Im still young, but me and my boyfriend have been toghter 2 years. We've talked about getting married, and i would love to marry him - just not now. Maybe when im in my mid 20's. We havnt got engaged, but everythings been planned, spending a life togther, hes even asked me what type of rings i like and things...im only dreaming for the moment, but i think his intentions and expectations are a lot sooner than i expected. Do u think im wrong to hold things off? Or should i make a commitment now?
2007-08-13 05:31:11 · 24 answers · asked by X.Emily.X 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. It's fantastic that you are taking your time and seriously considering when to get married.
You are still young, so there is no need to rush into making a commitment. You have been together for 2 years already, so I'm sure you can stay together longer without making anything official.
It sounds like he is going a little too fast for you--sit him down and have a conversation about what you are both looking for. He may be under the impression that you are ready for marriage very soon, but if you got your feelings out in the open, you can both be on the same page. This will help keep anyone from being hurt later on. Imagine if he proposed to you tomorrow, but you couldn't say "yes" just yet?
Don't get engaged or married until you are both truly ready for it. These times are very special, and you want to be able to enjoy them fully without any reservations. Just because you choose to wait a little longer does not mean you do not love each other, it just means that you are being wise and mature.
You will know when it's the right time--be patient. If you both can agree to wait it out a few more years, you will be well on your way to a lifetime of happiness together. Always be open and honest with each other, and you'll be able to work out just about anything.
2007-08-13 05:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by elsie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By all means, wait!!! It seems like that's what you want to do, right? You want to be with him, but you want to wait until you're older before you get married. I think that's very, very smart. Go with your gut instinct, and wait as long as you need to. Do NOT let yourself be pressured into getting married before you're ready. Nothing good will come of that. Some people are ready at age 20, others aren't ready until they're 35. Only you know what's right for you. I've also read that people who wait until they're 25 or older are much less likely to split up.
Most people change so much between ages 18 and 25 that someone you're compatible with at age 18 may not be a good match for you at age 25. I know this was definitely true for me. Also, you need to evaluate your education and career goals. It's a lot easier for you to go through college/grad school/professional school if you're single. you also need to know whether your partner is supportive of your career and education.
Continue to date each other for the next few years and see what happens. Don't rush it.
2007-08-13 14:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by SE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar experience. met my husband at 16 he asked me to marry him 6 mths later and we got engaged on my 17th birthday much to everyones alarm, but, and this is the key,because we both thought we would have wanted to make the big steps later like yourself maybe in our mid twenties we decided to go for a long engagement, 3 years to be precise! That was enough to placate the critics and in the event we married after 2 as there seemed to be no point in waiting any longer especially as we had saved the desposit for a house in the time we were engaged. We celebrate 29 yrs this year -and they said it wouldn't last! No one can tell you what is right for you - you will know for yourself. What we did was right for us. Remember marriage is for life not just for the event.
2007-08-13 12:56:25 · answer #3 · answered by patecate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not ready, say so. There is nothing wrong in being honest with him, and above all, honest with yourself.
Marriage is for life; tell him you love him and want to be with him forever; but that you have your whole lives to do the traditional thing....why not enjoy being together for a few years?
I don't think anyone is ready for that sort of committment until they are about 25 or so.
2007-08-13 12:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by marie m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe when you're in your mid 20's? Ok, so I'm guessing you're in your late teens/early 20's then. I personally myself, think that time of your life isn't the time to get married. You're only young once. Take advantage of that and enjoy it. You've got the rest of your life to do those "mature adult" things.
2007-08-13 12:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by kl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no need to rush, enjoy yourselves at the moment and try and save as much as you can for your big day and new lives together. Mid 20's sounds a good age for settling down.
2007-08-13 12:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by Louise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you're entirely right to wait until you're a little older. Statistically, divorce is less likely if the couple is 25 or older when they get married. Also, if you wait until you're a little older, you can make sure you know yourself well before you commit to someone else for the rest of your life.
2007-08-13 12:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by corinne1029 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As I keep telling everyone, if you REALLY love each other, then what's the rush? My parents waited 30 years before they married, which is a bit extreme, but at least they know they really love each other and are certain they want to spend the rest of their lives together! There's nothing stopping you having a nice party to celebrate your love anyway! Good luck sweetie, whatever you do...
2007-08-13 12:45:11 · answer #8 · answered by rockwife 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no ur completly sensible hon if u dont want to get married the now but want a commitment why dont u have a long engagment that lasts a few years then think about marriage
2007-08-13 12:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and tell him that you want to wait..or why not get engaged now and married in a few years.
2007-08-13 12:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋