How do i get my family out of my AS$ ?

Question

I am a very driven person,mother,worker,goal oriented,and for the most part don't let people walk over me.My family is wanting to clean up my backyard and they don't have their own cleaned up.Why are people wanting to put all their weight on me and try to cause me problems with my kids and relationships?I lived in a small town where i still have to deal with the court system for my kids,and my mother lives their.She has caused so much drama in my life and gets mad because i don't feel sorry for her.She is mean and manipulative and has moe time on her hands to find ways to jerk me around.The kids other grandparents are mad becuase i don't want nothing to do with their son so they don't none go out of their way to visit my kids but mad because they can't make me feel inferiour to them.They all have visition on paper and don't exercise their rights.Justshallow phone calls.I once had tocall the cops because they came in and took them for the dayand never asked me.copsdidnt protect myrights

The last comment was way off.As i said i wish they would visit my children.They dont go out of their way to visit them it breaks my heart.And their dad don't either.Its like they want all the control or none of it? Im busy trying to raise kids and they have to be pests.

Answer 1

As in any unhealthy relationship, the only thing that you can do is not have any contact with them!! If it's hurting you more than helping you, you need to set some boundaries for yourself!! Tell your mother and family in an appropriate manner, Unless they have something positive to say or do, you don't want them to call or come by!! You yourself need to make sure and stand your ground, nothing but positive people surrounding you, and unless your rules are followed then cut them off!! Just because they're family doesn't mean that you have to allow them to treat you this way!! If that means that you have no contact with them, then so be it!! It's not good for you to have this kind of unhealthy relationship where someone is constantly putting you down and making you feel bad about who you are. Just because they are family doesn't give them the right to do that!! Stand up for you self, but remember , do so in a calm, thoughtful, mature manner! Otherwise if you yell, scream, become emotional in any way, trust me it'll just make them do it more and they won't take you seriously! It's like giving someone with an empty gun ammo! Stick by your wishes, and eventually they'll see that your serious and you won't tolerate their behavior any more!! Good luck.

Answer 2

You say you are a driven person? Well I think you are driving down the wrong road.
Your "family" life seems all screwed up to me, people seem to want to help you and you are just kicking them in the face. It sounds like you think everybody is against you.
By what you say, and HOW you say it. I believe YOU NEED psychological help.
You're all mixed up. no husband no family, no self respect. Why are the "courts" in your life, if you are so good at everything?
Obviously, again, you are Not what YOU think you are. People want to help clean up your yard?
It must be very bad if they think it is worse than their own.
Let people help for goodness sake.
You sound Bipolar to me.
Let them help with EVERYTHING maybe you'll see that they are not all as bad as you tried to paint them. If they didn't care they wouldn't bother. Have you ever thought of that? nobody is forcing them to try to be in your life.
The Grandparents must LOVE your children an awful lot to take them without your permission, or was that just a misunderstanding on your part? and maybe they would love you too if you'd let them.
Think LOVE within a family, not HATE. Think respect, not disrespect, think compromise, show kindness and you will receive kindness.
I see a very troubled lady.
Normal people don't call the POLICE on family. there is no need.
Have you ever thought of going for family counceling? it might help.
And what of the Father of the children , you had more than one child with him, so there must have been feelings there?
Can you not get with him, and find some family counceling together?
At least talk to your local priest or minister who might be able to shed some light on your situation.
E Mail Me if you need to talk some more. I have a willing ear and an open heart for sad people like you.

Answer 3

perhaps look up SETTING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES on Yahoo! Search engine.

you don't seem to have any, which is why others are free to bother you as they please.

take care.

Answer 4

They can only go as far as you let them.

Answer 5

You need to pull it out gently, then wipe it and you're done.