About 6 months ago, my boyfriends father died suddently. we had been going out a year and half at this time and i had been friends with his younger brother and close with his family.
at the funeral my boyfriends ex showed up, and i found out that she was still very good friends with his brother. we did not get along and his brother accused me of "not honoring his father" and being mean to my boyfriends ex who was "trying to honor his father". honestly we only had a few words in private and nothing about this had anything to do wtih him (she apparently told him i was being mean to her).
my boyfriend ignored her, but his brother has held a huge grudge against me since (its been 6 months!) to the point now that he won't even talk that much to his own brother and refuses to let go of this grudge against me. its becoming very stressfull. we would like to get married but now the family stress is giving us cold feet. this is all very sad for me. advice?
he really wont let it go.
2007-08-13 03:16:40 · 8 answers · asked by Ab J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he is very close with his family and having his brother this angry at me puts stress on him, and consequently us,.
2007-08-13 03:34:50 · update #1
you are marrying him not his brother.maybe the ex wanted him back and tried to play the brother to get it to happen.he was close to her and probably wants her around.dont give in to the brother , let him know that the two of you are going to get married.if he comes to the wedding that is his choice.he can learn to be a part of your family or stand on the side line.but dont let him have any control over the love that the two of you share.
2007-08-13 03:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe, you should have ignored her too - getting drawn into drama just makes you look bad (even if you didn't start it)... it was a funeral - not a party.
I don't know if there is any coming back to graces with your "maybe" brother-in-law. I can tell this much, funerals are no time to get into something :(... if he sees whatever it was you did as dishonoring the memory of his father he will NEVER forget it - if you try and downplay it as not effecting him cuz your beef wasn't with "him" it will only make it worse. He's pissed cus the last thing he's gets to remember about his father is tainted by a couple of his brother's girlfriends not having any self-control and getting in some sort of thing. How would it have made you feel???
If you can make amends that's cool - if you can't, time heals most wounds... your real problem is if you let it get between you and your boyfriend - letting outside forces in is the quickest way to destroy something good :(... Good luck.
2007-08-13 10:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of stress was caused by you, so just back up and ignore the brother and forget about the face-off at the funeral about the exgirlfriend. Act like it doesn't phase you anymore and you want to move on.
2007-08-13 10:24:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not marrying his brother and as long as your boyfriend is not holding a grudge about it, then that's what matters. Simply put his brothers negative vibes away from you, make it known that his grudge is NOT going to affect your life, or else he wins.
2007-08-13 10:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not marrying his family honey. You can't change how they feel, but you can't stop your life for it either.
Hopefully, they will be able to mend the fences, you may just have to keep your distance from them. But let him work through that with his family, because at the end of the day, they are still his kin folk.
2007-08-13 10:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by 2sexxxy32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up, it sounds like he is trying to split you both up. Tell him you don't care anymore and that if he wants to act like a child then fine. You two want to marry don't let that jelous person stop you.
2007-08-13 10:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk with your boyfriends brother. Talk about your problems with each other and what needs to be changed.
good luck.
2007-08-13 10:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by spazzzzz123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't control your boyfriend's brother, or his grudge.
why bother? go forward with your life, don't let him bother you. maybe he will get over it.
perhaps he has a crush on the ex girlfriend, and is taking it out on you? i don't know.
how can your boyfriend's brother "ruin" your relationship? you're not seeing him... you are with his brother.
2007-08-13 10:29:47 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋