Okay my new girlfriends parents divorced when she was 10, her dad maintained custody and then moved 2000 miles away to be with his new girlfriend that he ended up marrying. From what my girlfriend has told me her stepmom has been great. My question is should I look for any potential problems with her due to her parents divorcing? I haven't noticed anything other than the fact that she likes to party and drink with her friends often but she is only 24 years old. I've only known her for a month. What kind of problems can a child of divorced parents expect to have later on in life?
2007-08-13 03:49:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
abandoment issues
a girl trying to look for a father figure.
hey who knows- maybe she dont have any issues at all
2007-08-13 03:54:14 · answer #1 · answered by Honest Answers™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding? If you are looking for a girl who is NOT from a divorced family, or worst yet, was in a family where the parents SHOULD have gotten a divorce, then you'll be waiting a long time to find a girl at all. Some people will have problems that stem from their parents divorcing. Many will not. That said, someone from a perfectly normal and loving family could be totally nuts. You are going about this entirely the wrong way. If you see problems, then it is worth finding out the cause. But looking at someone's past and then trying to find problems? Give me a break. If you LOOK for problems, you will find them. Everyone has problems. Be careful, though. Paranoia and overanalysis of one's girlfriend is a problem, too, that could easily lead to distrust, insensitivity, and you looking for a new girlfriend. If you have a reason to suspect problems, then fine, but don't go looking for reasons to throw away a good apple. Deal with the problems themselves. The past is the past.
2007-08-13 03:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We learn by example when we are children. And we take from any experience in life depends on individuals processing. So it would depend on her outlook on life what was the real cause of the divorce and what she believes was the cause. Children don't always understand or know the true reasons their parents split and in their own little 10 year old minds will fabricate something that they can understand - positive or negative. If the divorce was not harsh chances are since children are very resiliant, that if her parents acted right - she will be cool. She is only 24 and you have only been dating for 1 month give the relationship time to build before putting any preconceived notions on what mey or may not happen. Cause in one months time you don't really know her yet.
2007-08-13 04:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's pretty horrible that you automatically assume that she's 'broken' because her parents divorced when she was ten. That is extremely judgemental. I think you should actually sit down and get to know the woman. Get to know what kind of personality she has and what she's like rather than jump to conclusions based on the simple fact that her parents haven't been together for years. I've known plenty of people that grew up in that situation, and they had no more or no fewer problems than anybody else. How someone comes through that depends on them and what kind of person they are.
2007-08-13 03:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a 50/50 chance that she will 1) not take commitment seriously because of the divorce or 2) she will take it really serious and be scared that it might be compromised at some point which might make her standoffish when you bring it up. Try to discuss the issue and see what she says and from that you might be able to determine where her mind is.
2007-08-13 03:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by TFB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that a month isn't nearly long enough to even be considering marrying this person. you haven't had time to get to know each other.
give it a couple YEARS at least.. that way you will "see" the type of person she is, figure out her habits and character and will have had time to talk about future plans, if you might decide to make any.
you really need to have similar ambitions, goals, and life ideals.
all this takes time.
get back with us in a year or two and let us know.. take care of YOU in the meantime.
2007-08-13 03:54:14 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think some of the biggest challenges would be making sure she knows that some marriages end, but hers doesn't have to be one of them. Don't judge her by her parents' marriages or divorce.
2007-08-13 03:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well shes 24 and its legal for her to drink and if shes drinks to much just try talking to her about her problems. she probably wont want to talk about it since you've been only going out for a month then hive her time. it will all turn out ok if you were meant to be
2007-08-13 03:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by ITSSHALEYY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same as any other child, divorce is so prevalent that it's no longer a stigma.
2007-08-13 03:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She can't forget this although she remained mom on the topic.
2007-08-13 03:54:20 · answer #10 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋