She had a fling with the nite manager at the Walmart and he was fired, so she quit. She is extremely immature and I am totally infuriated with her because this leaves me making her car payments. She already missed the last payment due.
I gave her my cell phone because I was worried about her driving around in the rural area's here with no way to call anyone. Now when I call it, she never answers and makes the excuse she "accidentally had it on silence" I figure if you dont answer your cell phone you will never get a job. How long should I give her to find a job before I confiscate the cell phone and even the car which is in both our names?
2007-08-13 02:53:32 · 15 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
5 days after high school graduation, she moved in with a married man w/child and he ended up putting all of his utilities in her name. She did not even have her 1st job and was not of age.
She is very immature and it took her 16 months to get a job at Walmart after she graduated. She doesnt like to work and college is not an option currently. I dont have money to spend for tuition if she is not serious about it.
2007-08-13 03:08:25 · update #1
you know taking them away until she gets a job may light a fire under her A s s ! as long as she has nothing to loose it may be months before she has a new job.
2007-08-13 02:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by lisamarie7901 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
depends where you live - here (Alberta Canada) it takes about 5 minutes to find a job - my 13 yr old daughter is making $7.50 an hour...
if your daughter missed a car payment what is she doing driving?? if you had to pay for it - its your car.. why does she need a cell phone - do you not have a regular phone?? if she gets job offers they can call on the regular phone..
YOU can drive her around to drop off resumes.. she doesnt need to be driving around anywhere - how can she pay for gas??
if you bail her out she will always use that.. and never really get serious about looking for a job...
heck even if she babysits.. thats better than nothing
UNTIL she makes car payments YOU MUST drive her to and from her jobs...or buy her a bus pass.... she will smarten up pretty quick
I live in a rural area (45 mins from nearest town) my family doesnt even own a cell phone.. your daughter doesnt either..
2007-08-13 03:47:43 · answer #2 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her an ultimatum and dont back down! i know it can be hard and u sometimes will want to give her the benefit of the doubt ... but theres only a certain point u can go to. at the age of 19, missing car payments - the girl obviously needs to learn responsiblity. i do not at all mean that as a jab at your parenting, but some kids just need a good kick in the butt. ive been working since the age of 14 - from a dog groomers to attorneys offices. the 'perfect job' can take some work to find, but A job, for the sake of having one to make ends meet, just requires motivation and a little bit of ambition. and perhaps you pulling the rug out from under her is what she needs. its going without that makes people realize how important it is to WORK for what they need and not expect it to be there.
2007-08-13 03:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by snuggler 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmm OK so let me see if i got this right...
free car
free phone
free gas i would think
free food
free phone calls
hmm where did you say you where??? **** if only you where my parent LOL
at 19 she should know the value of the $$ and should be pulling her own weight.. stop paying for everything she does.. your liability's stop when she is out of school.. so she has a car payment make her work for it. if she wont to keep the car then find jobs for her to do around the home that would be equal to that you would pay someone to do them out side the family, this is on top of her normal things that she is expected to do around the home not instead of them!
no work no car, phone nothing that is going to cost you money anyway. if she can get a job easy then maybe give her a few weeks if it is hard to find a job then give her longer, unless she is disabled and can not work then **** she should be.
I am on a disability benefit for the last 13 years and i have supported my parents on that plus myself why can she not support herself!!
it is very much that she needs to learn to support herself and not looking for a job she is never going to find out about that, with you paying for everything why would she wont to work if your there paying everything??
cut everything that is non vital for her till she gets the new job and while it is going to be hard to do at first it will be worth it in the long run
2007-08-17 00:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would not tolerate my daughter's immature behavior. In order for her to get a job right away, she has to want to work. In this case, she will never find a job with that attitude.
You should have confiscated her stuff and kicked her out a long time ago. She definately needs tough love. No one can get your daughter's job for her. She has to get it herself. Tell your daughter that on no certain terms will you ever tolerate it anymore.
It seems you have been too lenient with her and she needs a lot of discipline. A friend of mine was in a similar situation some years ago and she contacted social services telling them she wanted to put her teenage child up for adoption or have him put in a foster home.
Your child has a lot of growing up to do and you need to stand your ground. Good luck.
2007-08-13 03:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by Frances 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, mom, you need to cut her loose - literally. Give her a month to find a job and an apartment - take away the cell phone and no car. She needs a reality check really bad.
2007-08-13 03:57:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your daughter 2 weeks to find and start a job. There are jobs everywhere and even if she finds a crappy job it's still a job. She can always find a better one while she's working at the crap one. You need to nip this in the bud now before it starts to ruin your life. Both my mother and my husbands mother are dealing with adult kids just like yours and it's very stressing for them and their marriages/relationships. My husbands parents almost broke up over a lazy son. My brother is 27 and still acts like your daughter. That's her future! Please don't let her end up like my dead beat 27 year old can't take care of himself brother! GOOD LUCK!
2007-08-13 04:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by Kristin B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...she is completely different from me, even if she is my age! I would say take away the car and phone...if she lives at home maybe make a contract saying she has o get a job and support herself within a few months, or she needs to move out.
good luck!
2007-08-13 17:55:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walmart and whatever else the average 19 year old qualifies is just a "McJob", best you get her into college and to train for a real job. There she can screw and party her brains out without you worrying much about it.
2007-08-13 03:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well mom..its time for tough love...cell phones are a priviledge..not a neccessity...and that car that is in both your names..it should now just be yours..because she has missed the payment..you said yourself she is immature..and as long as you do for her..she is never going to grow up..so mom it is time for YOU to take away those things she enjoys WITHOUT paying for..and say its time to grow up or lose out ....
2007-08-13 04:45:39 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋