How do Atheists hold a marriage ceremoney?

Question

Seriously, I've always wondered, and I've never found out how. I know they have to use law and a judge, correct me if I'm wrong, but what about the real ceremony?

You're right Audrea, my bad.

Answer 1

Atheists marry legally according to the laws of states or countries, but do not use the reference of God or Jesus or any other biblical references in their ceremony. Other than than not holding their ceremony in a church, all other legally binding options remain the same.
Atheists don;t believe in the religious aspects, but they still have to comply with the legal aspects.
A ceremony can be pretty much anything you want.
I have couples who because of differeing religions chose not to have religious refernces at all, it didnt mean they were atheists but rather differing cultures.
However, I have also designed ceremonies for those couples who have no desire to have God in their lives.

Answer 2

The legal work IS the "real" ceremony.
My husband and I got married by a judge at the courthouse. If we do a vow renewal next year on our 34th anniversary, we may have an Indian reading or we have an ordained friend who will say words with no Deity involved.

Atheists are no different from the people you know and meet everyday. We are not Satan incarnate. We have the same morals or lack of them that everyone has. Good and bad behavior are not dependent upon one's belief system. God belief is not necessary to be a patriot, a hero, a citizen of a country or the world, despite what the political pundits of these sad days would like the populace to think.

So, concerning atheist marriage, "they" get married the same as anyone else, according to the laws and customs of their community.

Answer 3

Not sure what you mean by "real" ceremony. Any ceremony that involves signing a marriage license in the presence of the bride and groom, an officiant and (usually) the two witnesses is real, as far as the law is concerned. Obviously, a religious ceremony can ALSO be performed - in many cases, it is performed separately from the civil ceremony (for example, to have a marriage ceremony in the Russian orthodox church, you must already be married by the state). Religious ceremonies is just a subset of different kinds of "real" ceremonies you can have. My husband and I were married by a friend of ours who is an ordained minister with the Universal Life church, we had an informal ceremony with our friends and family present; religion wasn't a part of it, but everything was real and legal nevertheless.

Answer 4

We may hold them any way we choose. We simply tend to prefer a civil ceremony over a religious one. But that ceremony may be as simple or as elaborate as we please.

Most non-religious officiants will come to you wherever you choose to hold your wedding. For instance, my husband and I were married by a county clerk who came to our site, which was a redwood clearing. I've been to civil ceremonies held in rented halls, backyards, living rooms, state parks...pretty much anywhere other than a church. And of course, one may go to the officient at a courthouse or an office or a drive-through wedding window in Vegas where Elvis does the honors.

We had a more or less standard sort of ceremony, just without any mention of God, since we don't personally believe in His existance. We included an excerpt from a Wendell Berry essay on marriage, had one of the band do a guitar solo of Here, There, and Everywhere since we both adore The Beatles, had a ring (just for me because he doesn't wear jewelry), and all the usual trappings (bridesmaids, groomsmen, a bagpiper in honor of my Scottish heritage).

So yes, we can have readings, songs, unity candles, flower girls...anything you've seen at church weddings. We also have the option to go very bare bones and leave all those things out.

Funnily enough, there are a couple people - including a bridesmaid! - who to this day have never realized that God wasn't mentioned in our wedding. They just assume He will be a part of any wedding ceremony.

Answer 5

Atheists would have a non-religious wedding ceremony which is perfectly legal. They would get proper paperwork at City Hall and then hire a Justice of the Peace, and hold a wedding ceremony wherever they want, but it would not be religious. This is a real ceremony for them, as they do not believe in God, so they cannot have it in a church or synagogue or anywhere there is any mention of a higher power.

Answer 6

Well a marriage is a legal contract. Sounds unromantic but that is what it is. A real ceremony is not a church ceremony--what is real is legally filing of the marriage license. Multiple people have the ability to marry couples--captains of ships, judges, justice of the peace, etc. Not just religious heads. So I would say many atheists get married by one of those alternate ways as the only important thing in a marriage is that it is legal. Having a religious figure makes it no more or less legal. This is also great for people who have different religious beliefs or whose friends can't witness the ceremony if they have it in their church (like the Mormon church and many orthodox religions)

My particular case (and I imagine this is not that rare) is that an athiest gets married in a church--b/c a marriage is about compromise. My family is very religious, my grooms family is religious. While my groom believes in God, he is not very religious but the event (contrary to most brides thoughts) is not just about the BRIDE. It is a merging of two families. Often paid for by the bride's family. My husband and I both decided (as only children who were not paying for it) to allow our parents that special day.

Answer 7

We have civil wedding ceremonies that celebrate love and committment but leave out the religious traditions. Non-religious weddings have music (classical, in our case), the bride and groom say their vows - that they often write themselves - and promise to love and support each other and stay together for the rest of their lives. Oftentimes someone reads poetry or a passage that is meaningful to the couple, and the ceremony is conducted by a judge, justice of the peace, or wedding celebrant. The order of events is up to the couple, and they can do pretty much whatever they want.
I've been to several non-religious weddings, and my partner and I will be having a non-religious wedding.

Remember that while some religions require people to be married in a place of worship, the legally-binding contract that entitles the couple to all the civil rights of marriage takes place through the legal system.

In response to the ...um...unkind... response by the first poster, I would like to say that most of us are healthy, happy, well-adjusted, normal, everyday people who just happen to not believe any gods, goddesses, or any other supernatural phenomena that can't be proven. We're not freaks of nature, we're just normal people. Your snarkiness is neither appreciated nor helpful.

Answer 8

Atheists get married the same way that everyone else does, under the laws of the state that they live in. If they want to be able to file joint taxes and enjoy other benefits of marriage, they usually have a judge or magistrate marry them and sign the marriage certificate. A couple I know had a friend become an "ordained minister" through an internet church and he performed the ceremony and married them. It was really quite beautiful and moving, especially since he was a long time friend that knew them both well.

Answer 9

Go to Las Vegas and get married. That is the easiest way. You don't have to be religious there to get married. When they perform the wedding ceremony, there aren't religious sayings in it (unless you ask for a priest or minister). In Vegas, there are also no waiting periods and no blood tests. Marriage bureau is open 24 hours 7 days a week and you get your marriage license (you have to get your marriage license before you can get married) and they can either marry you there or you can choose any wedding chapels on the strip. You can choose any theme wedding you want: drive thru wedding, elvis wedding, civil ceremony, etc. which are all legitimate wedding ceremonies- that is the best part!

Answer 10

The "ceremony" to which you refer is all pomp and cirmcumstance. Legally, the only thing that matters is that paper you get from the courthouse. As far as how we do our pomp and circumstance, we're having ours at an art gallery, with the ceremony outside in the courtyard and the reception inside. We're going to have a couple love poems read, the dj is going to provide the music that we pick out, and my grooms dad is going to get ordained online to do the ceremony. No Jesus talk and we'll be happy. Just talking about our committment to each other.