Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Should he have called?

Question

I work 12-14 hr shifts in a hospital. My significant other works more than I do....6 nites a week. We only have the opportunity to speak with each other via the telephone sometimes.
I am very careful not to wake him up because he works nites and I dont want to disturb his sleep.
I worry a lot about him because he has some serious health problems not limited to but including diabetes. He has had problems with low accuchecks and goes coma like and has been taken to the hospital x 2 over this.
He told me he would call me yesterday after he woke up. I waited and waited and no call came. When I got home, I fully believed I would find him laying unconscous or dead at home.
He forgot to call me and went out for a birthday party. His excuse was he was "too busy" to call me. I cant believe that excuse.
I am really feeling like he let me down and just ignored me.
Should I let it go or should I be mad and why?

I did not call him at 1st because I thought he was sleeping. After about 5 pm, I tried to call and he did not answer. He keeps his phone in another room so he doesnt get woke up by telemarketers.

I was calling from work at the hospital which is 30 miles away. I had to finish my shift.

Answer 1

You should just let it go...the other thing I would of wondered is why you weren't invited to the bday party...but if you were working, that's understandable, but he didn't even invite you.

The phone call thing is nothing though...it's one in a million times he doesn't call you...I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 2

I totally know where you are coming from. But, please remember that you are his girlfriend and not his mother. And, that's how he may see it, when you get on him about his health, not calling, and spending time with you.

If I were you, I would sit down and have a heart to heart w/ him. You need to talk, let him know how you are feeling, prioritize boyfriend/girlfriend time together, etc. Especially since you hardly ever seen one another. Make sure you let him know that you are feeling a little neglected, because he ignores your phone calls when you're just simply calling to say "hi" and see how he's doing. Just make sure you say/do it in a way that doesn't come off as if you are nagging. And, address these issues now, rather then later. Trust me! If you don't start communicating and spending more quality time together, then your relationship will eventually dissolve.

Answer 3

Well, just how significant is he?
All medical issues aside, he's still a guy, right?
Usually if a guys says he's going to call and doesn't, you know it's a pretty good indication that he never intended to call in the first place.
Be sure to not act too clingy. If he says that he'll call and doesn't, then so what, it sounds like you have a life of your own, so go out and live it. The next time he calls, you can ask him why he didn't call before, or you can not answer his call, it's your phone and you decide how you're going to use it.

Answer 4

Things like this happen whenever you are in a relationship. If it is just an innocent isolated event, I would say ignore it. But look in the past if you have had similar experiences of wanton neglect, you know, the kinds which are hard to justify or unexcusable then if it is a pattern of behaviour, then the two of you need to talk seriously. Good luck

Answer 5

If you are truly worried you should call him, whether or not you wake him up. If you thought he was sick, then precious time is being wasted while you worry about waking him up. He seems thoughtless but honestly guys just are. No man is going to be as worried, concerned, loving, whatever, as you are. If you were sick like he was, #1 you'd take much better care of yourself #2 he wouldn't worry like you do. It's not an indication of anything except those basic differences between men and women. Next time just call him, or call 911 to go to his house...he'll remember to call after that!

Answer 6

You're only mad because he scared you half to death!! You have every right to be angry about this...but only to a certain extent. You need to just explain to him that you love him to death and you were really worried that something bad had happened when he didn't call after he said he would. It's ok that you're mad that he made you so scared...that only proves how much you love him. However, don't let something silly such as a forgotten phone call come between something that's obviously so important to you. Just tell him he worried you and you'd appreciate it if he tried a little harder not to forget to call when he tells you he will!! Good luck!!

Answer 7

Be TOTALLY mad! I hate it when people use the excuse too busy to call ... It only take a couple of "seconds" to call or leave a message if one is "too busy"

FACT- 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in a hour, 24 hours in a day, that's 86400 seconds and he couldn't call for a couple of seconds? Ridicules! Too busy thinking about the damn party and not you!

Answer 8

a lot of people ask on this site whether or not they should be upset over one matter or another... sure, they get responses saying one way or the other, but do these really help? because the fact of the matter is, you got upset over it. they're your feelings, and even if someone says "it's no big deal'' it could mean a lot more to you.
if you're upset over it, then calmly talk about it with him... tell him the reason why you're upset is because you're worried...
good luck

Answer 9

if this is a one time incident and not something that happens frequently i would forgive him. it's understandable with the two of you working all the time that he may be busy when you are not. i would just let it slid. if he keeps doing this then you have every right to be mad. it seems like an honest mistake.

Answer 10

Don't be mad, forgive him. Let him know although, that it was a bit inconsiderate of him, given his medical history. Let him know how it upset you and scared you, because you care.Now if he continues to treat you in this manner, I would say maybe it's time to move on. I say that because it would be disrespectful to you.