take care of ourselves when the stress is heavy, you do this right and theres no stress you guys can't take. Just understand your on the board line to a certian, growth, a certain maturity. Do it and the awards you gain well be worth forever, f it up and you'll always want more....

Answer 2

First of all I am a woman and I don’t see anything wrong with watching porn I think you learn a lot of different ways to please your wife/ girlfriend/ lover what ever the case may be. It is society that makes it out to be dirty and disgusting and make people feel bad about watching it. I don’t think your wife should change her body if she is happy with the way she looks. There is nothing wrong with fantasying while you have having sex with your wife just keep that mental picture in your mind. There are plenty of times when I see a man in the street that is very muscular and toned and I must say my husband is a very happy man that night. The flat stomach and perky breast does not make the sex better, I went from 230 pounds to 150 and I asked my husband once if the sex felt better now that I lost weight and he said no, maybe your wife can put on some outfits to juice things up a bit (that is if she is up to dressing up)
Good Luck

Answer 3

nicely im guessing that for the reason that there blind if there compleytely blind they cant with the aid of fact there ideas has in no way gotten visuals in the event that they have been given blind then i assume they dream of there final memeoriesim guessing no longer in the event that they have been thoroughly blind from the commencing up targets actual happen most of the time by a technique wherein the ideas and eyes are style of reviewing what occurred interior the day on your ideas thinking or in basic terms observed and adventure in a single hand they cant dream on the different hand they cant have night mares large question