Moving close to my sister?

Question

My sister is a very hardworking good girl.

Now that I am pregnant and I do not work, I thought I would make her life easier this summer.

My mom and I have been baby-sitting her son all summer, and I watched her house with a dog for a month, while she was gone on her vacation.

My fiance is upset about it, because I am always tied to my sister's house, dog and son. Plus this summer we are planning our wedding, but because I am baby-sitting we had to give up a lot of our own plans.

We are going to live ten minutes away from my sister. She is really excited and she makes all vacation, get-away plans with her husband, assuming I would always be available to babysit at any notice. My fiance is very apprehensive.

How do I let my sister nicely know that I am going to have my own family and our own plans, and I am not always available at the first notice?

Of course I am still going to help out, but I do not want to be over there everyday.

Answer 1

Hello,
Family situations are always a little sticky. Well, I would say first you have to start taking little steps backwards. Don't offer to watch her son, make her ask you. If she just assumes it is ok, she is taking advantage. Let her know you have other plans. Your fiance should be first before your sister, make your plans and stick to them, even if she gets upset. SHE had the baby, it is hers to take care of. You have your own life, soon, your own baby.
If she says, well I'll see you tomorrow, tell her, well, I'm sorry but my fiance and I made plans for tomorrow night and we won't be available, sorry you should have said something in advance. She should get the picture without you being too forward and making a fuss.
Or tell her to make her plans in advance and you say you have to see if it is ok with (the fiance) and you will get back to her. If she says something like you are your own boss, well yes you are and I am saying I will get back to you.

Good luck, I have sisters also.

Answer 2

First of all you are having your own child and starting a family and she needs to know that you are not gonna be available all the time to help her out. You can not expect your fiance not to be up-set because you are canceling your plans to suit someone else. Stop putting your sister before you put the man you want to marry If you want a life together. She is selfless and don't care about what you have plan sure i would let her no and stop spending so much time over there. Best of luck

Answer 3

you could let your sister know that you're having a good time helping her... but after you're married, you probably won't have as much time to help.... but the offer is still there when you are able.

take care.