My fiance is from Kansas and I am from Texas. I will be moving to Kansas, which is where I think we'll get married, but I'm not sure the best way to include my friends and family from Texas if we do that. Does anyone have any advice about how to handle this long-distance love n' nuptials situation?
2007-08-13 04:34:27 · 19 answers · asked by Krissy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There are a few solutions...
1) Pick a spot midway between and have the wedding there. The inconvenience is the same all around.... sort of an icky thing.
2) Have a civil ceremony, and two separate receptions -- one in each location.
3) Have the ceremony where you choose, and arrange for a videographer to broadcast it live via webcam so that far-away family can tune in and watch.
2007-08-13 04:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best wishes! I had a similar situation when I was getting married. My fiance was in Texas, and I was living in Michigan with plans to move to Texas after the wedding. We struggled with where to have the wedding, but ultimately decided to do a destination wedding. It was a good solution for us because everyone was traveling for the wedding, so one side of the family didn't feel like they were getting the short end of the stick! Plus, we were able to keep down the guest list (and cost) because we knew some would not be able to make the trip. Our family and closest friends, those whom it was most important for us to include, were able to be there. It may sound a bit self-absorbed and I'm sure that many might offer alternative advice, but ultimately it's your day. The only people who really need to be there are you, your fiance, and whatever higher power you believe in. I hope you find a solution that fits you. Marriage and juggling families affords us many opportunities for practicing our flexibilty and our compromising skills! Find what arrangement you can live with, because in my experience you can't make everyone happy. Just worry about you and your fiance's wants. The rest will fall into place.
2007-08-13 12:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by Just Being Honest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting married with someone from a different state is rough. I know, because I am from Michigan and my wife is from Florida! The fact is that one of you is going to have to deal with your friends and family having to travel to do it. That's the bottom line. Choose whichever place is going to be most convenient for preparing the wedding. Then just make sure you set your date far in advance to give everyone time to make the trip! You may end up having fewer people make it, but that is life. If you had it in Texas, then it would be him. Anything else will result in you not having the wedding of your dreams or settling.
What I DON'T suggest is picking a spot in the middle. It seems like an obvious compromise, but all it really does it make it so that EVERYONE has to travel, your wedding will be more complicating and stressful and expensive, and you'll have even LESS people there! Someone is going to have to make a small sacrifice on this one.
That said, one good idea that is often suggested is to have the wedding one place, but then go to the other and have a special party/reception there at a later date!
2007-08-13 11:44:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Generally, it is expected that the wedding will be held in the woman's hometown. But it is really up to the two of you to decide if that's right for you. Either way, you will have guests travelling to attend.
First, be sure to give the guests plenty of notice so they can plan ahead. It takes time and money to go somewhere. You don't have to send the invitations out earlier, but you should communicate to the out-of-towners by phone, email, ...
Second, check with a few hotels in the city where you'll have the wedding. They'll reserve blocks of rooms at special rates specifically for your guests. Try to get a couple of hotels in different price ranges lined up. Again, send this info to your guests.
Third, look into transportation between the hotels and the wedding service/reception. You don't necessarily have to do this, but your guests will appreciate it, and it may keep someone from driving drunk. Transportation the rest of the time is the guests' problem.
Fourth, make a list of things to see and do in the area to help your guests plan. Museums, shopping, hiking, fishing, amusement parks, historical sites, etc. This way they can make your wedding into a vacation and they won't be stuck in a hotel with no idea what to do or where to go.
I'm also from Texas. I sent our out-of-town guests (my hubby is from the northeast) the link to the official state site where they could order a FREE map and guide to Texas. I think lots of states have this.
Congratulations and good luck!
2007-08-13 11:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by MJ3000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family all lives in a different state and honestly, I just thought it would be easier to plan a wedding where I'm actually living instead of trying to long distance plan something in my home town. I figured that this was a once in a lifetime thing and they all agreed to the trip- which actually for some of them was the first time they had travelled to see me in the 6 years I had lived here (I go there about 4 times a year though so I see them a lot- but always at my expense so I didn't feel too guilty asking them to travel for this one day)
2007-08-13 12:45:11 · answer #5 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way, people will need to travel if you want them all to be there for the wedding. My only suggestion is to have a separate party for those in Texas. At least they can celebrate with you as a group even if they cant make the wedding. My fiance and I live in SC, but the wedding will be held in NY where we are both originally from and much of our family is there. We have chosen to have an informal party for our friends in SC after the wedding is over and we return home. Hope this helps...Congratulations and good luck!
2007-08-13 11:51:00 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one because you'd probably want to include your Mom in some of the shopping. I think you'd probably take them to the bridal shop where they live to pick out the bridesmaids dresses and the mother of the bride dress. You can get your gown in Kansas so you'll be able to go to fittings and followup with the bridal shop. You would need to get a block of hotel rooms so they could all stay in the same spot and it'll be more fun for them. You could go home for bridal showers and host a bridemaids brunch on a trip home. Unless you have friends in kansas it's gonna be hard for anyone to give you a bridal shower there or a bachlorette party. I'm sure the grooms mom will probably throw a shower for you but I doubt the bachlorette party.
2007-08-13 11:44:04 · answer #7 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a similiar situation that I helped plan and organize recently . .
The Bride was from Maryland, the Groom was from Georgia.
The Groom's parents were unable to travel to Maryland due to the Groom's Father's health.
The Bride's Mother and Father hosted a morning wedding (10AM) at a bed and breakfast. The Bride and Groom were dressed in formal wedding attire. The Maid of Honor was the Bride's cousin and the Best Man was the Groom's brother. Approximately fifty friends and family members attended the garden ceremony which was followed immediately by a catered brunch. At 1PM the Bride, the Groom, and the Best Man were on their way to the airport.
At 6PM the Groom's hometown best friend and wife hosted a wedding and reception at a hotel near the Atlanta, GA airport. A second wedding ceremony was performed by the Groom's hometown minister. The Groom's brother was the Best Man for the second time and his wife was the new Maid (Matron) of Honor. Approximately forty people attended the wedding followed by a cocktail party and reception.
Both the Bride's parents . . and the Groom's parents were able to see them get married on the same day . . thanks to good planning and lots of cooperation from friends and family members. The key to their success was to keep eveything as
simple as possible (simple bouquets and decorations at both locations and just two attendants at each location).
Yes, they cut two wedding cakes, one in Maryland and one in Georgia. The Bride was able to wear her gown twice (she took it on the plane with her). The Groom wore a different tuxedo at the 6PM ceremony (that was picked up for him by his best friend).
The next day the Bride and Groom flew to Key West, Florida for a honeymoon.
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-08-13 12:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by Avis B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are getting married in Kanas, do all that you can to have your close family come. Make arrangements with a hotel for cheaper rooms or find a places for them to stay at your house or your new inlaws home. If you wish to include others that can not make the trip, think of honeymooning in Texas to be near those that could not make it. Maybe you can plan another reception to invite those that could not make the trip, no gifts needed, then it seems like you are trying to get their presents, just a party to celebrate those that you love and those that love you.
BTW anyone that does travel should be invited to the rehersal dinner free of charge.
2007-08-13 12:13:37 · answer #9 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live in NJ and my fiance lives in VA. I will be moving to VA after the wedding but we are having the wedding in NJ. We decided this because I know that area and we thought that it would be much easier for planning then if we picked a place in the middle. Also I have a lot more people coming to the wedding.
Basically, you and your fiance have to think it over and decide what is best for the two of you.
I tried to talk him into a destination wedding but it didn't go over that well.
Good luck
2007-08-13 15:04:53 · answer #10 · answered by tohumanity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋