What would you do if one of your coworkers copycats you all the time?

Question

Hi, I have seen a lot of things in the workplace, but this one has me a little puzzled.

I have a coworker (she is a new hire- 3 months on the job) who wants to know everything I do at work and as soon as I tell her, she will go ahead and do exactly the same thing. If my boss asks me to go meet someone for a project, as soon as I come back, she will ask ton of questions about the person. And by the end of the day, she will call the person to schedule a meeting to discuss about pretty much nothing. Or when I am writing an email, she will come over my desk and watch what I am writing without my consent. She would ask me questions about my private life as well, althoguh I have been direct with her on that.

I am a little concerned that this may have an impact on my performance.

Now, my question to you is this: what would be her motivation for doing this? How would you handle this situation in a friendly way? I am a male by the way.

Answer 1

She obviously needs a mentor.
You could kindly ask her if she needs help with her work and suggest that she request for someone to guide her with her work. She sounds quite lost, even after 3 months.
Perhaps HR could adjust her job description because she sounds quite confused as to what she is supposed to do with her work.

Answer 2

Now that is weird... and creepy. Thank God I haven't experienced anything like that... yet.

Honestly, I think she is doing it because she is a bit unsure of her job and is maybe trying to emulate you for her lack of direction. When a person enters a new job... especially if they are not completely 100% qualified for it (also mentally qualified for it), they might try different forms of getting instruction/direction. This might be a cause of her behavior.. although maybe there is a weird social problem that also is causing her to do this.

I personally would wait it out and see if things improve. She has only been there for 3 months so she is still kinda new. Maybe she hasn't gotten into that groove yet. Once she gets on the right track, then perhaps she will become more independent... or have enough self confidence to handle her own tasks without your guidance.

Another tactic you could use is to use this to your advantage. She is basically coming to you asking what to do. You could perhaps somehow assume a sort of apprentice/mentor type role. If you need little things completed, maybe she would be interested in doing them for you. If done correctly, perhaps you could score some leadership points with some higher ups due to your management / leadership skills. However, I would use this in moderation... you wouldn't want to get caught administrating unapproved jobs to other workers or make her look better by doing extra critical jobs that gain attention (it would be a shame for HER to get promoted for her hard worth ethic).

As a last resort... aka when you simply cannot take her nagging anymore, I would definitely inform your supervisor of the situation. You don't have to complain to the boss saying how you think she should be fired or something of that matter. Instead, you can just simply inform him that "So-and-so" is really becoming a burden and affecting your performance. I would mention her invasion of privacy during your work (how she reads emails) and other stuff to make her sound like she is more involved in YOUR work than her own. If worded correctly, the problem might be resolved while making you sound better. But be wary... you know your boss better than I do... he could take it the wrong way and think that you are unable to work effectively with others or maybe even fire her on the spot and use your name!

Another possibility is that she has a crush on you. The way around this is to casually mention you have a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/fiance/etc... or simply take her out a few times.

Good luck with the situation.

Answer 3

If she seems to be asking about your personal life, it is possible that she likes you. It might also be the reason she copies you and stuff then take matters to her own hands to impress you so that you can in return be impressed and things take off from there. Being new on the job might be one of the reasons she wants to make friends and now that she found you to be a potential person who fits that profile, she is now doing what she is doing and probably because she is unsure and insecure due to lack of knowledge at the work place.

Also since you haven't been upfront with her about how you feel about what she is doing is annoying you, is the reason why it continues. I would suggest that since both of you are adults, have a talk with her and maybe tell her that you can give her a hand once in awhile if she needs it -when she asks. Don't tell her that it annoys you because it will only increase if that's her way of teasing you. You probably don't know her well enough yet. You can be come friends with her and have a lunch together some time -be direct that you want to be friends only if you're not interested in dating her. I believe that the more you get to know each other, what ever she has towards you will eventually wear off. Hope that helps. Good luck and take care.

Answer 4

I would explain to her that after 3 months she should know what her job is, and that if she has any questions, then your there to help, but that you both have your jobs to do and you can't do yours with her looking over your shoulder every minute. When your sending an email and she comes over, just minimize the screen, look up and say "did you need something? I'm a little busy right now" If she needs something, help her, if she doesn't, she will probably go away.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

I think it could be one of two things:
First, maybe this co-worker has limited experience in a professional work environment and she is trying to mimick you so that she does not look inferior to others at work. She may be worried that her ideas are not good enough and thinks that by copying you, she can advance without "screwing anything up."
Second, perhaps this young lady wants your job. She may be simply trying to gain rungs on the corporate ladder by undercutting you and riding the coat tails of others.
I would be tight lipped from now on and only share information with her that she NEEDS to know. Watch your back and if it gets any worse, perhaps you should have a talk with your supervisor or even directly with her.

Answer 6

It was Mohandas Ghandi that said "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." I thought the word "emulation" was not in the quote, although there are take-offs on that quote.

If she is bothering you, just tell her you are busy and doesn't she have work of her own to do. Just say that the meeting was confidential and you are not at liberty to discuss it, or similar answers to other nosey questions. Tell her also that you appreciate her efforts to be friendly but this is business and you associate with friends outside the office.

Answer 7

I think everyone thinks they are a photographer. That's what make it so hard for people like me who make a living at it. Anyone can get lucky once and shoot a good picture, but it takes special talent to do it day after day after day. The great thing about a camera is it helps document our lives. When I take someone's picture, I'm taking a portrait. When they take pictures of their friends or family, they see a side of those people I rarely get but always strive for.

Answer 8

She wants your job.

This happened to me and I found out the day a girl quit that she had been trying to get my position for a few months.

Talk to her supervisor and politely ask what her job description entails. Then gently point out that she has been following you around, asking lots of questions and watching you work over your shoulder. Explain that while you're happy to mentor or ask a few questions, her current behavior is slowing you down and causing confusion in the workplace.

Answer 9

Well, your situation is a little differ from mine. You being a male. I never heard of a woman wanting to copy a man. I had this friend (so-called) that did the same to me. Whatever I wants, she wants. She see's me kissing and hugging my daughter before she enters the school she starts doing the same to her's (never before). Other things too. But the most extreme that she did (believe it or not) was to paint the inside of her house the exact colors I planned on painting mine! She asked me when I was going to start. I told her I was going to start next spring (that we already was starting into fall), and I would test a little to see if that colors would be to my liking. Well, she went home got her husband to buy the color paints I told her and painted all the inside of her house to what I said I would paint mine!!! Another extreme was I told her what one of my favorite color was, and she got her husband to trade in her car and she bought another to the shade of color I told her! Well, that got me quite spooked you know what I mean. She is totally screwed in her brains.
My husband told me that a person like that can't think for themselves (not having a life of it's own) so they prey on a good person and borrows that person's brains to impress other people. If I was you, you better get away from that lady because she is a "wacko"! You know like that scary stalking movies you see or hear about. Well, I got away from that lady because I could see mentally and emotionally she is NOT there.
Hoping the best for you.
P.S. There is no nice way to do it. That kind of person will cling to you like a leech. The only way is to be firm and just be done with it. Really, you need to do it.
May the grace of God be with you.

Answer 10

She either is interested in you romantically, and the only way she can think to have a conversation with you is ask you constantly about work. OR She is trying to get a feel for the job and thinks doing exactly what you do will get her noticed as doing well. Or, (if you are a highly regarded employee) she is trying to "copy" you to recieve the same distinction you have. Either way, I would take it either to your superior or a human resources professional at your workplace. I don't think it would be wise to actually speak with her about it as it could cause more problems for you.

Answer 11

She probably really wants to do well at this job and looks to you for guidance so she can have know-how on making herself look good for your boss. It probably is a little annoying. You could probably bring up tactfully everytime she comes over that if she ever needs help or advice she could always email you. Just say that nicely everytime she bothers you and hopefully she will get the hint. if that doesn't work, talk to your boss, maybe he will have a suggestion