Can a married couple that has different religious beliefs really be happy together?

Question

I am non-denominational and my husband is a Jehovah's Witness (in training). His parents are Jehovah's Witnesses and converted when my husband was about 7 or 8 years old. He said he stopped going to the Kingdom Hall when he moved out of his parents house, but when we met he had just started to get involved with it again. He does not consistently meet with them, but it's kind of an off and on thing. One minute he's going to the Kingdom Hall every Sunday and attending meetings during the week, and the next thing you know he's not going. However, he believes like they do. He does not celebrate holidays, believe in blood transfusions, etc. We talked about it before marriage and decided that we would do whatever it took to make it work. It was very hard for me to deal with at first, because my family is very close and we celebrate everything. But now I am just dealing with it. It's not as big of an issue.

Can we ever be truly happy together? Anybody else going through this?

Answer 1

*** read this please ***
Ok, i'm going through the exact same thing 100%!!! There's a big difference though, my wife is in the JW congregations not me. JW men expect a lot of their women and tend to be very controling from an outsiders perspective. This would make your situation a bit more difficult than mine but everything else is just the same. She was disfellowshipped and now is going back to meetings on tues thurs and sun, i support her 100% eventhough i'm "AGNOSTIC" which is a weird combo for a relationship haha. I simply respect her right not to celebrate holidays and she respects my right to do so. We also have a kid, i have already told her that he will not be raised JW unless he CHOOSES and not brainwashed into doing so later on. She agreed. This would be a difficult feat for you to pull off as in the JW religion the man would simply have the say in the matter and you shouldn't be allowed to have a choice. Now, asside from kids that brings us to blood transfusions. There is 1 JW approved (i'm pretty sure) alternative. It is called Synthetic Blood Transfusion. If you are worried (and i was about my wife before her pregnancy) then ask your husband to bring up synthetic blood transfusions and have them REALLY find out if it is approved. If it is, speak with your doctor and tell them that in emergencies if a transfusion is NEEDED, then they need to have synthetic available for your husband if it's possible. Hope that helps.

My family is real close too and during the holidays because everyone gets days off from work for them we meet mainly for family not for the celebration thing so much which sucks but i deal with it. It's the only thing you can do just accept the fact that he won't be going and GO YOURSELF. Do not stay home because he does, very important. If you respect his decision to not go he should respect yours to go.

Me and my wife have had some problems but none of them were related to religion. If you need some advice more specificly send me a private message and i'm sure that i can help you out. :)

Answer 2

We Witnesses, like everyone, have free will so we can do anything we want. Now as for whether or not we should/would that is a different story. Growing up in the south you hear the addage Marry only in the Lord allot. The principle is sound. When we get Baptised it is as a synbol to the world that we have dedicated our lives to Jehovah. When getting married, it is wise to marry soomeone with whom you share things in common. Because of this fact it seems extremely unfair and unkind to begin a relationship with someone who's outlook is diametricly opposed. Case in point, Christmas is a VERY big event to some people. We Witnesses know it is Pagan and as such do not celebrate Christmas. As marraige is something very important to us if a Witness and a nonWitness were married they would have to go through this very uncomfortable time together. It s hard enough to do what you know is right without having someone who opposes your beliefs in bed next to you. In the case of an agnostic or Atheist person without religuos affilliation or attachment there are still inherint problems as while the Atheist/Agnostic mate may not follow a different religion there beliefs are opposit that of Jehovah's followers. Please do not misunderstand. Marraige is never perfect. There will always be trials, and there have been cases where, depending on what you consider successful, Witness/nonWitness marraiges have succeded. It is just much easier and more fair all the way around to "Marry in the Lord".

Answer 3

I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses, my husband was Catholic and then went to a non-denominational church. Our children are being raised as Witnesses. That is a thing that will come up if you get married. What will the children be raises as? If you live according to the Bible, the husband is the head of the household and he will decide how the children will be raised so get used to them being Witnesses. Mine could care less so they went to the Hall with me.

Married life is easier when the husband and wife are of the same religion. The Bible also says not to become unevenly yoked. As you are already married God does recognize you as being married. I've been married for 23 years and for the past 2 my husband has been coming to the Kingdom Hall. He now understands so many things that he didn't before. His personality is better and the 'f' word isn't in our house anymore. The change is for the better and we have a loving relationship now.

I pray for your happiness and understanding in God's Ways. Keep praying for His Will and you'll have it.

Answer 4

I am / have been since 1994.
I have been a J's W's, since 1994.
My hsbnd is not.
We are now @ the 21 yr mark,
still happily in love w/ each other.
So it is possible.

You say u 2 talked about it b4 marriage;
so then u had an inkling of what was to come.
Since the 2 of u decided to do what ever it takes
to make it work...then there is where ur commitment lies...
w/ each other, in marriage.
I told my hsbnd once, to take up a Bible study w/ a brother,
1) to get an understanding of what it is that I am now learning.
2) to know why it is that I do what I do...
and don't do what I no longer do.
3) He does not have to become 1 of J's W's
after studying the Bible w/ them.
It'll give him a understanding of God & His Son.
And the "w/ a brother" part;
A-cuz I'm his wife, I'm under him, not over him.
B-it's better he learn from a man.
C-cuz I'm a woman, not to lead a man.
D-A mature Christian brother could & can
answer any of his Q's better than I could--
(I was new @ the time.)
Like for you it would be a woman.

In marriage, any marriage there will be problems.
Disagreements, differences of opinions...what-have-you.
The Bible calls it "tribulation in the flesh,"
the joining of 2 seperate individuals, into 1.
Yes, it's easier when the 2 of u are of the same mind-set.
Much easier.
I only married my hsbnd after learning from God's word
what marriage is really all about.
We were already together for 9 yrs @ that time,
but not married.
@ 1st he was upset that, that's why I married him;
but that didn't last.
Now, he really does like all that I have learned about being a better wife.
I am a complement to him.
I do well for him & our family, that he likes, alot.

As 1 answerer said "the issue w/ blood transfusions,
if u want it, & he's making the decisions for u, cuz u can't,
& that he would not agree to it for you"
That is a slanderous lie!!!
I would not accept blood, my hsbnd would.
But he has already made his wishes for his health care
(if this was ever to come upon us) known to me.
It is not my decision to do other then what he wants,
its his body, his decision, he'd get the blood.
He will have to render an account to Jehovah,
the same as I will.
btw--we DO accept SAFER methods of treatment.
Wouldn't u want ur spouse to do what u told him u did or didn't want? I would.
I would expect my hsbnd to uphold my wishes/
my desires as to my health care.

Answer 5

It is O.K. now because it's just between you and him. When the children come then it will me very difficult. Your side family for your baby: grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, will want to do these "celebrations" with your child. Especially if it's the 1st. grandchild. Your husband and his side of the family will not have nothing of that to happen. The family will be torn apart and the scenario is so very sad but it's true. The JW community is tightly knitted together and if you go against their rules you put your husband in that position to choose. If he chooses you he will not be "happy" because of heavily laid burden that is now eating his conscious of what he's doing is against Jehovah God. Him being of the "world (ungodly)". The only way I see that both of you can become and stay happy is YOU will need to convert to their religion and beliefs. They (JW's) are EXTREME strong in what their beliefs are and will stand by it 100%. Anyone (including me) that wants to belong to their community have to really make sure that they will abide by their religious laws. You and your husband should have really thought hard about this before the both of you got married. Unless you are not planning on having a child.
It will be hard for both sides of the family.

Answer 6

Of course you can be happy. Both my husband and I have different views on religion and we are very happy. You just make things work. BUT it's not really the same as your situation because you do come from different backgrounds with very different beliefs. It's really something you are going to have to compromise.. just because he doesn't believe in it.. doesn't mean you should give it up (holidays for example). Compromise. And things like blood transfusion.. that may be something you might want to think about putting in writing. If a serious issue comes a long where you might need a blood transfusion.. do you not get one and die because your husband is religously opposed to it? You may want to have something signed and notarized saying in the evevnt that bla bla bla.. I want a blood transfusion... or do not.. or whatever.. there are just certain issues you will have to talk about and compromise with.

Answer 7

No you cannot...you will get to resent that he doesn't do holidays because you don't have the reasons he does.
He does it out of respect for God while you feel you are missing out on a religious experience.
Most people think it will work out but it never really does. He attends meetings 3 days a week ...he will go in field service some days...he will attend conventions...you will get jealous.
He will feel bad about leaving you. He will never be able to share his way of thinking with you as you will tell him ...yeah yeah yeah I have heard it all before.
How will you raise the children?
Will you insist on going to your family for holidays?
I Know! It will be harder than you two can handle.

Answer 8

Since you're non-denominational anyway, why don't you try going to the meetings with him when he does go? Maybe this is the true calling for you. As for me, I'm not going through anything like you--I'm not married. The only advice I can give you is to try and open yourself to this organization. You never know you might just be surprised, and you'll see that you and your husband will be happy together.

Answer 9

I'm a WIccan married to a Lutheran and we're very happy. We had a lot of discussions about this before we got married. We both respect each other's beliefs, even though we do not agree. We have addressed the hot button topics in advance such as the raising of children so that we aren't arguing about it after the kid's already here.

My biggest suggestion is that each of you should figure out what is really important to you. Anything not on that list you should be able to compromise on. For example, my husband really wants our theoretical child to be baptized so that the child will be saved. I don't believe in it, but I don't see anything wrong in it... to me my kid's head will just get a little wet, and I'm fine with that.

Answer 10

God wants us to celebrate Christmas so we can all share the "Good News" of 2007 years ago. What God is unhappy about is the commercialization of Christmas. Its OK to put up lots of decorations and buy gifts for friends but to keep the Christmas spirit is key. I'm afraid perhaps the part about celebrating the Good News of the birth of Christ may be lost on Jehovah's Witnesses.

Perhaps you should pray for the answer as well.